Best Overall (3L)
Brad Weber
Most Creative
Steven McRae
Best 2L
Brandon Smith
Best 1L:
Aaron Contreras
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Best Damn Facial Hair Contest (Winners)
Best Overall (3L)
Brad Weber
Most Creative
Steven McRae
Best 2L
Brandon Smith
Best 1L:
Aaron Contreras
Local hero assists in speedy grade return for B.A. Final
by Eric Haley
Over the holiday, University of Idaho presented Tim Dungles with a key to the Menard College of Law for his heroic actions that ultimately led to the Business Associations scantron finally being graded in the beginning of the Spring semester. Mr. Dungles is an associate food service provider at Wendy’s Restaurant, located across the road from the University. Depositing used cooking lubricant in to transport bins is one of Mr. Dungles many responsibilities on the job and while carrying out his duty on Christmas eve he saved the Fall 2007 B.A Final grades by picking up what he perceived to be unsoiled napkins in the diner’s parking lot.
“Customers got to wipe their hands on something so I picked them up”, said Dungles, during his key presentation address. “I knew something was wrong when they wouldn’t fit into the napkin dispensers so I looked at them closer and believing that I had found some sort of alien alphabet code, I did what anyone would do, I dialed 911. The operator finally explained to me that given the close proximity of the University and the fact that the code consisted of only darkened A, B, C, D, and E’s, it was most likely property of the University . And that made sense given the fact that if they were aliens who found us before we found them, they would probably have a more advanced alphabet.”
Mr. Dungles promptly forfeited the scantrons to University officials who in turn saw them safely back to the Law school. The school is not investigating how the scantrons turned up at Wendy’s at this time.
Once in custody, the scantrons were commercially mailed to India to be graded by the school’s outsourced scantron grading firm. Once back through customs and into Idaho, the grades were recorded and the students notified.
Over the holiday, University of Idaho presented Tim Dungles with a key to the Menard College of Law for his heroic actions that ultimately led to the Business Associations scantron finally being graded in the beginning of the Spring semester. Mr. Dungles is an associate food service provider at Wendy’s Restaurant, located across the road from the University. Depositing used cooking lubricant in to transport bins is one of Mr. Dungles many responsibilities on the job and while carrying out his duty on Christmas eve he saved the Fall 2007 B.A Final grades by picking up what he perceived to be unsoiled napkins in the diner’s parking lot.
“Customers got to wipe their hands on something so I picked them up”, said Dungles, during his key presentation address. “I knew something was wrong when they wouldn’t fit into the napkin dispensers so I looked at them closer and believing that I had found some sort of alien alphabet code, I did what anyone would do, I dialed 911. The operator finally explained to me that given the close proximity of the University and the fact that the code consisted of only darkened A, B, C, D, and E’s, it was most likely property of the University . And that made sense given the fact that if they were aliens who found us before we found them, they would probably have a more advanced alphabet.”
Mr. Dungles promptly forfeited the scantrons to University officials who in turn saw them safely back to the Law school. The school is not investigating how the scantrons turned up at Wendy’s at this time.
Once in custody, the scantrons were commercially mailed to India to be graded by the school’s outsourced scantron grading firm. Once back through customs and into Idaho, the grades were recorded and the students notified.
It's All Fun and Games...
by Amy Stack and Lindsey Simon
In light of the recent grumbling heard around the law school regarding final exams last semester, we humble authors started to wonder if perhaps there was a better way to test students. Taking a cue from the network executives during the writer’s strike, we propose a new law school exam system based entirely on game shows, reality shows, and classic board games.
Torts—American Gladiators
• Re-born in the new millennium like one of its hosts, Hulk Hogan, this exam wants you to “say your prayers and take your vitamins.” Gauntlet, Powerball, and The Eliminator are no match for students on American “Tortfeasor” Gladiators. Exam takers compete by dodging exploding lamps, ducking under trains, side-stepping escaped barrels, and avoiding the swinging madness of the Golfing-Gizmo. This exam will be re-given the following semester and will require steroid screening.
Constitutional Law—Survivor: Guantanamo
• Two words: Survivor: Guantanamo. During this exam, student grades will be based on two factors: (1) how long they can withstand water-boarding, and then (2) correctly answering the yes/no questions, “Was that torture?” So far no one has gotten this one right.
Professional Responsibility—Double Dare
• Marc Summers, reading from the Model Rules of Professional Double Dare will begin your exam with an explanation of the Game: “I’m going to ask you thirty questions, and if you don’t know the answer, or think the other students haven’t got a clue, you can dare them to answer for double the grade points. But be carefully because they can always Double Dare you back for four times the points, and then you’ll either have to answer the questions or take the physical challenge.” Physical challenges may include: “Pie in the Pants,” “Rain on Your Parade,” “Human Taco,” or “Hard-Partying 2L” and “Non-Traditional Student.”
Business Associations—Deal or No Deal
• In this version, student contestants open briefcases to reveal grade points. As the points accumulate, a call comes down from “The Banker” (i.e., Professor Anderson) with an offer for a certain grade. Students are encouraged to remember that a deal’s a deal (and it’s your own dumb fault). And make sure that you don’t confuse your game shows and yell, “Whammys” mid-lecture, or you’ll catch a suspender clip to the mouth.
Family Law—The Price is Right
• After being urged to “Come on down!” students are shown a dysfunctional family and then asked to bid on what spousal support and child support amounts are appropriate. The student that comes closest to the correct amount according to state guidelines advances to the next round. In the Showcase round the students are shown the family “assets” and asked to divide them based upon equitable distribution. And as always, remember to spay and neuter your kid... uh, pets.
Evidence—Family Feud
• All the legal jargon that family members of students have been forced to endure finally pays off in this exam. Spouses, parents, siblings, and children will have to provide category answers based on all those hearsay exceptions you were drunkenly shouting at the television during Law and Order marathons, CSI, and Matlock over Christmas Break.
Criminal Law—Clue Tournament
• The old method of providing an actor, event, and theory in Criminal law exam answers takes a new twist in this tournament of the classic board game. Now students must provide the correct murderer, location, and weapon in order to succeed. E.g., Professor Hasko, in the Law Library, with the microfiche (microfiche thrown at high speeds have been used for decades to sever the carotid arteries of rival librarians).
Bankruptcy—Life Tournament
• It’s the game of Life! Deal with it, Chump.
Trial Skills
• We’re pitching a new game show to NBC execs for this one. Our tagline? “Judge Judy Meets ‘The Most Dangerous Game.’” We haven’t quite figured out how it works yet. All you need to know is that Professor Williams will only give you a five minute head start before he paints the courtroom with your blood.
Sales
• It’s not really a game, but we think it would be a good testing method anyway. This final is a lot like the standard egg/flour sack assignment from high school, in that your grade depends on the condition of your U.C.C. supplement at the end of the semester. A broken spine or excessive tabbing is an automatic grade deduction. Also, you must bear in mind Professor Beard’s care instructions—“Never expose your U.C.C. supplement to direct sunlight. Never get it wet, and most importantly, never, ever feed it after midnight.”
In light of the recent grumbling heard around the law school regarding final exams last semester, we humble authors started to wonder if perhaps there was a better way to test students. Taking a cue from the network executives during the writer’s strike, we propose a new law school exam system based entirely on game shows, reality shows, and classic board games.
Torts—American Gladiators
• Re-born in the new millennium like one of its hosts, Hulk Hogan, this exam wants you to “say your prayers and take your vitamins.” Gauntlet, Powerball, and The Eliminator are no match for students on American “Tortfeasor” Gladiators. Exam takers compete by dodging exploding lamps, ducking under trains, side-stepping escaped barrels, and avoiding the swinging madness of the Golfing-Gizmo. This exam will be re-given the following semester and will require steroid screening.
Constitutional Law—Survivor: Guantanamo
• Two words: Survivor: Guantanamo. During this exam, student grades will be based on two factors: (1) how long they can withstand water-boarding, and then (2) correctly answering the yes/no questions, “Was that torture?” So far no one has gotten this one right.
Professional Responsibility—Double Dare
• Marc Summers, reading from the Model Rules of Professional Double Dare will begin your exam with an explanation of the Game: “I’m going to ask you thirty questions, and if you don’t know the answer, or think the other students haven’t got a clue, you can dare them to answer for double the grade points. But be carefully because they can always Double Dare you back for four times the points, and then you’ll either have to answer the questions or take the physical challenge.” Physical challenges may include: “Pie in the Pants,” “Rain on Your Parade,” “Human Taco,” or “Hard-Partying 2L” and “Non-Traditional Student.”
Business Associations—Deal or No Deal
• In this version, student contestants open briefcases to reveal grade points. As the points accumulate, a call comes down from “The Banker” (i.e., Professor Anderson) with an offer for a certain grade. Students are encouraged to remember that a deal’s a deal (and it’s your own dumb fault). And make sure that you don’t confuse your game shows and yell, “Whammys” mid-lecture, or you’ll catch a suspender clip to the mouth.
Family Law—The Price is Right
• After being urged to “Come on down!” students are shown a dysfunctional family and then asked to bid on what spousal support and child support amounts are appropriate. The student that comes closest to the correct amount according to state guidelines advances to the next round. In the Showcase round the students are shown the family “assets” and asked to divide them based upon equitable distribution. And as always, remember to spay and neuter your kid... uh, pets.
Evidence—Family Feud
• All the legal jargon that family members of students have been forced to endure finally pays off in this exam. Spouses, parents, siblings, and children will have to provide category answers based on all those hearsay exceptions you were drunkenly shouting at the television during Law and Order marathons, CSI, and Matlock over Christmas Break.
Criminal Law—Clue Tournament
• The old method of providing an actor, event, and theory in Criminal law exam answers takes a new twist in this tournament of the classic board game. Now students must provide the correct murderer, location, and weapon in order to succeed. E.g., Professor Hasko, in the Law Library, with the microfiche (microfiche thrown at high speeds have been used for decades to sever the carotid arteries of rival librarians).
Bankruptcy—Life Tournament
• It’s the game of Life! Deal with it, Chump.
Trial Skills
• We’re pitching a new game show to NBC execs for this one. Our tagline? “Judge Judy Meets ‘The Most Dangerous Game.’” We haven’t quite figured out how it works yet. All you need to know is that Professor Williams will only give you a five minute head start before he paints the courtroom with your blood.
Sales
• It’s not really a game, but we think it would be a good testing method anyway. This final is a lot like the standard egg/flour sack assignment from high school, in that your grade depends on the condition of your U.C.C. supplement at the end of the semester. A broken spine or excessive tabbing is an automatic grade deduction. Also, you must bear in mind Professor Beard’s care instructions—“Never expose your U.C.C. supplement to direct sunlight. Never get it wet, and most importantly, never, ever feed it after midnight.”
Grades at the U of I are a gamble... literally
by Collin Simonsen
I was in an interview for a job with a prestigious firm a few days ago when the interviewer asked me for my transcript. I reminded him, sheepishly, that I came from the University of Idaho. He said, “I see. Bring it in.”
I then left the room and came back a moment later carting a slot machine.
“Now please understand that I had Goble, MacDonald twice, Beard for Sales that “one year” and Rowland, so I’ll have to do this twice.”
I inserted a quarter into the machine and pulled the lever. As the columns began turning I stared excitedly my eyes bulging with anticipation.
And the first grade was... a “C”! Dang it! I looked at my interviewer nervously. The second grade? “D-”! Dang it! And I had even had the answers for that one! The third grade? “C+”! An improvement at least.
I looked at my interviewer again and said, “It’ll get better I promise.” So I pulled the lever again after inserting another coin. This time it came out “A-”, “A” and “B” plus! Yes! I turned to my future employer and said, confidently, “And since those were second year grades you can tell that I improved.”
“That’s a good point,” he said, “But how do I know they won’t change next week?”
“Well, if I come in next week and they are either substantially the same or better, can I have the job?” I asked.
“We’ll see. Meanwhile, it is now time for my interview with the Harvard law grad., so... yeah, get outta here.”
“Oh, I don’t suppose you even have to look at his grades.”
“Um, No.”
Dejected, I left his office with my grade machine.
I was in an interview for a job with a prestigious firm a few days ago when the interviewer asked me for my transcript. I reminded him, sheepishly, that I came from the University of Idaho. He said, “I see. Bring it in.”
I then left the room and came back a moment later carting a slot machine.
“Now please understand that I had Goble, MacDonald twice, Beard for Sales that “one year” and Rowland, so I’ll have to do this twice.”
I inserted a quarter into the machine and pulled the lever. As the columns began turning I stared excitedly my eyes bulging with anticipation.
And the first grade was... a “C”! Dang it! I looked at my interviewer nervously. The second grade? “D-”! Dang it! And I had even had the answers for that one! The third grade? “C+”! An improvement at least.
I looked at my interviewer again and said, “It’ll get better I promise.” So I pulled the lever again after inserting another coin. This time it came out “A-”, “A” and “B” plus! Yes! I turned to my future employer and said, confidently, “And since those were second year grades you can tell that I improved.”
“That’s a good point,” he said, “But how do I know they won’t change next week?”
“Well, if I come in next week and they are either substantially the same or better, can I have the job?” I asked.
“We’ll see. Meanwhile, it is now time for my interview with the Harvard law grad., so... yeah, get outta here.”
“Oh, I don’t suppose you even have to look at his grades.”
“Um, No.”
Dejected, I left his office with my grade machine.
Torts Lib
by Eric Haley
Instructions: Read the potential Torts final exam hypo. You will notice words are left out. Fill in the blanks and giggle about it with friends!
Farmer Shickadance runs a big ole farm, with a big ole tractor, a big ole hog pen, a big ole heard of cattle, and a big ole barn. That’s because Farmer Shickdance has a big ole _________(noun). Shickadance was squirrely on his good days and meaner than a 3-________(adj) cougar on his bad days. So he wasn’t amused when two smart-ass teenager’s, Mike and Luke, snuck up on his _____________ (living thing), Ole Bossey, and tipped him/her/it over.
Shickadance said on more than one drunken occasion, “ _______(verb) my farm, _______(verb) my hogs, hell I don’t even lock my barn so if you want to sneak in and _________(verb) a cute little _______(noun) or two, well that’s between you and God. But nobody tips over Ole Bossey Shickadance. That will get a ____________(slang noun) hurt!
Shickadance spent the majority of the day consoling Ole Bossey who was in a state of severe emotional distress and physical pain because the “tipping” had left him/her/it with a broken ____________(body part). The next day, Shickadance woke up to the pungent smell of ________(noun). “Is that smell coming from inside the house or outsi....Oh My God! Bossey!”
Shickdance couldn’t have been more shocked if he had seen __________(living thing) hoola hooping with Barbara Walters in his front yard. During the night, someone had thrown a hot bucket of _______ (liquid) on Ole Bossey. Adding injury to insult, there on the wall smeared in _________ (whatever), was the message: “L and M 4eva!”
Well it looked like tweedle-dee and tweedle-_______ (u pick) had won this war. “Look it! Ole Bossey is just lying there, smellier then a sack of ________(whatever)!”, the boys elated. Let me tell ya, 99 percent of the time, Luke and Mike would have been in the clear because 99 percent of the people you could ______(verb) with, weren’t Farmer Shickadance. Shickadance hired a bodyguard for Ole Bossey but not just any bodyguard, it was “Nicotine, the Tort Magician!”
Nicotine was a bodyguarding son-of-a-________(noun), with an arsenal of smoke screens, doves up his sleeves and a bunny in his __________(noun). Tragically, after taking 10 steps onto Shickadance’s property, Nicotine slipped on a pile of _________(noun) shit and broke his neck. The fall dislodged a cigarette from his lips which ignited his _________(body part) tassels thus detonating the smoke screens.
The doves, no longer able to sustain life in the sleeves of a dead burning magician, took desperate flight into the smoke that now eclipsed all visibility on the road. Luke and Mike ran towards the smoke, hoping that Shickdance’s __________(noun) was up___________(whatever) creek without a __________(noun), just in time to witness Luke’s parents jogging into one side of the smoke, and Mike’s drunk uncle daydreaming into the smoke in the opposite direction. The problem wasn’t the timing of the day dream session, it was location. Slick-________(name), as his friends called him, happened to be located behind the wheel of his _______(year) ________(vehicle). His last thought before leaving this Earth was “Hmmmm...who would have thought you would be greeted by white doves at the smoky gates of hell?”
The truck lost control at the same moment that the comet “Halebop” came crashing into the accident scene leaving a one-mile circle of scorched Earth. Everyone in the fact pattern is ________(u pick) up!
Please analyze the various tort issues.
Instructions: Read the potential Torts final exam hypo. You will notice words are left out. Fill in the blanks and giggle about it with friends!
Farmer Shickadance runs a big ole farm, with a big ole tractor, a big ole hog pen, a big ole heard of cattle, and a big ole barn. That’s because Farmer Shickdance has a big ole _________(noun). Shickadance was squirrely on his good days and meaner than a 3-________(adj) cougar on his bad days. So he wasn’t amused when two smart-ass teenager’s, Mike and Luke, snuck up on his _____________ (living thing), Ole Bossey, and tipped him/her/it over.
Shickadance said on more than one drunken occasion, “ _______(verb) my farm, _______(verb) my hogs, hell I don’t even lock my barn so if you want to sneak in and _________(verb) a cute little _______(noun) or two, well that’s between you and God. But nobody tips over Ole Bossey Shickadance. That will get a ____________(slang noun) hurt!
Shickadance spent the majority of the day consoling Ole Bossey who was in a state of severe emotional distress and physical pain because the “tipping” had left him/her/it with a broken ____________(body part). The next day, Shickadance woke up to the pungent smell of ________(noun). “Is that smell coming from inside the house or outsi....Oh My God! Bossey!”
Shickdance couldn’t have been more shocked if he had seen __________(living thing) hoola hooping with Barbara Walters in his front yard. During the night, someone had thrown a hot bucket of _______ (liquid) on Ole Bossey. Adding injury to insult, there on the wall smeared in _________ (whatever), was the message: “L and M 4eva!”
Well it looked like tweedle-dee and tweedle-_______ (u pick) had won this war. “Look it! Ole Bossey is just lying there, smellier then a sack of ________(whatever)!”, the boys elated. Let me tell ya, 99 percent of the time, Luke and Mike would have been in the clear because 99 percent of the people you could ______(verb) with, weren’t Farmer Shickadance. Shickadance hired a bodyguard for Ole Bossey but not just any bodyguard, it was “Nicotine, the Tort Magician!”
Nicotine was a bodyguarding son-of-a-________(noun), with an arsenal of smoke screens, doves up his sleeves and a bunny in his __________(noun). Tragically, after taking 10 steps onto Shickadance’s property, Nicotine slipped on a pile of _________(noun) shit and broke his neck. The fall dislodged a cigarette from his lips which ignited his _________(body part) tassels thus detonating the smoke screens.
The doves, no longer able to sustain life in the sleeves of a dead burning magician, took desperate flight into the smoke that now eclipsed all visibility on the road. Luke and Mike ran towards the smoke, hoping that Shickdance’s __________(noun) was up___________(whatever) creek without a __________(noun), just in time to witness Luke’s parents jogging into one side of the smoke, and Mike’s drunk uncle daydreaming into the smoke in the opposite direction. The problem wasn’t the timing of the day dream session, it was location. Slick-________(name), as his friends called him, happened to be located behind the wheel of his _______(year) ________(vehicle). His last thought before leaving this Earth was “Hmmmm...who would have thought you would be greeted by white doves at the smoky gates of hell?”
The truck lost control at the same moment that the comet “Halebop” came crashing into the accident scene leaving a one-mile circle of scorched Earth. Everyone in the fact pattern is ________(u pick) up!
Please analyze the various tort issues.
J-Mac offers little learning, lots of controversy
Note: this is the expanded version of the article published in the printed version of Inter Alia. The opinion is that of the author's alone and does not represent the opinion of the editorial staff, SBA or the University of Idaho.
by Josh Studor
There just isn’t a great forum for expressing displeasure with a professor. There is no “rate a prof” forum or a new tenure committee hearing to discuss how his ridiculous behavior distracts from the message – if there even is one. We have the opportunity to fill out course evaluations but an old, tenured grump like Jimmy Mac doesn’t give a damn about what students write about him. Rather, the only forum is this one.
I’ve had Jimmy Mac for two classes. Yeah, I was a sucker. I took Con Law II from him after having a really great experience the semester before in Con Law I, which was taught by departed professor Russ Miller (who Mac refers to as Prof. Russ). I was appalled by the Jimmy Mac’s class and swore I would never take another class from that man. But a variety of people assured me that he was “way better in Federal Courts.”
He wasn’t.
And he wasn’t any better to the 2Ls this year for Con Law either. The wide variety of ridiculous statements my Mr. Mac is astounding still.
“You would feel differently if you were a Japanese American” – said to Kinzo. (He responded: “I am.”)
“What if I called you a ‘Fucking Nip’” – said to Kinzo.
“You can’t be a Republican and be a decent human being.”
“California is Californicating the North West.”
“Well then, you’re an idiot” – said to RJ in class.
“Instead of giving [mentally ill patients] meds that make them worse, we should lock them away in padded rooms.”
“You hate [poor/black] people, don’t you.”
For those of you fortunate enough to have not suffered through one of his more manic episodes… I mean classes, let me give you what I remember to be a typical class:
The class starts when Jimmy Mac comes in the classroom early and writes a series of words on the chalkboard that indicate his “lesson plan” for the day. Sometimes they are case names, sometimes they are key people or philosophies, and sometimes there are provocative statements like “Guns and Nuts.” Also included is a set of page numbers that he expects to get through in the next three sessions. He never actually gets to them on schedule.
Then, when class comes to session, he tells everyone to turn to a particular page in the book that he intends to talk about. And he may actually talk about it some days. Most of the time he says something like, “can you believe what the court did in this case.” And then goes on to explain how the “Republicans” on the court screwed up the decision. Usually, it is because the justices hate black people, poor people, illegal immigrants, and women.
Incidentally, justices may be appointed by Republicans or may be conservative, but they are not actually members of any particular political party.
He will then ask a question of the class that has nothing to do with what happened in this case. Rather, he asks things like “in a class this size, you are telling me none of you have smoked peyote?” Or “Do any of you, who are more inclined to the conservative side, want to defend this ridiculous idea?”
Occasionally, someone will tentatively raise her hand and begin to answer a question (or attempt to ask one) and he will interrupt her at the least opportune time. He often stops people in the middle of their statements simply to change the meaning of the statement about to be made and put words in the individual’s mouth. Sometimes, the interruption is simply to call you stupid. It happened to me.
We were talking in class about federalism and whether the state laboratory idea was a good one. Jimmy Mac was obviously on the side of stronger federal government (because he strangely thinks that arguing for a weaker federal government is racist). I raised my hand and said something like “well, there is something to be said about just moving if you really don’t like the law in that state. I, for instance, plan to move out of Idaho because of the anti-gay marriage amendment passed recently.”
“Well, that’s just stupid to put all your eggs in one basket like that,” Jimmy Mac announced to the entire class.
I immediately had 20 or more IM windows pop up on my computer screen with people saying “holy shit.”
His badgering, name calling, and rude behavior eventually lead to people just remaining silent because there is ultimately not point in yelling at the hurricane.
Further insulting is Jimmy Mac’s use of “so called” as a preface to a variety words or phrases. For example, he often says the “’so called gays,’” “so called ‘feminists,’” “so called ‘states’ rights people,’” “so called ‘African-Americans,’” or “so called liberals.” The preface “so called” carries with it a demeaning connotation that the thing it prefaces is not actually the thing it claims to be. I don’t know what “so called ‘gays’” means except that people who say they are gay are not actually gay.
About 40 minutes into the class, the average person realizes that class is about over and, at the same time, realizes that he’s spent more time reading Wikipedia or IMing than taking notes. At least for me, it’s not because I don’t care about the subject or because the professor’s lack of inflection has lulled me to sleep. Rather, it is because at some point, Jimmy Mac’s gruff and abrasive personality has made me shut down. Even as a liberal, I just don’t want to hear “Republicans are evil,” “Scalia is an idiot,” and “Your thoughts are stupid” for an entire 50 minutes.
Students are not only kept from expressing their opposing views in class, they are also kept from avoiding the whole debacle. After one particularly awful class about gun violence and the mentally ill, some students got up and walked out of the class. Jimmy Mac then took the liberty of calling these individuals at home and reminding them that the attendance policy would be enforced should they not show up to class.
Then, when class is supposed to be over, he runs over long enough to finish his point (or whatever he was saying) and tell the class that he didn’t have the time to get through all he wanted to because [insert name] didn’t teach the class enough. It’s never his fault.
But once class is over for the last time, you have your grade to worry about and, in grading, Jimmy Mac is simply arbitrary. Take last semester as an example.
In Con Law I, the 2Ls took their exam early in the finals weeks. Hoping to be able to study better for the exam, many of the students asked for some form of sample questions. Jimmy Mac refused the request and took down the sample exams from previous years. The students then went out of their way to locate some sample questions in a Kaplan Bar Review book and studied from those questions. When the students showed up for the exam, many of the Kaplan multiple choice questions (I believe it was 27) were on the exam verbatim.
Jimmy Mac found out that the students had studied the questions and subsequently announced that he would be removing those questions from the exam. The resulting e-mail exchange filled 2L and administrator inboxes for days. After some discussion, and a meeting with the deans and a 2L student, Jimmy Mac agreed to keep the questions in the test.
Apparently, after Jimmy Mac turned in the grades, he informed the 2L students that they would not be able to look at their exams unless they wanted him to re-grade their exam. He followed with a warning that he was “just as likely to lower your grade as raise it.”
Two particular problems jump out at me: First, Kaplan’s questions are copyrighted and Jimmy Mac used them to “write” his test. What he did would amount to plagiarism if a student were to do something similar. Just to be clear, I am actually saying that Professor James McDonald, a tenured professor at the University of Idaho College of Law, copied and possibly plagiarized Kaplan’s questions for his 2007 Con Law I test.
The second problem I have is that there is no way to know if he actually kept or removed the questions if students are not able to review their exams without repercussions. Without permission to view their exams, students have no guarantee that he didn’t just assign letter grades at random.
Admittedly, this is only one side of the story and at least a few students will completely disagree with my characterizations (including my fellow editor). Those people may argue that Jimmy Mac is attempting to make students see different sides of the issue or he wants to rile up the class so they will pay attention. I agree; one way to teach a class is to rile them up or defend unpopular ideas. However, the way to do that is to present opposing arguments not verbally insult the other side simply to make a statement. Being offensive for the sake of being offensive serves no pedagogical interest.
For the record, I am not writing this because I got a bad grade or something. In fact, I did far better in Federal Courts than I expected. I write this because it needs to be said and this school needs a better conversation about what is appropriate in the classroom setting.
Heard Around the Law School
compiled by RJ Linnan
• The cat was covered in pie
• What kind of case has a football helmet as circumstantial evidence?
• Bats are cool. Batman is cooler.
• You get paid whether your work is crappy or not. That makes you a professional.
• FOUR e-mails in two days about a brown bag lunch is just excessive
• You know what they need? Coffee flavored water.
They do... It’s called Coffee.
No but that rich flavor without the caffeine.
You mean decaf?
• We’re living in the law school version of “Scrubs.”
• I have never made fun of him to his face. I have been afraid he would pull out a battle axe
• I need to get an external hard drive. My laptop is only forty gigs. Thirty is music and the rest is notes and porn.
• They were baby making cheating dirty trailer people
• We’re going to need a gouge for this class, I am going to sleep.
• Hey! Quit being such a tease-bag.
• Yeah, but you called him a douchebag.
• Holy shitballs, I love the grading curve
• I had a 101 fever this morning when I left from Spokane. Thanks for sharing.
• Yeah, he wrote the book you use in torts, but writing tests is different.
• How did we go from a Republican getting the wall torn down to a Republican that wants us to be East Germany with a wall at the borders?
• That was just diarrhea of the pen by the court
• Yeah, kudos on the latest article, not so much on the exam.
• Being in law school here is like being in an abusive relationship.
• I’m pretty sure if I am dating a guy who owns a yacht I am not going to need any lubricant
• The cat was covered in pie
• What kind of case has a football helmet as circumstantial evidence?
• Bats are cool. Batman is cooler.
• You get paid whether your work is crappy or not. That makes you a professional.
• FOUR e-mails in two days about a brown bag lunch is just excessive
• You know what they need? Coffee flavored water.
They do... It’s called Coffee.
No but that rich flavor without the caffeine.
You mean decaf?
• We’re living in the law school version of “Scrubs.”
• I have never made fun of him to his face. I have been afraid he would pull out a battle axe
• I need to get an external hard drive. My laptop is only forty gigs. Thirty is music and the rest is notes and porn.
• They were baby making cheating dirty trailer people
• We’re going to need a gouge for this class, I am going to sleep.
• Hey! Quit being such a tease-bag.
• Yeah, but you called him a douchebag.
• Holy shitballs, I love the grading curve
• I had a 101 fever this morning when I left from Spokane. Thanks for sharing.
• Yeah, he wrote the book you use in torts, but writing tests is different.
• How did we go from a Republican getting the wall torn down to a Republican that wants us to be East Germany with a wall at the borders?
• That was just diarrhea of the pen by the court
• Yeah, kudos on the latest article, not so much on the exam.
• Being in law school here is like being in an abusive relationship.
• I’m pretty sure if I am dating a guy who owns a yacht I am not going to need any lubricant
Clash of the Pretty Boys
by Aaron Crary
As appears its marketing goal, the law school is made up of a diverse student body. With different ethnic backgrounds, lifestyles and eating habits the diversity here is quite evident. And I don’t think anyone would question that our creators plan, in his infinite wisdom, has failed by constructing such diversity not only in our school, but among the general population as well. But as consequence of doing so there are certain members of the society, and specifically here in our law school, who find themselves much more physically appealing and subject to more than the normal amount of attention given to the general public.
Although the majority of my time is spent looking at our female makeup here at the school, it would be childish for me to deny that I have not noticed our male population as well. My inquiry for today is a study into the makeup of some of the more appealing male members of our school.
As would be expected, I use myself as the general template for comparison. But unfortunately, as much as I would like to confirm that I am in fact the model of physical prowess amongst the three classes, I just don’t think my credibility could take that kind of backlash with such a claim.
My good friend and fellow 3L Will Fletcher does not hold the same self restraint. The self-proclaimed heartthrob does not doubt for a minute that he is amongst the top. I know Will lifts a lot of weights, giving him man pecks that would make any 13 year old girl jealous. But the fact is that one, Will is not tall enough; and two, although this should not matter in a vote such as this one, no one likes him and therefore he cannot be a favorite in any such vote.
No, my tale today focuses on a certain specimen, a one Trent Belnap, who found himself struggling with these such ideals. As it goes, Trent came onto the scene in 2005. The first year was easy for Trent. There were few who had the gall to question the brilliance this young man embodied. A modest stature of 6’3’’ topped off with a blond-haired, hazel-eyed face that seemed to be chiseled by the breath of angels on their way up to heaven, Trent was truly without equal.
And Trent relished his role. He knew his place. He was born a creature of beauty, and as such did relatively little to reinforce what his maker had so gratuitously bestowed upon him. Trent was happy to sit back and offer his welcome contentment from his modest perch, always off in the corner, never threatening or condescending, a soft reminder of what could be.
But a life at the top it was not to be. Unfortunately for Trent, when his second year came he ran into something he never expected.
Trent had never been so confused, a spectacle before his eyes he had never before witnessed. A passing of the torch it appeared, an event that Trent had never partaken in and as such was not and could never be prepared for.
The individual before him was truly one that seemed unspeakable. Whereas Trent had found comfort in the fact that his face could perform wonders among the masses, he was now faced with a prospect who was equal not only in complexion, but in physical stature as well. No, it was no secret this man, a Craig Weaver they called him, spent time at the gym.
This bothered Trent. A certain depression came over him. Not for any jealousy he felt towards this new man. Trent just had never been able to prepare himself for a world that apparently could be yanked out from under him so quickly.
But Trent, a casual intellectual of sorts, maintained to find out what this new creature meant in his life. Was it fate, or destiny if you will, that propelled Trent to accept his place as a thing of beauty, though now not one superior? Or was he now given a choice, two paths departing with Trent free to decide which of those his life would take; a) sit back and accept his role, or b) take initiative to regain what once was bestowed upon him.
Trent reserved himself to a strict regimen. He ran in the morning. If it was too cold outside then an hour and a half on the treadmill at the gym. Lunch was restricted to a somber meal, low in carbohydrates, and high in seduction. After dinner it was a full workout, alternating upper or lower body every other day. It was a full time job.
Trent had made up his mind. Whether he had a choice or not, he no longer cared. What was important was that he now felt the choice was his and he was determined to see it through. Trent devoted his life to this one goal. A goal that was his to be had, and his alone. And that is how it has been ever since.
If you go to the gym these days, there is a likely chance you will see Trent amidst his routine. A once depressed figure, he has found recent purpose in this new life. But I do warn you, do not question the man. For what he does is personal, his actions an everyday reminder of what he is and now must become. But if you are so lucky to get close to him as you pass by him at the gym, keep your ears peeled. He does speak; it is rumored, though in soft whispers. And every time it is the same, so they say, a persistent mantra reminding himself always, “Craig Weaver, you think you have me now, but just you wait.”
As appears its marketing goal, the law school is made up of a diverse student body. With different ethnic backgrounds, lifestyles and eating habits the diversity here is quite evident. And I don’t think anyone would question that our creators plan, in his infinite wisdom, has failed by constructing such diversity not only in our school, but among the general population as well. But as consequence of doing so there are certain members of the society, and specifically here in our law school, who find themselves much more physically appealing and subject to more than the normal amount of attention given to the general public.
Although the majority of my time is spent looking at our female makeup here at the school, it would be childish for me to deny that I have not noticed our male population as well. My inquiry for today is a study into the makeup of some of the more appealing male members of our school.
As would be expected, I use myself as the general template for comparison. But unfortunately, as much as I would like to confirm that I am in fact the model of physical prowess amongst the three classes, I just don’t think my credibility could take that kind of backlash with such a claim.
My good friend and fellow 3L Will Fletcher does not hold the same self restraint. The self-proclaimed heartthrob does not doubt for a minute that he is amongst the top. I know Will lifts a lot of weights, giving him man pecks that would make any 13 year old girl jealous. But the fact is that one, Will is not tall enough; and two, although this should not matter in a vote such as this one, no one likes him and therefore he cannot be a favorite in any such vote.
No, my tale today focuses on a certain specimen, a one Trent Belnap, who found himself struggling with these such ideals. As it goes, Trent came onto the scene in 2005. The first year was easy for Trent. There were few who had the gall to question the brilliance this young man embodied. A modest stature of 6’3’’ topped off with a blond-haired, hazel-eyed face that seemed to be chiseled by the breath of angels on their way up to heaven, Trent was truly without equal.
And Trent relished his role. He knew his place. He was born a creature of beauty, and as such did relatively little to reinforce what his maker had so gratuitously bestowed upon him. Trent was happy to sit back and offer his welcome contentment from his modest perch, always off in the corner, never threatening or condescending, a soft reminder of what could be.
But a life at the top it was not to be. Unfortunately for Trent, when his second year came he ran into something he never expected.
Trent had never been so confused, a spectacle before his eyes he had never before witnessed. A passing of the torch it appeared, an event that Trent had never partaken in and as such was not and could never be prepared for.
The individual before him was truly one that seemed unspeakable. Whereas Trent had found comfort in the fact that his face could perform wonders among the masses, he was now faced with a prospect who was equal not only in complexion, but in physical stature as well. No, it was no secret this man, a Craig Weaver they called him, spent time at the gym.
This bothered Trent. A certain depression came over him. Not for any jealousy he felt towards this new man. Trent just had never been able to prepare himself for a world that apparently could be yanked out from under him so quickly.
But Trent, a casual intellectual of sorts, maintained to find out what this new creature meant in his life. Was it fate, or destiny if you will, that propelled Trent to accept his place as a thing of beauty, though now not one superior? Or was he now given a choice, two paths departing with Trent free to decide which of those his life would take; a) sit back and accept his role, or b) take initiative to regain what once was bestowed upon him.
Trent reserved himself to a strict regimen. He ran in the morning. If it was too cold outside then an hour and a half on the treadmill at the gym. Lunch was restricted to a somber meal, low in carbohydrates, and high in seduction. After dinner it was a full workout, alternating upper or lower body every other day. It was a full time job.
Trent had made up his mind. Whether he had a choice or not, he no longer cared. What was important was that he now felt the choice was his and he was determined to see it through. Trent devoted his life to this one goal. A goal that was his to be had, and his alone. And that is how it has been ever since.
If you go to the gym these days, there is a likely chance you will see Trent amidst his routine. A once depressed figure, he has found recent purpose in this new life. But I do warn you, do not question the man. For what he does is personal, his actions an everyday reminder of what he is and now must become. But if you are so lucky to get close to him as you pass by him at the gym, keep your ears peeled. He does speak; it is rumored, though in soft whispers. And every time it is the same, so they say, a persistent mantra reminding himself always, “Craig Weaver, you think you have me now, but just you wait.”
Employer’s responses to my applications
by Mike Witry
Dear Mr. Witry:
Thank you for submitting your application for employment. However, it appears that you have inadvertently failed to include the document or documents in which you explain how you are in any way qualified to work for our firm. If you find those documents, please feel free to re-submit your application.
Dear Mr. Witry:
The only reason we informed the University of Idaho College of Law of our available position is because we wanted to hire Kristi Wilson. No others need apply.
Dear Mr. Witry:
We are sorry to say that we do not offer positions to Gentiles. When Jesus makes His triumphant return to Missouri, we do not wish to be caught in the awkward position of trying to explain why one of our number is not among the Elect.
Dear Mr. Witry:
Thank you for applying for an associate position with our firm. The position has been filled by someone who is even less qualified than yourself, but I owed his dad a favor.
Dear Mr. Witry:
Our hiring partner doesn’t like you. I don’t like you either. You’d better watch yourself.
Dear Mr. Witry:
We are unable to offer you a position as an attorney at this time. However, you may qualify for several other open positions with our city, including Janitor I, Street Sweeper, and Part-Time Rec League T-Ball Coach. Please contact us to set up a time to interview for one of these positions.
Dear Mr. Witry:
Your resume is a litany of disappointment. We advise you to quit school now and spare yourself the mortification of eternal failure.
Dear Mr. Witry:
We apologize for a mistake in our most recent correspondence. We did not mean to say you should be hauling away garbage. We meant to say you should be hauled away as garbage.
Dear Mr. Witry:
Thank you for applying for employment. We cannot offer you a position at this time because we prefer our applicants to have more self-confidence.
*editor’s note: we doubt these are real.
Dear Mr. Witry:
Thank you for submitting your application for employment. However, it appears that you have inadvertently failed to include the document or documents in which you explain how you are in any way qualified to work for our firm. If you find those documents, please feel free to re-submit your application.
Dear Mr. Witry:
The only reason we informed the University of Idaho College of Law of our available position is because we wanted to hire Kristi Wilson. No others need apply.
Dear Mr. Witry:
We are sorry to say that we do not offer positions to Gentiles. When Jesus makes His triumphant return to Missouri, we do not wish to be caught in the awkward position of trying to explain why one of our number is not among the Elect.
Dear Mr. Witry:
Thank you for applying for an associate position with our firm. The position has been filled by someone who is even less qualified than yourself, but I owed his dad a favor.
Dear Mr. Witry:
Our hiring partner doesn’t like you. I don’t like you either. You’d better watch yourself.
Dear Mr. Witry:
We are unable to offer you a position as an attorney at this time. However, you may qualify for several other open positions with our city, including Janitor I, Street Sweeper, and Part-Time Rec League T-Ball Coach. Please contact us to set up a time to interview for one of these positions.
Dear Mr. Witry:
Your resume is a litany of disappointment. We advise you to quit school now and spare yourself the mortification of eternal failure.
Dear Mr. Witry:
We apologize for a mistake in our most recent correspondence. We did not mean to say you should be hauling away garbage. We meant to say you should be hauled away as garbage.
Dear Mr. Witry:
Thank you for applying for employment. We cannot offer you a position at this time because we prefer our applicants to have more self-confidence.
*editor’s note: we doubt these are real.
Death Should Be Hard to Watch
by Mark Coppin
On Monday the Supreme Court heard oral arguments in Blaze v. Rees. Just in case you haven’t been one of those uber geek law students who follows the SC like a 14 year old girl watching American Idol, the case is about lethal injection, and whether or not it is cruel and unusual punishment. In executions by lethal injection three drugs are administered to the condemned. The first is basically a pain killer, and it is supposed to drop the blood pressure, kill pain, and cause sleep. The second drug is a paralytic which, as its name suggests, causes paralysis in all the muscles except the heart. The third drug stops the heart. The potential problem arises when the first drug is administered incorrectly. Without the first drug, the second leaves the condemned paralyzed, awake, and completely capable of feeling the third drug rush in and stop the heart (which is apparently very painful).
The argument is about what standard should be applied to potential risks of future harm, who should supervise administration of the first drug, and the availability of alternative methods. It was all very interesting
The part that I found the MOST interesting was an exchange between Justice Stevens and Mr. Englert. Justice Stevens seemed to believe that the problem was not the first drug but the second (this is mentioned several times but this time caught my attention). If it weren’t for the second drug, there would be very little risk of an incorrect administration of the first drug going unnoticed. Without the paralytic it should be pretty easy to tell if the condemned has been effectively knocked out by the first drug because I am pretty sure you could test for feeling, and if the condemned isn’t paralyzed, then the reaction should be pretty apparent. Like fish on a stream bank apparent. Mr. Englert made the argument that the risk was justified because the second drug was necessary to maintain “the dignity of the process.” Not that the second drug was necessary to complete the execution, but only that, “You don’t want to have unpleasant appearance of death at the time.”
Which brings me to my point. The unpleasant appearance of death? Do juries think the person is going to “live on a farm” when the verdict is rendered? It’s not like death row is a tank in a dentist’s office and inmates gets to go back out to sea when they get flushed, kids. Who cares if the death has an unpleasant appearance? I’m not making an argument for or against the death penalty here, but I generally believe death = unpleasant. The idea that executions need to be “dignified” for the watcher is absurd.
Do you think the condemned really cares? Obviously they care if it is painful, but do they honestly care how uncomfortable the witnesses and the warden are? If it were up to me I’d want to go in the most messy and disgusting way possible. If you’re going to kill me you should have to get your hands and your psyche dirty. If you’re going to execute me, I want it to be painless for me, and Tarantino directing it on pay per view. Just saying.
On Monday the Supreme Court heard oral arguments in Blaze v. Rees. Just in case you haven’t been one of those uber geek law students who follows the SC like a 14 year old girl watching American Idol, the case is about lethal injection, and whether or not it is cruel and unusual punishment. In executions by lethal injection three drugs are administered to the condemned. The first is basically a pain killer, and it is supposed to drop the blood pressure, kill pain, and cause sleep. The second drug is a paralytic which, as its name suggests, causes paralysis in all the muscles except the heart. The third drug stops the heart. The potential problem arises when the first drug is administered incorrectly. Without the first drug, the second leaves the condemned paralyzed, awake, and completely capable of feeling the third drug rush in and stop the heart (which is apparently very painful).
The argument is about what standard should be applied to potential risks of future harm, who should supervise administration of the first drug, and the availability of alternative methods. It was all very interesting
The part that I found the MOST interesting was an exchange between Justice Stevens and Mr. Englert. Justice Stevens seemed to believe that the problem was not the first drug but the second (this is mentioned several times but this time caught my attention). If it weren’t for the second drug, there would be very little risk of an incorrect administration of the first drug going unnoticed. Without the paralytic it should be pretty easy to tell if the condemned has been effectively knocked out by the first drug because I am pretty sure you could test for feeling, and if the condemned isn’t paralyzed, then the reaction should be pretty apparent. Like fish on a stream bank apparent. Mr. Englert made the argument that the risk was justified because the second drug was necessary to maintain “the dignity of the process.” Not that the second drug was necessary to complete the execution, but only that, “You don’t want to have unpleasant appearance of death at the time.”
Which brings me to my point. The unpleasant appearance of death? Do juries think the person is going to “live on a farm” when the verdict is rendered? It’s not like death row is a tank in a dentist’s office and inmates gets to go back out to sea when they get flushed, kids. Who cares if the death has an unpleasant appearance? I’m not making an argument for or against the death penalty here, but I generally believe death = unpleasant. The idea that executions need to be “dignified” for the watcher is absurd.
Do you think the condemned really cares? Obviously they care if it is painful, but do they honestly care how uncomfortable the witnesses and the warden are? If it were up to me I’d want to go in the most messy and disgusting way possible. If you’re going to kill me you should have to get your hands and your psyche dirty. If you’re going to execute me, I want it to be painless for me, and Tarantino directing it on pay per view. Just saying.
Dear RJ
Dear RJ
Are you now or have you ever been a member of the Communist Party or any organization dedicated to the over throw of the democratically elected government of the United States of America? Who are your employers, have you been convicted of or arrested for anything, where have you lived for the last ten years, can you prove you were born in this country, what were you doing in Guatemala that time, can you name 8 people who aren’t related to you or who didn’t go to law school with you who are willing to say that you won’t bring shame to the legal profession, was that girl in Waikiki, did you pay full price for all of the music in your iTunes library, when was your last prostate exam, are you dating anyone, and did you enclose your check for $415?
Bullshit Asinine Requirements
Dear BAR
There’s no place that I’d rather be than right here with my white socks, red necks, and blue ribbon beer.
Dear RJ,
I was downstairs the other day and I noticed that there might be a crack or two in the building’s foundation. I was thinking of having it checked out so I could make sure everything is ok but I thought maybe I should sound the alarm to the whole student body so that everyone can panic. Oh... and I figured I’d lock the doors and trap them inside while I investigate. Because if the whole building is going to fall on our heads in a week we’re MUCH better off spending the next four days in a constant state of uncertainty.
Student Caring About Recent Educational Decisions
Dear SCARED,
I have to assume you are using sarcasm to refer obliquely to the exam situation, the grades situation, the construction situation, the move or not to move or sort of but not really move but just be both places at once situation, the parking situation, and…well it goes on, and if I was a 1L, I might make some half-hearted joke about the administration’s liability under a suit for the intentional infliction of emotional distress, (Mental note. Ask Monique Lillard about the requirements of/for that. I could use some cash to study for the bar) but I am sure that there is a committee discussing the decision to form a committee to discuss the possibility that there might be a problem with, well, it seems like damn near everything lately, and that if there is, the forming of a committee to define the problems, how best to ignore them, and how many students should be on the committee. So, you see, it’s all under control and you have nothing to worry about. At least if you’re graduating this year - except getting that letter that explains how Idaho grades harder than other Law Schools to show potential employers. Or if you aren’t graduating, you might consider worrying about what classes are going to be offered, how you aren’t going to be able to get into them, how they conflict with other classes, if the electronics are ever going to get into 104, if you are ever going to see the inside of the courtroom again, which Professor is going to bail out or retire next, what it is going to cost you to move to Boise part way through Law School, what’s going to go wrong with examsoft next, whether you’re going to have to re-take another final through no fault of your own, whether you are going to be misled about what or how to study, how you’re…uh, Jeez. It does sound pretty bad, doesn’t it? Do you just want to give me a call, and we can go get a drink later and commiserate?
Dear RJ,
I know you have addressed it before, but what in the name of all that is good and holy is the deal with the roads in this burg in the winter time?
Student Looking at Ice Debacle
Dear SLID
What do you mean? You have collision insurance right? Drive more carefully. There is no reason to do more than polish the roads to a fine icy glaze. If they took care of the road by removing all of the obvious ice and snow, black ice might occur, and you wouldn’t know they were slippery and you wouldn’t drive as carefully. Icy shitty roads are for your own good. Since you drive a ’55 Studebaker, salting the road might cause your car to rust. Modern vehicles don’t have rust resistant panels and paint and undercoating, and a certain amount of plastic instead of pressed iron and steel do they? The sound of chains on the road is very soothing.
Dear RJ,
Where are you going to take the Bar exam? Did you look at that email I had your step-mother send you about the house for sale in Texas? Who are you staying with after you graduate? Graduation is the 11th right? You still have a place for us to stay? What are you going to do with your life? I found an ad for a professional bodyguard/mercenary company in Houston, you’re going to be bored as a lawyer.
Devoted and Dear
Dear DAD,
The Texas Bar…I am going to drive to Texas, get drunk twice, and then start studying for the Bar exam. For the love of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, that’s all I know, but could you have Sharon send me the link for that job in Houston?
Dear RJ,
What did you do over break?
Person at Lawschool
Dear PAL
I spent a week in New York City, linked up with some old friends from college, and see above question and answer. See above question and answer. See above question and answer.
Are you now or have you ever been a member of the Communist Party or any organization dedicated to the over throw of the democratically elected government of the United States of America? Who are your employers, have you been convicted of or arrested for anything, where have you lived for the last ten years, can you prove you were born in this country, what were you doing in Guatemala that time, can you name 8 people who aren’t related to you or who didn’t go to law school with you who are willing to say that you won’t bring shame to the legal profession, was that girl in Waikiki, did you pay full price for all of the music in your iTunes library, when was your last prostate exam, are you dating anyone, and did you enclose your check for $415?
Bullshit Asinine Requirements
Dear BAR
There’s no place that I’d rather be than right here with my white socks, red necks, and blue ribbon beer.
Dear RJ,
I was downstairs the other day and I noticed that there might be a crack or two in the building’s foundation. I was thinking of having it checked out so I could make sure everything is ok but I thought maybe I should sound the alarm to the whole student body so that everyone can panic. Oh... and I figured I’d lock the doors and trap them inside while I investigate. Because if the whole building is going to fall on our heads in a week we’re MUCH better off spending the next four days in a constant state of uncertainty.
Student Caring About Recent Educational Decisions
Dear SCARED,
I have to assume you are using sarcasm to refer obliquely to the exam situation, the grades situation, the construction situation, the move or not to move or sort of but not really move but just be both places at once situation, the parking situation, and…well it goes on, and if I was a 1L, I might make some half-hearted joke about the administration’s liability under a suit for the intentional infliction of emotional distress, (Mental note. Ask Monique Lillard about the requirements of/for that. I could use some cash to study for the bar) but I am sure that there is a committee discussing the decision to form a committee to discuss the possibility that there might be a problem with, well, it seems like damn near everything lately, and that if there is, the forming of a committee to define the problems, how best to ignore them, and how many students should be on the committee. So, you see, it’s all under control and you have nothing to worry about. At least if you’re graduating this year - except getting that letter that explains how Idaho grades harder than other Law Schools to show potential employers. Or if you aren’t graduating, you might consider worrying about what classes are going to be offered, how you aren’t going to be able to get into them, how they conflict with other classes, if the electronics are ever going to get into 104, if you are ever going to see the inside of the courtroom again, which Professor is going to bail out or retire next, what it is going to cost you to move to Boise part way through Law School, what’s going to go wrong with examsoft next, whether you’re going to have to re-take another final through no fault of your own, whether you are going to be misled about what or how to study, how you’re…uh, Jeez. It does sound pretty bad, doesn’t it? Do you just want to give me a call, and we can go get a drink later and commiserate?
Dear RJ,
I know you have addressed it before, but what in the name of all that is good and holy is the deal with the roads in this burg in the winter time?
Student Looking at Ice Debacle
Dear SLID
What do you mean? You have collision insurance right? Drive more carefully. There is no reason to do more than polish the roads to a fine icy glaze. If they took care of the road by removing all of the obvious ice and snow, black ice might occur, and you wouldn’t know they were slippery and you wouldn’t drive as carefully. Icy shitty roads are for your own good. Since you drive a ’55 Studebaker, salting the road might cause your car to rust. Modern vehicles don’t have rust resistant panels and paint and undercoating, and a certain amount of plastic instead of pressed iron and steel do they? The sound of chains on the road is very soothing.
Dear RJ,
Where are you going to take the Bar exam? Did you look at that email I had your step-mother send you about the house for sale in Texas? Who are you staying with after you graduate? Graduation is the 11th right? You still have a place for us to stay? What are you going to do with your life? I found an ad for a professional bodyguard/mercenary company in Houston, you’re going to be bored as a lawyer.
Devoted and Dear
Dear DAD,
The Texas Bar…I am going to drive to Texas, get drunk twice, and then start studying for the Bar exam. For the love of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, that’s all I know, but could you have Sharon send me the link for that job in Houston?
Dear RJ,
What did you do over break?
Person at Lawschool
Dear PAL
I spent a week in New York City, linked up with some old friends from college, and see above question and answer. See above question and answer. See above question and answer.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
