Quotable Quotes

“‘French wine.’ - It even sounds British.”
“95% of statistics are made up on the spot.”
“Intelligent, articulate, not bad company - but seriously, tiny tiny dark little heart.”
“We all know that suspects tear their clothes off and run - this is the American way.”
“Would you feel differently if you
were a Japanese-American?”
“I am a Japanese-Ameri- can.”
“You should raise your hand and yell ‘Bingo’.”
“Heroic efforts not to poop”
“I’m just here for the cookies.”
“With the chainsaw - what happened?”
“It cut him.”
“So, Cinco de Mayo is on May 5th.”
“All those who know the law of Evidence raise your hands. Get those hands down!”
“Which presidential candidate right now is raising the most money?”
“She’s a man.”
“You’re now the equivalent of a 24 year-old woman.”
-said to 27 year-old male, regarding gender maturity
“That’s the only thing I’m gonna know, but I’m gonna know the shit out of it.”