Wednesday, November 7, 2007
Zombies not the cause of noise in Room 104
by Lacey Rammell-O’Brien
There I was, diligently transcribing Professor Anderson’s study visuals from the board onto my laptop screen (what does “circle circle circle, A, LC, arrow” stand for again?), lulled into trance-like contemplation by the denim-colored stripes of Anderson’s new shirt and black suspenders when suddenly the intricacies of MBCA § 6.40 were drowned out by some kind of loud, low droning.
Since it was Halloween, my first thought went to zombies. But zombies don’t exist, I reminded myself.
What about those 1L’s? They’ve had that vacant, zombie-like stare lately. And I’m pretty sure I heard a small group of them saying “BRAAAAIN! BRAAAIN!” the other day. That’s pretty common 1L behavior. Then again, they could also have been saying “BRIAAAAN! BRIAAAAN!” Buckham’s name over and over in an attempt to absorb the entire outline through meditation.
With zombies having been ruled out, what could all the fuss next door possibly be?
The noise, the bipolar temperatures, the new dance floor in the hallway...suddenly it all came together. The law school is under construction! But why? What could have caused this strangely timed venture into renovation land? To what deviant cause could I blame… er, attribute this disruption to my legal education?
Only the most logical source.
Eric Haley, I am calling you out. This construction project is completely and entirely your fault. I always knew that your “creativity” and “sense of humor” and “incredibly chiseled features” would get all of us into trouble one day. I am, of course, referring to your Inter Alia article from last winter.
You thought that we’d forgotten about that little article, didn’t you? Or maybe you were just hoping that we had. Listen, just because I have the attention span of an A.D.D. Chihuahua doesn’t mean that you can pull a fast one and expect me not to notice the connection. You went too far, Haley.
Nobody, not NOBODY, makes fun of Dean Burnett’s overhead projectors and Dean Seamon’s horse and buggy. You knew full well that Burnett’s grandfather had bartered five bushels of lentils at the Farmer’s Market for each and every one of those overhead projectors.
You overstepped your bounds, and now the administration is exacting their revenge. Thanks a lot, funny man.
Sure, Seamon tries to cover up the conspiracy by promising to tell the construction workers to “pipe” down while they place pipe in 104. No man uses puns that bad unintentionally. Now he’s just toying with us.
So let this construction serve as a warning for all of you so-called potential “humor” writers… don’t target the technology in the law school unless you’re willing to have all of us pay the price.
And someone please give the 1L’s some fresh Buckham outlines before they start searching for fresh brains.
There I was, diligently transcribing Professor Anderson’s study visuals from the board onto my laptop screen (what does “circle circle circle, A, LC, arrow” stand for again?), lulled into trance-like contemplation by the denim-colored stripes of Anderson’s new shirt and black suspenders when suddenly the intricacies of MBCA § 6.40 were drowned out by some kind of loud, low droning.
Since it was Halloween, my first thought went to zombies. But zombies don’t exist, I reminded myself.
What about those 1L’s? They’ve had that vacant, zombie-like stare lately. And I’m pretty sure I heard a small group of them saying “BRAAAAIN! BRAAAIN!” the other day. That’s pretty common 1L behavior. Then again, they could also have been saying “BRIAAAAN! BRIAAAAN!” Buckham’s name over and over in an attempt to absorb the entire outline through meditation.
With zombies having been ruled out, what could all the fuss next door possibly be?
The noise, the bipolar temperatures, the new dance floor in the hallway...suddenly it all came together. The law school is under construction! But why? What could have caused this strangely timed venture into renovation land? To what deviant cause could I blame… er, attribute this disruption to my legal education?
Only the most logical source.
Eric Haley, I am calling you out. This construction project is completely and entirely your fault. I always knew that your “creativity” and “sense of humor” and “incredibly chiseled features” would get all of us into trouble one day. I am, of course, referring to your Inter Alia article from last winter.
You thought that we’d forgotten about that little article, didn’t you? Or maybe you were just hoping that we had. Listen, just because I have the attention span of an A.D.D. Chihuahua doesn’t mean that you can pull a fast one and expect me not to notice the connection. You went too far, Haley.
Nobody, not NOBODY, makes fun of Dean Burnett’s overhead projectors and Dean Seamon’s horse and buggy. You knew full well that Burnett’s grandfather had bartered five bushels of lentils at the Farmer’s Market for each and every one of those overhead projectors.
You overstepped your bounds, and now the administration is exacting their revenge. Thanks a lot, funny man.
Sure, Seamon tries to cover up the conspiracy by promising to tell the construction workers to “pipe” down while they place pipe in 104. No man uses puns that bad unintentionally. Now he’s just toying with us.
So let this construction serve as a warning for all of you so-called potential “humor” writers… don’t target the technology in the law school unless you’re willing to have all of us pay the price.
And someone please give the 1L’s some fresh Buckham outlines before they start searching for fresh brains.
Heard Around the Law School
compiled by R.J. Linnan
• Kurdish Turds
• I lost to a guy in a blow-up bull.
• An all access pass to back door land
• My mens rea was broken on Saturday
• I swear to God, if you dutch oven me, I’ll kick you in the nuts.
• Neal answered it better than I could
• How was it? Tippy.
• She’s not even hot anymore. Yeah, now I just want her to put her underwear ON.
• Jesus, big deal. EVEN PETE could kick his ass.
• WAIT! It was black?!?!?
• I thought that if I just sprinted in mid-air I would hit the ground running. I was wrong.
• Assholes gave me a headache today. Hopefully you have just one asshole. I do, silly. Then you don’t have to worry about the other ones.
• Is there a way that I can make all Hasko, kudos, book giveaway, and ‘The Crit’ emails go straight to junk? What the hell is ‘The Crit’ anyway and how did it get my email address?
• Have the courtesy to at least PRETEND that what you’re doing has something to do with class
• Kurdish Turds
• I lost to a guy in a blow-up bull.
• An all access pass to back door land
• My mens rea was broken on Saturday
• I swear to God, if you dutch oven me, I’ll kick you in the nuts.
• Neal answered it better than I could
• How was it? Tippy.
• She’s not even hot anymore. Yeah, now I just want her to put her underwear ON.
• Jesus, big deal. EVEN PETE could kick his ass.
• WAIT! It was black?!?!?
• I thought that if I just sprinted in mid-air I would hit the ground running. I was wrong.
• Assholes gave me a headache today. Hopefully you have just one asshole. I do, silly. Then you don’t have to worry about the other ones.
• Is there a way that I can make all Hasko, kudos, book giveaway, and ‘The Crit’ emails go straight to junk? What the hell is ‘The Crit’ anyway and how did it get my email address?
• Have the courtesy to at least PRETEND that what you’re doing has something to do with class
Why move to Boise? We have night-school here!
by Jordan Taylor
Silly of me to think my law school schedule would in any way resemble my old 8-5 work schedule. Also silly of me – registering for Professional Responsibility after 7:08 PM this Monday. Obviously that was way too late to get into §2. Those 2L’s....registering for Spring classes within 5 minutes of opening is obviously much more important than attending Fall classes....
What irks me the most about Spring 2008?
The 6 hour gap between Con II and Evidence? There is only so much web to surf between classes. Staying at school until 8 PM on Fridays? Don’t they know its ski season ! 104’s continued hiatus? I’m beginning to wonder if that inane Westlaw training will be my only experience in that room.
It looks like the transition to night school is coming sooner than we think.
Silly of me to think my law school schedule would in any way resemble my old 8-5 work schedule. Also silly of me – registering for Professional Responsibility after 7:08 PM this Monday. Obviously that was way too late to get into §2. Those 2L’s....registering for Spring classes within 5 minutes of opening is obviously much more important than attending Fall classes....
What irks me the most about Spring 2008?
The 6 hour gap between Con II and Evidence? There is only so much web to surf between classes. Staying at school until 8 PM on Fridays? Don’t they know its ski season ! 104’s continued hiatus? I’m beginning to wonder if that inane Westlaw training will be my only experience in that room.
It looks like the transition to night school is coming sooner than we think.
Ask RJ
Dear RJ,
My friends and I have submitted answers to last week’s quiz but have not heard who won the dinner at RJ & Josh’s house.
Man About Really Knowing
Dear MARK,
As you know, according to the University of Idaho, College of Law Honor Code students must refrain from or report any act of false statement, breach of trust, or interference with property, so I am certain that Mr. Fletcher will be in contact with the editors of interalia and me to arrange for payment of the prize for one of the winners. Mr. Fletcher will undoubtedly be purchasing groceries for the dinner that he offered as a prize in advertising the contest. We will keep you posted.
Dear RJ,
Why did the rear entrance to the law school sound like the world’s larges vibrator this week?
Bothered by Loud Obnoxious Wackiness
Dear BLOW
I heard that they are converting the courtroom into something… better. That’s all I know.
Dear RJ,
Why are you so mean and sarcastic?
Student
Advocating Pleasantries
Dear SAP
I am a former romantic; jaded disillusioned, and lacking faith in human nature. And I don’t like you.
Dear RJ,
I need some serious advice. Lately, I have been getting the feeling that people are talking about me. I don’t get this feeling because people approach me themselves or because I overhear them in the hallways. Sadly RJ, I get this feeling because people we go to school with are assholes. Maybe (and this is what I need help with) they are just bored. And maybe they know me better than I know myself and feel like it isn’t necessary to ask me things that are none of their business. And THAT is why they like to have group discussions about my life and what I am doing. What do you think? I suppose it could be because they think I am so interesting. Or it could be that those people really like “The Hills” and long to bring some of that jerkstore drama into their own backyards. Or it could be that it is much easier to discuss my life amongst themselves than to talk to me about it in person. Lately I have come to realize that if we learn anything at all in law school, is that it’s better to speculate and rely on hearsay than it is to get solid evidence from the source. RJ, what should I do?
Her Every Single Trait Examined
Regularly
Dear HESTER,
First of all, don’t feel like Tigger, cause you’re not the only one. There are several people around that law school about whom others feel it necessary to postulate, speculate, defenestrate, obfuscate, communicate, equivocate, fantasticate, implicate, prognosticate (occasionally) advocate, and fornicate. Another problem is that it isn’t just the students doing all of this complicating, there are those on the faculty and staff who sometimes feel it necessary to jump on the bandwagon. There is at least one person in each class who is suffering the slings and arrows of the viperous, lecherous, and jealous. Let’s face it, the simple truth of the matter is that there isn’t much to be done for it except to carry yourself with dignity, and take the opportunity to look people in the eye whenever you can. And smile. If you’re looking them in the eye and smiling, they won’t see me bending down behind them so you can push them down. In a heap. Crying.
Dear RJ
Why is it that Professors can force you to go to class simply so they can spout off their personal political agendas?
Student Tired, Unconvinced Of Diehard Rhetoric
Dear STUDOR
We, as people, tend to surround ourselves with other people who agree with us, so without a professor spouting opinions that were completely foreign to everyone but Mike French, how would you know that those opinions were even out there? Law school is all about being exposed to other people’s opinions, and then doing your best to prove them wrong.
Dear RJ,
The ACLU does suck, so what’s the big deal?
A Serious Student
Dear ASS,
The problem isn’t the ACLU, it’s their advertising and reputation. Clearly to appeal to someone like you, they shouldn’t focus on their work in minority rights, for women’s rights, voting rights, reproductive freedom, or gay rights. Perhaps if you knew that they also worked to defend the right to keep and bear arms, freedom of and from religion, free speech (even of Supremacists, and protestors), and the mentally disabled, you would feel differently. Maybe if you were told the organization was dedicated to EVERYONE’S civil liberties, regardless of their political background or views you would feel differently. Or maybe if you knew that they were working to defend someone like Larry Craig, a man who is anti gay rights, Canadian lumber, and taxes, and pro agriculture, dams, and guns you’d realize that it isn’t just a liberal organization. Or maybe you’re just a douchebag.
My friends and I have submitted answers to last week’s quiz but have not heard who won the dinner at RJ & Josh’s house.
Man About Really Knowing
Dear MARK,
As you know, according to the University of Idaho, College of Law Honor Code students must refrain from or report any act of false statement, breach of trust, or interference with property, so I am certain that Mr. Fletcher will be in contact with the editors of interalia and me to arrange for payment of the prize for one of the winners. Mr. Fletcher will undoubtedly be purchasing groceries for the dinner that he offered as a prize in advertising the contest. We will keep you posted.
Dear RJ,
Why did the rear entrance to the law school sound like the world’s larges vibrator this week?
Bothered by Loud Obnoxious Wackiness
Dear BLOW
I heard that they are converting the courtroom into something… better. That’s all I know.
Dear RJ,
Why are you so mean and sarcastic?
Student
Advocating Pleasantries
Dear SAP
I am a former romantic; jaded disillusioned, and lacking faith in human nature. And I don’t like you.
Dear RJ,
I need some serious advice. Lately, I have been getting the feeling that people are talking about me. I don’t get this feeling because people approach me themselves or because I overhear them in the hallways. Sadly RJ, I get this feeling because people we go to school with are assholes. Maybe (and this is what I need help with) they are just bored. And maybe they know me better than I know myself and feel like it isn’t necessary to ask me things that are none of their business. And THAT is why they like to have group discussions about my life and what I am doing. What do you think? I suppose it could be because they think I am so interesting. Or it could be that those people really like “The Hills” and long to bring some of that jerkstore drama into their own backyards. Or it could be that it is much easier to discuss my life amongst themselves than to talk to me about it in person. Lately I have come to realize that if we learn anything at all in law school, is that it’s better to speculate and rely on hearsay than it is to get solid evidence from the source. RJ, what should I do?
Her Every Single Trait Examined
Regularly
Dear HESTER,
First of all, don’t feel like Tigger, cause you’re not the only one. There are several people around that law school about whom others feel it necessary to postulate, speculate, defenestrate, obfuscate, communicate, equivocate, fantasticate, implicate, prognosticate (occasionally) advocate, and fornicate. Another problem is that it isn’t just the students doing all of this complicating, there are those on the faculty and staff who sometimes feel it necessary to jump on the bandwagon. There is at least one person in each class who is suffering the slings and arrows of the viperous, lecherous, and jealous. Let’s face it, the simple truth of the matter is that there isn’t much to be done for it except to carry yourself with dignity, and take the opportunity to look people in the eye whenever you can. And smile. If you’re looking them in the eye and smiling, they won’t see me bending down behind them so you can push them down. In a heap. Crying.
Dear RJ
Why is it that Professors can force you to go to class simply so they can spout off their personal political agendas?
Student Tired, Unconvinced Of Diehard Rhetoric
Dear STUDOR
We, as people, tend to surround ourselves with other people who agree with us, so without a professor spouting opinions that were completely foreign to everyone but Mike French, how would you know that those opinions were even out there? Law school is all about being exposed to other people’s opinions, and then doing your best to prove them wrong.
Dear RJ,
The ACLU does suck, so what’s the big deal?
A Serious Student
Dear ASS,
The problem isn’t the ACLU, it’s their advertising and reputation. Clearly to appeal to someone like you, they shouldn’t focus on their work in minority rights, for women’s rights, voting rights, reproductive freedom, or gay rights. Perhaps if you knew that they also worked to defend the right to keep and bear arms, freedom of and from religion, free speech (even of Supremacists, and protestors), and the mentally disabled, you would feel differently. Maybe if you were told the organization was dedicated to EVERYONE’S civil liberties, regardless of their political background or views you would feel differently. Or maybe if you knew that they were working to defend someone like Larry Craig, a man who is anti gay rights, Canadian lumber, and taxes, and pro agriculture, dams, and guns you’d realize that it isn’t just a liberal organization. Or maybe you’re just a douchebag.
Stepping Out: Professor Dumbledore denies allegations that he is gay, loves witch
by Josh Studor
by Josh Studor
“I am not gay. I never have been gay. I love my students and my life’s work teaching at Hogwart’s School for Witchcraft and Wizardry,” Headmaster Albus Dumbledore, 126, told reporters last week.
“It is simply outrageous to imply that my friendship with Gellert Grindelwald was anything more than a healthy, non-sexual, relationship between two wizards.”
Dumbledore’s comments came after author J.K. Rowling outed the acclaimed wizard at a Carnegie Hall lecture in late October of this year. At the lecture, a young Harry Potter fan asked Rowling if Dumbledore had ever been in love.
“My truthful answer to you,” she replied, “I always thought of Dumbledore as gay.” She then went on to say that Dumbledore was blinded to the evil nature of Grindelwald because he had fallen in love with the dark wizard.
“The allegations are simply outrageous,” Dumbledore said at a London press conference held days after Rowling’s comments.
Dumbledore has already scheduled an hour-long interview with Rita Skeeter on the muggle TV program 60-Minutes. Reports indicate that he will bring someone who Dumbledore calls his real true love – a witch who lives in Chicago with her three children from a different wizard.
It appears as though Dumbledore’s political and professional life could be over soon. Calls for his resignation from the Wizengamot came in almost immediately and he has already lost is position as chair of the International Confederation of Wizards. The loudest voice came from self-proclaimed protector of the morals and decency, Dolores Umbridge.
“Won’t somebody please think of the children,” she cried out from the Wizengamot floor.
Rowling’s statements are not the first alluding to Dumbledore alternative sexuality.
Rumors of Dumbledore’s proclivities erupted following the now infamous Prefect scandal of the 1980s. In 1984, former defense against the dark arts professor Amycus Carrow resigned after it was revealed that he had been involved with the male prefects from Slytherin House. In the midst of the controversy, Dumbledore, who had not been accused at the time, held a press conference denying any involvement.
“Its a, ‘Bad boy, Mr. Carrow. You’re a naughty boy,’” Dumbledore said. “I’m going to speak out for the students of my house, who in the majority think that Amycus Carrow is probably even a nasty, bad, naughty boy.”
An independent investigation by the Ministry of Magic’s top Aurors absolved Dumbledore of wrong doing but the rumors that Dumbledore had been involved never truly subsided.
Just last year, the interview of an anonymous source published in the Quibbler alleged that Dumbledore had met up with men in a variety of muggle bathrooms. The source went on to say that nothing ever happened because the men would see the 100-year-old wizard’s foot tapping under the stall wall and say, “Nu uh grandpa. You look nothing like your picture on Craigslist.”
Last summer, The Daily Profit published a series of articles about all the rumors but came to no conclusion. However, one particular charge that Dumbledore “cruised” a man at a broom store in London in 1994 prompted a direct response:
“I’ve been in this business more than 50 years in the public eye here,” Dumbledore said, “I don’t go around anywhere hitting on wizards, and by God, if I did, I wouldn’t do it in Diagon Alley! Jiminy.”
The current allegations have lead to wide-spread speculation. One of the most common beliefs is that Dumbledore spurned He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named while he was a student at Hogwarts. This, speculators say, is why He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named hates Dumbledore so much.
“It would explain a lot,” Professor Minerva McGonagall said. “Back in the ‘60s, when Voldemort was at Hogwarts, he had many older male friends who other students avoided. I caught him lurking around outside the headmaster’s office several times. I always just assumed he was plotting to kill the professor.”
He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named refused to comment, but cursed Dumbledore for being incapable of love.
Dumbledore’s outing has also prompted conjecture as to other individuals with whom Dumbledore associated – most notably regarding The Boy Who Lived.
“That Potter boy and him had something going on; that’s for sure,” Lucius Malfoy said while peeking through the door of Severus Snape’s private quarters. “I mean, how else did a half-blood get to be Dumbledore’s favorite?”
As of the time of publication, Harry Potter had not returned this reporter’s owls.
IMAX prompts law school’s move to Boise
by Eric Haley
If you aren’t aware, the law school is about to get a little face lift called Boise. Details are still being worked out and the law school, to some extent, will maintain a Moscow campus but the writing is on the wall, Boise is about to get “Vandalized.”
Dean Seamon sat down with Inter Alia and explained:
The move to Boise is a touchy subject but we have to face the facts, Moscow is never going to get an IMAX theater. The faculty took the annual road trip to Boise this summer and numero uno on the itinerary was Transformers at the IMAX and it did not disappoint.”
However, it did raise questions about the future of the law school. More then once, Professor MacDonald was shooshed for asking “Are you seeing this? Can somebody explain to me why we are in Moscow? Look at the size of that robot! Seriously, anybody, why are we in Moscow when the IMAX is here in Boise, who decides?”
Sure, it was unsettling, but Seamon was determined to exercise caution in the face of the beautiful cinematic experience.
“You can’t just uproot a law school because of a theater……or can you?” he asked
The van ride to Applebee’s was somber to say the least. Professor ONeal tried to lighten the mood with a sarcastic quip, “Hey, what about that preview for the Bee Movie? We can all get together at my place to watch it on the 36 inch flat screen… sigh …when it comes out on DVD.”
Seamon said he was still holding out hope at that point that everyone was just hungry and a Riblet basket would soothe the ache to move to Boise. When they reached Applebee’s, everyone piled out of the van except one fuming individual.
Seamon asked Professor Goble if he wanted to join us for the “Spa for the tastebuds” that is Applebee’s but he gave him a look that made Nietzsche look like Paddington Bear.
“Any hoo, we got our table and the atmosphere was AMAZING!” Seamon said. “A look to the left introduced a happy family laughing as junior dropped his Wingy-ding in his lap, a look to the right would get you a rowdy group of blue-collar workers toasting their beers ‘To Applebees!,’ I tell ya, it was just like the commercials!”
But then the good times were shattered by a tornado of white beard and lockes. Professor Goble stormed the table with a pop quiz.
“Do not turn this over until I say so, you have 20 seconds to finish,” he bellowed.
“For God Sakes, man, how can you do this?!” cried out Dean Brandt.
“This town has a Chilis!” he replied and left the table in the same hurried fashion shaking his head in disappointment and stopping only at the entrance to shout “BEGIN!”
The group flipped the quiz over, and to everyone’s horror, there was only one question: 1. Moscow, WHY? : ( (answer must be 10 words exactly with no words breaching 7 letters).
That was the straw that broke the camel’s back. The group of Applebees goers all looked up, sharing a moment of realization that gives the soul goosebumps.
Finally, Professor Beard spoke up with the shot heard round the state, “Dean, you know it, I know it. Hell junior over yonder with his sloppy-ass wingy ding stained pants knows it. If Idaho Law is going to grow, and by grow I mean be close to the IMAX and anything not Applebees, we have to move the campus to Boise.”
The table went silent until a small, chipper voice broke in:
“Hi my name is Candice, I will be your server, can I start anyone off with some drinks?”
“No thanks Candice, we have a law school to move,” said Professor Anderson. “Ummm… how do you get to Chili’s? Or heck, why not live a little, what about Fridays? T.G.I. Fridays that is.”
If you aren’t aware, the law school is about to get a little face lift called Boise. Details are still being worked out and the law school, to some extent, will maintain a Moscow campus but the writing is on the wall, Boise is about to get “Vandalized.”
Dean Seamon sat down with Inter Alia and explained:
The move to Boise is a touchy subject but we have to face the facts, Moscow is never going to get an IMAX theater. The faculty took the annual road trip to Boise this summer and numero uno on the itinerary was Transformers at the IMAX and it did not disappoint.”
However, it did raise questions about the future of the law school. More then once, Professor MacDonald was shooshed for asking “Are you seeing this? Can somebody explain to me why we are in Moscow? Look at the size of that robot! Seriously, anybody, why are we in Moscow when the IMAX is here in Boise, who decides?”
Sure, it was unsettling, but Seamon was determined to exercise caution in the face of the beautiful cinematic experience.
“You can’t just uproot a law school because of a theater……or can you?” he asked
The van ride to Applebee’s was somber to say the least. Professor ONeal tried to lighten the mood with a sarcastic quip, “Hey, what about that preview for the Bee Movie? We can all get together at my place to watch it on the 36 inch flat screen… sigh …when it comes out on DVD.”
Seamon said he was still holding out hope at that point that everyone was just hungry and a Riblet basket would soothe the ache to move to Boise. When they reached Applebee’s, everyone piled out of the van except one fuming individual.
Seamon asked Professor Goble if he wanted to join us for the “Spa for the tastebuds” that is Applebee’s but he gave him a look that made Nietzsche look like Paddington Bear.
“Any hoo, we got our table and the atmosphere was AMAZING!” Seamon said. “A look to the left introduced a happy family laughing as junior dropped his Wingy-ding in his lap, a look to the right would get you a rowdy group of blue-collar workers toasting their beers ‘To Applebees!,’ I tell ya, it was just like the commercials!”
But then the good times were shattered by a tornado of white beard and lockes. Professor Goble stormed the table with a pop quiz.
“Do not turn this over until I say so, you have 20 seconds to finish,” he bellowed.
“For God Sakes, man, how can you do this?!” cried out Dean Brandt.
“This town has a Chilis!” he replied and left the table in the same hurried fashion shaking his head in disappointment and stopping only at the entrance to shout “BEGIN!”
The group flipped the quiz over, and to everyone’s horror, there was only one question: 1. Moscow, WHY? : ( (answer must be 10 words exactly with no words breaching 7 letters).
That was the straw that broke the camel’s back. The group of Applebees goers all looked up, sharing a moment of realization that gives the soul goosebumps.
Finally, Professor Beard spoke up with the shot heard round the state, “Dean, you know it, I know it. Hell junior over yonder with his sloppy-ass wingy ding stained pants knows it. If Idaho Law is going to grow, and by grow I mean be close to the IMAX and anything not Applebees, we have to move the campus to Boise.”
The table went silent until a small, chipper voice broke in:
“Hi my name is Candice, I will be your server, can I start anyone off with some drinks?”
“No thanks Candice, we have a law school to move,” said Professor Anderson. “Ummm… how do you get to Chili’s? Or heck, why not live a little, what about Fridays? T.G.I. Fridays that is.”
LARPs confused, disappointed by recent LRAP presentation
by Jordan Taylor
A handful of students met certain disappointment at the recent PILG presentation on Loan Repayment Assistance Programs. Apparently, some students thought they were attending a presentation on LARP (Live Action Role Playing). Instead the presentation was on LRAP (Loan Repayment Assistance Programs). It is uncertain if the mistake was due to a misprint or a misreading of signs and emails.
“I knew some people were confused when I saw a few students wearing medieval body armor and elf ears at the meeting,” said PILG President Jordan Taylor. “I want to be perfectly clear, PILG in no way supports or endorses Live Action Role Playing by anybody over the age of 12. Frankly, these people should be ashamed of themselves.”
There was audible disappointment in the room when the handful of LARPs realized the mistake. A few left immediately, battle axes in hand. Others, obviously embarrassed, tried to “pretend” they actually intended to attend the presentation on Loan Forgiveness.
Dan Davenport, director of financial aid, was also confused. He opened the presentation by wondering aloud, “What are all these dorks doing here?”
Eric Haley was among the disappointed LARPs. “When I walked in to the meeting, I was like ‘Wow, no way there are so many LARPs in the law school.’ Turns out I was right.”
“We are going to do everything we can to make sure this doesn’t happen again,” said Taylor, “I think an SBA resolution banning Live Action Role Playing, and expelling participants from the College of Law, would be a good start.”
A handful of students met certain disappointment at the recent PILG presentation on Loan Repayment Assistance Programs. Apparently, some students thought they were attending a presentation on LARP (Live Action Role Playing). Instead the presentation was on LRAP (Loan Repayment Assistance Programs). It is uncertain if the mistake was due to a misprint or a misreading of signs and emails.
“I knew some people were confused when I saw a few students wearing medieval body armor and elf ears at the meeting,” said PILG President Jordan Taylor. “I want to be perfectly clear, PILG in no way supports or endorses Live Action Role Playing by anybody over the age of 12. Frankly, these people should be ashamed of themselves.”
There was audible disappointment in the room when the handful of LARPs realized the mistake. A few left immediately, battle axes in hand. Others, obviously embarrassed, tried to “pretend” they actually intended to attend the presentation on Loan Forgiveness.
Dan Davenport, director of financial aid, was also confused. He opened the presentation by wondering aloud, “What are all these dorks doing here?”
Eric Haley was among the disappointed LARPs. “When I walked in to the meeting, I was like ‘Wow, no way there are so many LARPs in the law school.’ Turns out I was right.”
“We are going to do everything we can to make sure this doesn’t happen again,” said Taylor, “I think an SBA resolution banning Live Action Role Playing, and expelling participants from the College of Law, would be a good start.”
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