by Ty Bair
In which His Royal Highness Sean Beck, King of Mediasean and Arbitrasean, resolves other people’s disputes.
Dear Sean: How did you become King of Mediasean and Arbitrasean? -Confused in Menard
Dear Confused: Brutal war of succesean, then coronasean.
Dear Sean: I’m really big and pretty, but I’d like to be bigger and prettier. I work really hard in the gym, but I never seem to accomplish anything. You’re pretty ripped. Any advice? -Wants Enormous Legs in Latah.
Dear WELL: Regimentasean of weight repetiseans, in conjunctsean with hydrasean, protein ingestsean, and steroid injectsean.
Dear Sean: I’m confused about global warming. I’ve even heard it might be caused by your irrational hatred of almost everything. Shed some light on this for me. -Skeptical in Moscow.
Dear Skeptical: Total fabricasean! Warming caused by pollusean: internal combustsean, fuel evaporasean, factory emiseans.
Dean Sean: My friend left a frisbee golf game last semester to talk to some stupid client. And somehow I’m the one everyone hates! Should I be mad at him? -Almost Crying on the Ninth Hole.
Dear A.C.: We all make regrettable deciseans. My recommendasean is for benedictsean.
Dear Sean: This whole column is just a total ripoff of that old Adam Sandler Cajun Guy sketch! -Just Out of Sympathy for Hack writers.
Dear JOSH: So what’s your questsean? Anyway, isn’t most sincere form of flattery . . . imitasean?
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Last Poll
Q: Will Inter Alia continue to print the same number of paper copies?
A: The majority calls for fewer copies. The second most popular opinion was to continue publishing the same number. The vote was close. Inter Alia will cut paper publication by 20% and monitor public opinion after publication of the next issue. Inter Alia is committed to environmental causes except recycling and koalas. j/k
A: The majority calls for fewer copies. The second most popular opinion was to continue publishing the same number. The vote was close. Inter Alia will cut paper publication by 20% and monitor public opinion after publication of the next issue. Inter Alia is committed to environmental causes except recycling and koalas. j/k
Inter Alia and How it Affects Your Life
Established in nineteen hundred and ninety four in the year of our lord, Inter Alia is an oasis for those souls brave enough to make the three year trek across the sweltering law school desert.
Inter Alia's pages are filled with contributions from current students and alumni of the Menard College of Law. Authors are invited to contribute on a revolving basis and the editor compiles a new issue every 2 weeks.
Inter Alia is gracious to the Menard faculty and staff who often find themselves fictitiously quoted as fictional characters in humorous situations.
Send submissions here: uiinteralia@gmail.com
1. Play nice when invoking fellow students, faculty or staff by name.
2. There is a place for satire and cynicism, it's here. There is a place for serious complaints, it's called a "Town Hall Meeting." (Don't bring more sand into the oasis)
Editor: Saundra Richartz
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