Legal Nuggets

by E. Wilson

Vick pleas guilty in dog-fighting controversy
Falcons quarterback Michael Vick. After initially denying involvement and blaming his cousin and friends, Vick pleaded guilty last Monday to federal dog fighting charges. The athlete will be sentenced December 10 and could face up to five years in prison. Though the NFL suspended Vick indefinitely, some people are confident he will return to the game at some point. In terms of his contract, the Falcons are trying to recoup $22 million in bonus money he received as part of the $130 million contract he signed back in 2004.

That’s a lot of money y’all!
K-Fed wants Brittany to fork over $50K for his legal expenses in the couple’s divorce case. The pair has been battling over custody of their two children, 23-month-old Sean Preston and 11-month-old Jayden James, since their divorce became final in July. Though he currently receives $20K per month in spousal support, Federline’s attorney claims there is nothing left after the rapper’s various expenses. Kools, wife-beaters, and Coors Light can really add up!

90 hours = 82 minutes??
At least when you’re a celebrity behind bars it does. Nicole Richie served time August 23 in the same L.A. county jail as her friend,Ms. Hilton, after pleading guilty to a misdemeanor DUI charge. The socialite was originally sentenced to 96 hours in jail, but had it reduced to 90 after factoring in the time she spend immediately following her arrest. Thanks to overcrowding, she didn’t even make it to her cell, and was released after going through the booking area. Richie received the DUI December 11 after driving her Mercedes the wrong way on a freeway. She admitted to police that she smoked marijuana and took the painkiller, Vicodin, prior to driving.

Survivor for Kids
The New Mexico Attorney General’s office is looking into whether CBS violated any child labor laws while filming Kid Nation, a new reality show featuring 40 kids who are left alone in a mock ghost town to build their own society. The network reportedly scooted around the state’s labor rules by declaring the show a summer camp, (one that just happened to have a production crew) instead of a place of employment.

The Power of Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris CAN believe it’s not butter. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs. Well, watch out Chuck Norris, because Mrs. Idaho is about to give you a roundhouse kick out of the spotlight. The Mrs. America contestant sprung into action last Sunday when fellow beauty Mrs. Tennessee was bit by a rattlesnake. The women were on their way to rehearsals for the September 5 finals, when the snake attacked. Fortunately, Mrs. Idaho (also a nurse) quickly extracted the snake’s fangs from her friend’s foot and helped her to the hospital, where doctors injected 10 vials of antivenom. Mrs. Idaho has two speeds: Walk, and Kill. Mrs. Idaho does not sleep. She waits.

He’s the baby’s daddy
After denying he fathered a child with Scary Spice, (AKA Melanie Brown) Eddie Murphy confirmed he was indeed the baby’s daddy following a DNA test that proved he was the father. Murphy divorced from his wife last April, with whom he has five children. The actor finally acknowledged Baby Scary in June, and decided to celebrate the occasion by asking his girlfriend, Tracey Edmonds (recent ex-wife of singer/songwriter “Babyface” Edmonds) to wed a month later. How romantic!

He’s not the daddy.
Or at least he’s not admitting it. Actor Jack Nicholson is denying allegations that he is the father of an illegitimate handicapped son. In an unauthorized biography coming out in October, author Dennis McDougal claims it is common knowledge that the actor has at least 5 love children in addition to his daughter Jennifer, but that he possibly has two more (including the handicap son).

No get out of jail card
Former Durham County District Attorney Mike Nifong was sentenced Friday to a day in jail, after being held in criminal contempt of court for lying to a judge during his pursuit of rape charges against three falsely accused Duke Lacrosse players in 2006. Nifong, who had already lost his law license and resigned from office, was facing up to 30 days in jail and a $500 fine. Instead, the judge sentenced him to jail as a symbolic gesture aimed at protecting the integrity of the justice system.

Also visiting the slammer…
Our favorite messed up celebrity, L.L. The actress copped a plea Thursday on misdemeanor drunken driving and cocaine charges, stemming from two separate arrests – one on May 26 in Beverly Hills and the other on July 24 in Santa Monica. Both incidents were immediately following the actress’s stints in rehab. Lohan will spend one day in jail, serve 10 days of community service, and complete a drug treatment program.

What a lucky b*%$!
“Queen of Mean” Leona Helmsley died August 20, leaving $12 million dollars to her Maltese, Trouble, and nothing for two of her grandchildren, “for reasons that are known to them.” Ouch.