Dear RJ

by RJ Linnan

Confidential to DVT
Blue Grapefruit. BLUE GRAPEFRUIT! DEAR, GOD, BLUEGRAPEFRUITBLUEGRAPEFRUIT!!!

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Dear RJ,
I thought that the designation of classes as 2L or 3L was merely a warning that a designated 2L course could conflict with a required or bar related 3L course, and not that a designated course would be reserved for one class or the other. Can you explain this?
Student who Can’t Really Enter What Ever Division

Dear SCREWED,
Clearly you fail to understand the fact that students in law school shouldn’t get to choose which teacher they take a given class from. Just because the previous policy was to simply be a planning factor for when classes would be offered doesn’t mean that the administration shouldn’t change the policy and give priority to 2L’s. Never mind that 3Ls might actually need the class for when they graduate. Even though every registration process in higher education across the country is generally first-come, first-serve, doesn’t mean that our school should do it that way. Just take bankruptcy instead of tax. They’re basically the same thing.

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Dear RJ,
I am confused by the many different statements that I am asked to make here at law school. I thought that jeans were for rape awareness, red ribbons were for heart health awareness, pink ribbons were for breast awareness, and yellow ribbons meant that I thought Lance Armstrong was hot. A little clarity?
Dumbfounded About Denim

Dear DAD
You have it all wrong. The more important consideration is whether you comply with every request to paint, wear, or pin for whatever the cause du’jour is that day. So, basically, even if there is no rational relationship between a “message” like yellow bracelets and Lance Armstrong’s testicles, or the fact that you were going to wear jeans to school anyway, you still must comply with the request for solidarity or be labeled an asshole.

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Dear RJ
I have a problem with one of my professors. I have never raised my hand in his class, because he would just cut me off anyway. He is always preaching his crazy politics in class and insulting my point of view instead of actually teaching anything and I don’t know what to do?
Really Annoyed at Teacher

Dear RAT
You are absolutely right to not raise your hand and voice your opinions and arguments in class. Why bother when the professor won’t listen anyway? It would probably just offend the professor if you spoke too, and that puts your grade at risk since all professors can access your exam number. What you should do instead of confronting the professor is rush straight to the dean’s office and complain as loudly as possible about your voice being silenced and your opinion going unheard.
When you’re a lawyer, RAT, you won’t have to confront opposing counsel, or a judge who disagrees with you, you’ll just be able to contact the State Bar and issue a complaint because of the disagreement. Ideally a representative from the Bar will come to your rescue by arriving at your next meeting a few minutes late and manage to interrupt your nemesis so you don’t have to do any speaking at all.