Your dead relative left you money in Africa

Dear Inter Alia,

I know that this message will come to you as a surprise. I am the bill and exchange manager in Bank of Africa (BOA), Ouagadougou Burkina Faso. I hoped that you will not expose or betray this trust and confident that I am about to repose on you for the mutual benefit of our families.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/859479.stm
I need your urgent assistance in transferring the sum of (USD$25) Million to your account within 10 to 14 banking days. This money has been dormant for years in our bank without claim. I want the bank to release the money to you as the nearest person to our deceased customer (the owner of the account) died along with his supposed next of kin in an air crash since July, 2000.
I don’t want the money to go into our bank treasurer account as an abandoned fund. So this is the reason why I contacted you so that the bank can release the money to you as the next of kin to the deceased customer. Please I would like you to keep this proposal as a top secret and delete if you are not interested.
Upon receipt of your reply, I will give you full details on how the business will be executed and also note that you will have 30% of the above mentioned sum if you agree to hand this business with me? and 10% will be set aside for any expenses that warrant on the process before the fund gets into your bank account such as telephone calls bills (etc).

Best Regard,
Mr. Yusuf Musa

My Dear Yusuf,

I am sorry to hear about my next of kin. That plane crash was quite a tragedy. I hope Air France took the necessary precautions to avoid a repeat of this situation. I wish I would have known him or her. I am glad you contacted me and I will be happy to help you anyway possible.
As it happens, I am quite wealthy already so I have no need for the money you wrote about. Rather, I would be happy to donate it to a worthy cause. There is a terrible affliction that affects many people per year called Cotard Delusion, or Walking Corpse Syndrome. Cotards causes a person to hold a delusional belief that he or she is dead, does not exist, is putrefying or has lost his/her blood or internal organs. I would very much like to donate these funds to finding a cure for Cotards.
I am somewhat concerned about the legality of this transaction however. Are estates typically handled in this fashion in Ouagadougou? I don’t know who which of these individuals were my kin but are we sure that I am the right next of kin? Was I included in a will or did the decedent died intestate? Either way, I am happy to help and I have no problem sending you my account number and PIN or whatever you need.
Please, send me instructions so we can facilitate this transaction. I can’t wait to help those poor Cotards.

Your’s truly,

Youre anasshole (by Josh Studor)