Deep Thoughts

by R.J. Linnan

As possible, I respond to letters in a column called “Dear, RJ.” Since it’s early, and I don’t have any questions, I give you dear readers a short list of thoughts overheard in the first three weeks of school, and relayed to me by a mind reading law student who wishes to remain anonymous.

• Jesus, did they catch E.T in the lobby?
• One more SECOND of DIVERSITY training, and I am going to choke someone.
• Lawyers drink too much. I GET IT!!
• Does Dean Burnett use any words that AREN’T in Black’s Law Dictionary?
• This chick bugs me.
• What time does the liquor store close?
• 15 minutes left.
• Who IS this chick??
• “Whereas.” What an ass.
• “Last night it was Guinness, Scotch, and Grand Marnier.” – “Oh, so it was like an embassy party.”
• “As a prosecutor, you’re going to find a lot of your witnesses are scumbags.” I wonder if he is including cops.
• I must have been reading from the wrong part of the book.
• Why does that guy PERPETUALLY have sunglasses on his head?
• How does she talk that fast?
• Great. Introductions again. I REALLY don’t want to know any more about this person
• Is it too late to go to business school?
• Is RJ DANCING??
• Who told Kenzo he could sing?
• Did I call him a douchebag on Saturday? Ah, shit… I think I called him a douchebag on Saturday.
• Re-distribute all the wealth, huh, Che McCarthy?
• So bored
• How many frickin’ IM windows does she have open??
• For the love of GOD it’s hot in this room. Why can’t there just be ONE TEMPERATURE in this f-ing building??
• Please don’t call on me. Please don’t call on me.
• Suck up.
• A wide stance huh?
• Wait. Larry Craig never hit on me.
• Giant sucking noise, huh? I thought that was just Moscow.
• Giant sucking noise? Maybe it was coming from Senator Craig’s office.

For future Inter Alia issues, please send your Dear RJ questions to rjlinnan@vandals.uidaho.edu. Past questions have included queries into the reason that pedestrians and bicyclists in Moscow are such ridiculously annoying idiots, confrontations with teachers, confrontations with classmates, and Lance Armstrong’s testicles, so feel free to write on whatever topic you’d like, and I will look forward to trying to help.