Wednesday, November 7, 2007
Zombies not the cause of noise in Room 104
by Lacey Rammell-O’Brien
There I was, diligently transcribing Professor Anderson’s study visuals from the board onto my laptop screen (what does “circle circle circle, A, LC, arrow” stand for again?), lulled into trance-like contemplation by the denim-colored stripes of Anderson’s new shirt and black suspenders when suddenly the intricacies of MBCA § 6.40 were drowned out by some kind of loud, low droning.
Since it was Halloween, my first thought went to zombies. But zombies don’t exist, I reminded myself.
What about those 1L’s? They’ve had that vacant, zombie-like stare lately. And I’m pretty sure I heard a small group of them saying “BRAAAAIN! BRAAAIN!” the other day. That’s pretty common 1L behavior. Then again, they could also have been saying “BRIAAAAN! BRIAAAAN!” Buckham’s name over and over in an attempt to absorb the entire outline through meditation.
With zombies having been ruled out, what could all the fuss next door possibly be?
The noise, the bipolar temperatures, the new dance floor in the hallway...suddenly it all came together. The law school is under construction! But why? What could have caused this strangely timed venture into renovation land? To what deviant cause could I blame… er, attribute this disruption to my legal education?
Only the most logical source.
Eric Haley, I am calling you out. This construction project is completely and entirely your fault. I always knew that your “creativity” and “sense of humor” and “incredibly chiseled features” would get all of us into trouble one day. I am, of course, referring to your Inter Alia article from last winter.
You thought that we’d forgotten about that little article, didn’t you? Or maybe you were just hoping that we had. Listen, just because I have the attention span of an A.D.D. Chihuahua doesn’t mean that you can pull a fast one and expect me not to notice the connection. You went too far, Haley.
Nobody, not NOBODY, makes fun of Dean Burnett’s overhead projectors and Dean Seamon’s horse and buggy. You knew full well that Burnett’s grandfather had bartered five bushels of lentils at the Farmer’s Market for each and every one of those overhead projectors.
You overstepped your bounds, and now the administration is exacting their revenge. Thanks a lot, funny man.
Sure, Seamon tries to cover up the conspiracy by promising to tell the construction workers to “pipe” down while they place pipe in 104. No man uses puns that bad unintentionally. Now he’s just toying with us.
So let this construction serve as a warning for all of you so-called potential “humor” writers… don’t target the technology in the law school unless you’re willing to have all of us pay the price.
And someone please give the 1L’s some fresh Buckham outlines before they start searching for fresh brains.
There I was, diligently transcribing Professor Anderson’s study visuals from the board onto my laptop screen (what does “circle circle circle, A, LC, arrow” stand for again?), lulled into trance-like contemplation by the denim-colored stripes of Anderson’s new shirt and black suspenders when suddenly the intricacies of MBCA § 6.40 were drowned out by some kind of loud, low droning.
Since it was Halloween, my first thought went to zombies. But zombies don’t exist, I reminded myself.
What about those 1L’s? They’ve had that vacant, zombie-like stare lately. And I’m pretty sure I heard a small group of them saying “BRAAAAIN! BRAAAIN!” the other day. That’s pretty common 1L behavior. Then again, they could also have been saying “BRIAAAAN! BRIAAAAN!” Buckham’s name over and over in an attempt to absorb the entire outline through meditation.
With zombies having been ruled out, what could all the fuss next door possibly be?
The noise, the bipolar temperatures, the new dance floor in the hallway...suddenly it all came together. The law school is under construction! But why? What could have caused this strangely timed venture into renovation land? To what deviant cause could I blame… er, attribute this disruption to my legal education?
Only the most logical source.
Eric Haley, I am calling you out. This construction project is completely and entirely your fault. I always knew that your “creativity” and “sense of humor” and “incredibly chiseled features” would get all of us into trouble one day. I am, of course, referring to your Inter Alia article from last winter.
You thought that we’d forgotten about that little article, didn’t you? Or maybe you were just hoping that we had. Listen, just because I have the attention span of an A.D.D. Chihuahua doesn’t mean that you can pull a fast one and expect me not to notice the connection. You went too far, Haley.
Nobody, not NOBODY, makes fun of Dean Burnett’s overhead projectors and Dean Seamon’s horse and buggy. You knew full well that Burnett’s grandfather had bartered five bushels of lentils at the Farmer’s Market for each and every one of those overhead projectors.
You overstepped your bounds, and now the administration is exacting their revenge. Thanks a lot, funny man.
Sure, Seamon tries to cover up the conspiracy by promising to tell the construction workers to “pipe” down while they place pipe in 104. No man uses puns that bad unintentionally. Now he’s just toying with us.
So let this construction serve as a warning for all of you so-called potential “humor” writers… don’t target the technology in the law school unless you’re willing to have all of us pay the price.
And someone please give the 1L’s some fresh Buckham outlines before they start searching for fresh brains.
Heard Around the Law School
compiled by R.J. Linnan
• Kurdish Turds
• I lost to a guy in a blow-up bull.
• An all access pass to back door land
• My mens rea was broken on Saturday
• I swear to God, if you dutch oven me, I’ll kick you in the nuts.
• Neal answered it better than I could
• How was it? Tippy.
• She’s not even hot anymore. Yeah, now I just want her to put her underwear ON.
• Jesus, big deal. EVEN PETE could kick his ass.
• WAIT! It was black?!?!?
• I thought that if I just sprinted in mid-air I would hit the ground running. I was wrong.
• Assholes gave me a headache today. Hopefully you have just one asshole. I do, silly. Then you don’t have to worry about the other ones.
• Is there a way that I can make all Hasko, kudos, book giveaway, and ‘The Crit’ emails go straight to junk? What the hell is ‘The Crit’ anyway and how did it get my email address?
• Have the courtesy to at least PRETEND that what you’re doing has something to do with class
• Kurdish Turds
• I lost to a guy in a blow-up bull.
• An all access pass to back door land
• My mens rea was broken on Saturday
• I swear to God, if you dutch oven me, I’ll kick you in the nuts.
• Neal answered it better than I could
• How was it? Tippy.
• She’s not even hot anymore. Yeah, now I just want her to put her underwear ON.
• Jesus, big deal. EVEN PETE could kick his ass.
• WAIT! It was black?!?!?
• I thought that if I just sprinted in mid-air I would hit the ground running. I was wrong.
• Assholes gave me a headache today. Hopefully you have just one asshole. I do, silly. Then you don’t have to worry about the other ones.
• Is there a way that I can make all Hasko, kudos, book giveaway, and ‘The Crit’ emails go straight to junk? What the hell is ‘The Crit’ anyway and how did it get my email address?
• Have the courtesy to at least PRETEND that what you’re doing has something to do with class
Why move to Boise? We have night-school here!
by Jordan Taylor
Silly of me to think my law school schedule would in any way resemble my old 8-5 work schedule. Also silly of me – registering for Professional Responsibility after 7:08 PM this Monday. Obviously that was way too late to get into §2. Those 2L’s....registering for Spring classes within 5 minutes of opening is obviously much more important than attending Fall classes....
What irks me the most about Spring 2008?
The 6 hour gap between Con II and Evidence? There is only so much web to surf between classes. Staying at school until 8 PM on Fridays? Don’t they know its ski season ! 104’s continued hiatus? I’m beginning to wonder if that inane Westlaw training will be my only experience in that room.
It looks like the transition to night school is coming sooner than we think.
Silly of me to think my law school schedule would in any way resemble my old 8-5 work schedule. Also silly of me – registering for Professional Responsibility after 7:08 PM this Monday. Obviously that was way too late to get into §2. Those 2L’s....registering for Spring classes within 5 minutes of opening is obviously much more important than attending Fall classes....
What irks me the most about Spring 2008?
The 6 hour gap between Con II and Evidence? There is only so much web to surf between classes. Staying at school until 8 PM on Fridays? Don’t they know its ski season ! 104’s continued hiatus? I’m beginning to wonder if that inane Westlaw training will be my only experience in that room.
It looks like the transition to night school is coming sooner than we think.
Ask RJ
Dear RJ,
My friends and I have submitted answers to last week’s quiz but have not heard who won the dinner at RJ & Josh’s house.
Man About Really Knowing
Dear MARK,
As you know, according to the University of Idaho, College of Law Honor Code students must refrain from or report any act of false statement, breach of trust, or interference with property, so I am certain that Mr. Fletcher will be in contact with the editors of interalia and me to arrange for payment of the prize for one of the winners. Mr. Fletcher will undoubtedly be purchasing groceries for the dinner that he offered as a prize in advertising the contest. We will keep you posted.
Dear RJ,
Why did the rear entrance to the law school sound like the world’s larges vibrator this week?
Bothered by Loud Obnoxious Wackiness
Dear BLOW
I heard that they are converting the courtroom into something… better. That’s all I know.
Dear RJ,
Why are you so mean and sarcastic?
Student
Advocating Pleasantries
Dear SAP
I am a former romantic; jaded disillusioned, and lacking faith in human nature. And I don’t like you.
Dear RJ,
I need some serious advice. Lately, I have been getting the feeling that people are talking about me. I don’t get this feeling because people approach me themselves or because I overhear them in the hallways. Sadly RJ, I get this feeling because people we go to school with are assholes. Maybe (and this is what I need help with) they are just bored. And maybe they know me better than I know myself and feel like it isn’t necessary to ask me things that are none of their business. And THAT is why they like to have group discussions about my life and what I am doing. What do you think? I suppose it could be because they think I am so interesting. Or it could be that those people really like “The Hills” and long to bring some of that jerkstore drama into their own backyards. Or it could be that it is much easier to discuss my life amongst themselves than to talk to me about it in person. Lately I have come to realize that if we learn anything at all in law school, is that it’s better to speculate and rely on hearsay than it is to get solid evidence from the source. RJ, what should I do?
Her Every Single Trait Examined
Regularly
Dear HESTER,
First of all, don’t feel like Tigger, cause you’re not the only one. There are several people around that law school about whom others feel it necessary to postulate, speculate, defenestrate, obfuscate, communicate, equivocate, fantasticate, implicate, prognosticate (occasionally) advocate, and fornicate. Another problem is that it isn’t just the students doing all of this complicating, there are those on the faculty and staff who sometimes feel it necessary to jump on the bandwagon. There is at least one person in each class who is suffering the slings and arrows of the viperous, lecherous, and jealous. Let’s face it, the simple truth of the matter is that there isn’t much to be done for it except to carry yourself with dignity, and take the opportunity to look people in the eye whenever you can. And smile. If you’re looking them in the eye and smiling, they won’t see me bending down behind them so you can push them down. In a heap. Crying.
Dear RJ
Why is it that Professors can force you to go to class simply so they can spout off their personal political agendas?
Student Tired, Unconvinced Of Diehard Rhetoric
Dear STUDOR
We, as people, tend to surround ourselves with other people who agree with us, so without a professor spouting opinions that were completely foreign to everyone but Mike French, how would you know that those opinions were even out there? Law school is all about being exposed to other people’s opinions, and then doing your best to prove them wrong.
Dear RJ,
The ACLU does suck, so what’s the big deal?
A Serious Student
Dear ASS,
The problem isn’t the ACLU, it’s their advertising and reputation. Clearly to appeal to someone like you, they shouldn’t focus on their work in minority rights, for women’s rights, voting rights, reproductive freedom, or gay rights. Perhaps if you knew that they also worked to defend the right to keep and bear arms, freedom of and from religion, free speech (even of Supremacists, and protestors), and the mentally disabled, you would feel differently. Maybe if you were told the organization was dedicated to EVERYONE’S civil liberties, regardless of their political background or views you would feel differently. Or maybe if you knew that they were working to defend someone like Larry Craig, a man who is anti gay rights, Canadian lumber, and taxes, and pro agriculture, dams, and guns you’d realize that it isn’t just a liberal organization. Or maybe you’re just a douchebag.
My friends and I have submitted answers to last week’s quiz but have not heard who won the dinner at RJ & Josh’s house.
Man About Really Knowing
Dear MARK,
As you know, according to the University of Idaho, College of Law Honor Code students must refrain from or report any act of false statement, breach of trust, or interference with property, so I am certain that Mr. Fletcher will be in contact with the editors of interalia and me to arrange for payment of the prize for one of the winners. Mr. Fletcher will undoubtedly be purchasing groceries for the dinner that he offered as a prize in advertising the contest. We will keep you posted.
Dear RJ,
Why did the rear entrance to the law school sound like the world’s larges vibrator this week?
Bothered by Loud Obnoxious Wackiness
Dear BLOW
I heard that they are converting the courtroom into something… better. That’s all I know.
Dear RJ,
Why are you so mean and sarcastic?
Student
Advocating Pleasantries
Dear SAP
I am a former romantic; jaded disillusioned, and lacking faith in human nature. And I don’t like you.
Dear RJ,
I need some serious advice. Lately, I have been getting the feeling that people are talking about me. I don’t get this feeling because people approach me themselves or because I overhear them in the hallways. Sadly RJ, I get this feeling because people we go to school with are assholes. Maybe (and this is what I need help with) they are just bored. And maybe they know me better than I know myself and feel like it isn’t necessary to ask me things that are none of their business. And THAT is why they like to have group discussions about my life and what I am doing. What do you think? I suppose it could be because they think I am so interesting. Or it could be that those people really like “The Hills” and long to bring some of that jerkstore drama into their own backyards. Or it could be that it is much easier to discuss my life amongst themselves than to talk to me about it in person. Lately I have come to realize that if we learn anything at all in law school, is that it’s better to speculate and rely on hearsay than it is to get solid evidence from the source. RJ, what should I do?
Her Every Single Trait Examined
Regularly
Dear HESTER,
First of all, don’t feel like Tigger, cause you’re not the only one. There are several people around that law school about whom others feel it necessary to postulate, speculate, defenestrate, obfuscate, communicate, equivocate, fantasticate, implicate, prognosticate (occasionally) advocate, and fornicate. Another problem is that it isn’t just the students doing all of this complicating, there are those on the faculty and staff who sometimes feel it necessary to jump on the bandwagon. There is at least one person in each class who is suffering the slings and arrows of the viperous, lecherous, and jealous. Let’s face it, the simple truth of the matter is that there isn’t much to be done for it except to carry yourself with dignity, and take the opportunity to look people in the eye whenever you can. And smile. If you’re looking them in the eye and smiling, they won’t see me bending down behind them so you can push them down. In a heap. Crying.
Dear RJ
Why is it that Professors can force you to go to class simply so they can spout off their personal political agendas?
Student Tired, Unconvinced Of Diehard Rhetoric
Dear STUDOR
We, as people, tend to surround ourselves with other people who agree with us, so without a professor spouting opinions that were completely foreign to everyone but Mike French, how would you know that those opinions were even out there? Law school is all about being exposed to other people’s opinions, and then doing your best to prove them wrong.
Dear RJ,
The ACLU does suck, so what’s the big deal?
A Serious Student
Dear ASS,
The problem isn’t the ACLU, it’s their advertising and reputation. Clearly to appeal to someone like you, they shouldn’t focus on their work in minority rights, for women’s rights, voting rights, reproductive freedom, or gay rights. Perhaps if you knew that they also worked to defend the right to keep and bear arms, freedom of and from religion, free speech (even of Supremacists, and protestors), and the mentally disabled, you would feel differently. Maybe if you were told the organization was dedicated to EVERYONE’S civil liberties, regardless of their political background or views you would feel differently. Or maybe if you knew that they were working to defend someone like Larry Craig, a man who is anti gay rights, Canadian lumber, and taxes, and pro agriculture, dams, and guns you’d realize that it isn’t just a liberal organization. Or maybe you’re just a douchebag.
Stepping Out: Professor Dumbledore denies allegations that he is gay, loves witch
by Josh Studor
by Josh Studor
“I am not gay. I never have been gay. I love my students and my life’s work teaching at Hogwart’s School for Witchcraft and Wizardry,” Headmaster Albus Dumbledore, 126, told reporters last week.
“It is simply outrageous to imply that my friendship with Gellert Grindelwald was anything more than a healthy, non-sexual, relationship between two wizards.”
Dumbledore’s comments came after author J.K. Rowling outed the acclaimed wizard at a Carnegie Hall lecture in late October of this year. At the lecture, a young Harry Potter fan asked Rowling if Dumbledore had ever been in love.
“My truthful answer to you,” she replied, “I always thought of Dumbledore as gay.” She then went on to say that Dumbledore was blinded to the evil nature of Grindelwald because he had fallen in love with the dark wizard.
“The allegations are simply outrageous,” Dumbledore said at a London press conference held days after Rowling’s comments.
Dumbledore has already scheduled an hour-long interview with Rita Skeeter on the muggle TV program 60-Minutes. Reports indicate that he will bring someone who Dumbledore calls his real true love – a witch who lives in Chicago with her three children from a different wizard.
It appears as though Dumbledore’s political and professional life could be over soon. Calls for his resignation from the Wizengamot came in almost immediately and he has already lost is position as chair of the International Confederation of Wizards. The loudest voice came from self-proclaimed protector of the morals and decency, Dolores Umbridge.
“Won’t somebody please think of the children,” she cried out from the Wizengamot floor.
Rowling’s statements are not the first alluding to Dumbledore alternative sexuality.
Rumors of Dumbledore’s proclivities erupted following the now infamous Prefect scandal of the 1980s. In 1984, former defense against the dark arts professor Amycus Carrow resigned after it was revealed that he had been involved with the male prefects from Slytherin House. In the midst of the controversy, Dumbledore, who had not been accused at the time, held a press conference denying any involvement.
“Its a, ‘Bad boy, Mr. Carrow. You’re a naughty boy,’” Dumbledore said. “I’m going to speak out for the students of my house, who in the majority think that Amycus Carrow is probably even a nasty, bad, naughty boy.”
An independent investigation by the Ministry of Magic’s top Aurors absolved Dumbledore of wrong doing but the rumors that Dumbledore had been involved never truly subsided.
Just last year, the interview of an anonymous source published in the Quibbler alleged that Dumbledore had met up with men in a variety of muggle bathrooms. The source went on to say that nothing ever happened because the men would see the 100-year-old wizard’s foot tapping under the stall wall and say, “Nu uh grandpa. You look nothing like your picture on Craigslist.”
Last summer, The Daily Profit published a series of articles about all the rumors but came to no conclusion. However, one particular charge that Dumbledore “cruised” a man at a broom store in London in 1994 prompted a direct response:
“I’ve been in this business more than 50 years in the public eye here,” Dumbledore said, “I don’t go around anywhere hitting on wizards, and by God, if I did, I wouldn’t do it in Diagon Alley! Jiminy.”
The current allegations have lead to wide-spread speculation. One of the most common beliefs is that Dumbledore spurned He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named while he was a student at Hogwarts. This, speculators say, is why He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named hates Dumbledore so much.
“It would explain a lot,” Professor Minerva McGonagall said. “Back in the ‘60s, when Voldemort was at Hogwarts, he had many older male friends who other students avoided. I caught him lurking around outside the headmaster’s office several times. I always just assumed he was plotting to kill the professor.”
He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named refused to comment, but cursed Dumbledore for being incapable of love.
Dumbledore’s outing has also prompted conjecture as to other individuals with whom Dumbledore associated – most notably regarding The Boy Who Lived.
“That Potter boy and him had something going on; that’s for sure,” Lucius Malfoy said while peeking through the door of Severus Snape’s private quarters. “I mean, how else did a half-blood get to be Dumbledore’s favorite?”
As of the time of publication, Harry Potter had not returned this reporter’s owls.
IMAX prompts law school’s move to Boise
by Eric Haley
If you aren’t aware, the law school is about to get a little face lift called Boise. Details are still being worked out and the law school, to some extent, will maintain a Moscow campus but the writing is on the wall, Boise is about to get “Vandalized.”
Dean Seamon sat down with Inter Alia and explained:
The move to Boise is a touchy subject but we have to face the facts, Moscow is never going to get an IMAX theater. The faculty took the annual road trip to Boise this summer and numero uno on the itinerary was Transformers at the IMAX and it did not disappoint.”
However, it did raise questions about the future of the law school. More then once, Professor MacDonald was shooshed for asking “Are you seeing this? Can somebody explain to me why we are in Moscow? Look at the size of that robot! Seriously, anybody, why are we in Moscow when the IMAX is here in Boise, who decides?”
Sure, it was unsettling, but Seamon was determined to exercise caution in the face of the beautiful cinematic experience.
“You can’t just uproot a law school because of a theater……or can you?” he asked
The van ride to Applebee’s was somber to say the least. Professor ONeal tried to lighten the mood with a sarcastic quip, “Hey, what about that preview for the Bee Movie? We can all get together at my place to watch it on the 36 inch flat screen… sigh …when it comes out on DVD.”
Seamon said he was still holding out hope at that point that everyone was just hungry and a Riblet basket would soothe the ache to move to Boise. When they reached Applebee’s, everyone piled out of the van except one fuming individual.
Seamon asked Professor Goble if he wanted to join us for the “Spa for the tastebuds” that is Applebee’s but he gave him a look that made Nietzsche look like Paddington Bear.
“Any hoo, we got our table and the atmosphere was AMAZING!” Seamon said. “A look to the left introduced a happy family laughing as junior dropped his Wingy-ding in his lap, a look to the right would get you a rowdy group of blue-collar workers toasting their beers ‘To Applebees!,’ I tell ya, it was just like the commercials!”
But then the good times were shattered by a tornado of white beard and lockes. Professor Goble stormed the table with a pop quiz.
“Do not turn this over until I say so, you have 20 seconds to finish,” he bellowed.
“For God Sakes, man, how can you do this?!” cried out Dean Brandt.
“This town has a Chilis!” he replied and left the table in the same hurried fashion shaking his head in disappointment and stopping only at the entrance to shout “BEGIN!”
The group flipped the quiz over, and to everyone’s horror, there was only one question: 1. Moscow, WHY? : ( (answer must be 10 words exactly with no words breaching 7 letters).
That was the straw that broke the camel’s back. The group of Applebees goers all looked up, sharing a moment of realization that gives the soul goosebumps.
Finally, Professor Beard spoke up with the shot heard round the state, “Dean, you know it, I know it. Hell junior over yonder with his sloppy-ass wingy ding stained pants knows it. If Idaho Law is going to grow, and by grow I mean be close to the IMAX and anything not Applebees, we have to move the campus to Boise.”
The table went silent until a small, chipper voice broke in:
“Hi my name is Candice, I will be your server, can I start anyone off with some drinks?”
“No thanks Candice, we have a law school to move,” said Professor Anderson. “Ummm… how do you get to Chili’s? Or heck, why not live a little, what about Fridays? T.G.I. Fridays that is.”
If you aren’t aware, the law school is about to get a little face lift called Boise. Details are still being worked out and the law school, to some extent, will maintain a Moscow campus but the writing is on the wall, Boise is about to get “Vandalized.”
Dean Seamon sat down with Inter Alia and explained:
The move to Boise is a touchy subject but we have to face the facts, Moscow is never going to get an IMAX theater. The faculty took the annual road trip to Boise this summer and numero uno on the itinerary was Transformers at the IMAX and it did not disappoint.”
However, it did raise questions about the future of the law school. More then once, Professor MacDonald was shooshed for asking “Are you seeing this? Can somebody explain to me why we are in Moscow? Look at the size of that robot! Seriously, anybody, why are we in Moscow when the IMAX is here in Boise, who decides?”
Sure, it was unsettling, but Seamon was determined to exercise caution in the face of the beautiful cinematic experience.
“You can’t just uproot a law school because of a theater……or can you?” he asked
The van ride to Applebee’s was somber to say the least. Professor ONeal tried to lighten the mood with a sarcastic quip, “Hey, what about that preview for the Bee Movie? We can all get together at my place to watch it on the 36 inch flat screen… sigh …when it comes out on DVD.”
Seamon said he was still holding out hope at that point that everyone was just hungry and a Riblet basket would soothe the ache to move to Boise. When they reached Applebee’s, everyone piled out of the van except one fuming individual.
Seamon asked Professor Goble if he wanted to join us for the “Spa for the tastebuds” that is Applebee’s but he gave him a look that made Nietzsche look like Paddington Bear.
“Any hoo, we got our table and the atmosphere was AMAZING!” Seamon said. “A look to the left introduced a happy family laughing as junior dropped his Wingy-ding in his lap, a look to the right would get you a rowdy group of blue-collar workers toasting their beers ‘To Applebees!,’ I tell ya, it was just like the commercials!”
But then the good times were shattered by a tornado of white beard and lockes. Professor Goble stormed the table with a pop quiz.
“Do not turn this over until I say so, you have 20 seconds to finish,” he bellowed.
“For God Sakes, man, how can you do this?!” cried out Dean Brandt.
“This town has a Chilis!” he replied and left the table in the same hurried fashion shaking his head in disappointment and stopping only at the entrance to shout “BEGIN!”
The group flipped the quiz over, and to everyone’s horror, there was only one question: 1. Moscow, WHY? : ( (answer must be 10 words exactly with no words breaching 7 letters).
That was the straw that broke the camel’s back. The group of Applebees goers all looked up, sharing a moment of realization that gives the soul goosebumps.
Finally, Professor Beard spoke up with the shot heard round the state, “Dean, you know it, I know it. Hell junior over yonder with his sloppy-ass wingy ding stained pants knows it. If Idaho Law is going to grow, and by grow I mean be close to the IMAX and anything not Applebees, we have to move the campus to Boise.”
The table went silent until a small, chipper voice broke in:
“Hi my name is Candice, I will be your server, can I start anyone off with some drinks?”
“No thanks Candice, we have a law school to move,” said Professor Anderson. “Ummm… how do you get to Chili’s? Or heck, why not live a little, what about Fridays? T.G.I. Fridays that is.”
LARPs confused, disappointed by recent LRAP presentation
by Jordan Taylor
A handful of students met certain disappointment at the recent PILG presentation on Loan Repayment Assistance Programs. Apparently, some students thought they were attending a presentation on LARP (Live Action Role Playing). Instead the presentation was on LRAP (Loan Repayment Assistance Programs). It is uncertain if the mistake was due to a misprint or a misreading of signs and emails.
“I knew some people were confused when I saw a few students wearing medieval body armor and elf ears at the meeting,” said PILG President Jordan Taylor. “I want to be perfectly clear, PILG in no way supports or endorses Live Action Role Playing by anybody over the age of 12. Frankly, these people should be ashamed of themselves.”
There was audible disappointment in the room when the handful of LARPs realized the mistake. A few left immediately, battle axes in hand. Others, obviously embarrassed, tried to “pretend” they actually intended to attend the presentation on Loan Forgiveness.
Dan Davenport, director of financial aid, was also confused. He opened the presentation by wondering aloud, “What are all these dorks doing here?”
Eric Haley was among the disappointed LARPs. “When I walked in to the meeting, I was like ‘Wow, no way there are so many LARPs in the law school.’ Turns out I was right.”
“We are going to do everything we can to make sure this doesn’t happen again,” said Taylor, “I think an SBA resolution banning Live Action Role Playing, and expelling participants from the College of Law, would be a good start.”
A handful of students met certain disappointment at the recent PILG presentation on Loan Repayment Assistance Programs. Apparently, some students thought they were attending a presentation on LARP (Live Action Role Playing). Instead the presentation was on LRAP (Loan Repayment Assistance Programs). It is uncertain if the mistake was due to a misprint or a misreading of signs and emails.
“I knew some people were confused when I saw a few students wearing medieval body armor and elf ears at the meeting,” said PILG President Jordan Taylor. “I want to be perfectly clear, PILG in no way supports or endorses Live Action Role Playing by anybody over the age of 12. Frankly, these people should be ashamed of themselves.”
There was audible disappointment in the room when the handful of LARPs realized the mistake. A few left immediately, battle axes in hand. Others, obviously embarrassed, tried to “pretend” they actually intended to attend the presentation on Loan Forgiveness.
Dan Davenport, director of financial aid, was also confused. He opened the presentation by wondering aloud, “What are all these dorks doing here?”
Eric Haley was among the disappointed LARPs. “When I walked in to the meeting, I was like ‘Wow, no way there are so many LARPs in the law school.’ Turns out I was right.”
“We are going to do everything we can to make sure this doesn’t happen again,” said Taylor, “I think an SBA resolution banning Live Action Role Playing, and expelling participants from the College of Law, would be a good start.”
Monday, October 8, 2007
3Ls Triumphant
UPS (Brown) beats Hooligans (Royal Blue) in final WLC Powderpuff Football game; 1Ls limp home to lick wounds
by Eric Haley
On Friday Oct 5, with a wind chill factor of -218 degrees, the ladies of the law school took to the football fields to bring the pain in the grossly mislabeled yet supremely awesome, Powder Puff Football tournament. Two 1L teams made their inaugural run at the championship: Team 1-Hell and The Appropriators. As usual, the 1L little lambs served as a delicious snack for the 2 and 3L teams as 1-Hell dropped their first game to 2L’s The Hooligans and the second game to 3L’s UPS. The Appropriaters stayed out of the “L” column during the first round of play by utilizing “the bye”, however, they faced defeat at the hands of a snarling 2L Legally Pink who had just been packed and shipped to the loser’s bracket by UPS. The Appropriator’s fate was sealed with a subsequent loss to The Hooligans who put on a clinic of quarterback sneaks and superb passing. With vision’s of Jodi Felton interceptions still haunting Legally Pink, they faced elimination against The Hooligans in the 2L rival game. Pink’s QB, Janet Clark, put the ball in the air but The Hooligan’s defense proved too much leaving Pink scoreless in the game. Melissa Woods found the in-zone on an insane catch intended for a fellow receiver but batted out of the air by Legally Pink’s defense. Receptions by Laura Sbertoli helped The Hooligan’s march toward two touchdowns to seal the deal, leaving this Legally Pink Coach proud of his team and in hiding for all the shit he talked to obviously superior Hooligan Coaching Staff Matt, Josh and Neil. The championship game saw Coaches Witry, Zanetti, Mihara and staff lead UPS to victory as defensive warrior Sharon Mclaughlin dared The Hooligans to pass or run with crazy blitzing. UPS contained QB Suzie Jensen (who is used to running to the in-zone in her sleep) and glided down the field with excellent running by Amy Kingston. At the end of the night, UPS emerged unbeaten with a 14-0 win in the championship game. Congratulations UPS, 2007 Powder Puff Champions!
You’re just an obscure language or debilitating disease away from a great scholarship
Dear RJ,
I am a little concerned with the cost of law school and living here in Moscow. Is there anything I can do to help supplement my college loans?
Befuddled Reader of Knowledge Emails
Dear BROKE
Well, part time jobs are not as abundant in Moscow as one might hope, especially for 1L’s and 2L’s but there is good news! There are lots of scholarships available, and our Office of Academic Support can link you up with them. Do you have an interest in Abkhazia and speak Gujarati? Are you interested in the Kingdom of Lesotho and speak Macedo-Romanian? Perhaps you’re a one legged autistic of Liechtensteinen descent or a homosexual diabetic with dwarfism? Then there is a scholarship that our Office of Academic Support can help you apply for!
Dear RJ,
Is it true that Instructor Laurie O’Neal hit Associate Professor Long with her car while he was on a bicycle?
A Worried Student
Dear AWS
Yes.
Dear RJ,
Is it true that Jimmy Mac is a Left Wing agenda promoting nut job who hit someone on a bicycle with his truck?
Con Law Student
Dear CLS
Jimmy Mac has not hit anyone on a bicycle with his truck.
Dear RJ
This summer I had a friend go through a costly and painful divorce. My friend was really low on money at the time so he asked the clinic if they could help him file his divorce but he was told that the clinic couldn’t take on a law student as a client because it was a conflict of interest for clinic students to have personal information about the people with whom they take classes. I have since learned that the clinic takes on students as clients fairly regularly, even if the student is in classes with law students, or is well known to the clinic students. Do the people in the clinic just hate my friend and me?
Perplexed By Policy.
Dear PBP,
The short answer is yes, the people running the clinic DO hate you and your friend, but there is an explanation. The students in clinic have a duty of confidentiality to the people they work with as clients, but that’s only for people they don’t know well. Full time attorneys who have taken the bar certainly don’t take friends and relatives on as clients! Besides, according to an unnamed and highly placed source in the clinic environs, law students ask a lot of pesky questions about their cases and are generally a pain in the ass as clients, so it is a lot easier to have a policy that, while making no logical sense, simply bars law students as clients altogether. This way, all of those pesky questions and that tricky confidentiality thing can be avoided.
Dear RJ,
I like to play Magic The Gathering. How can I find more people to play with?
Anonymous Annoying Reader of Nerdy Cards
Dear AARON,
I had to do some research to answer this question, but I have an answer for you. Apparently aside from going directly to the local hobby shop, logging time in Magic chat rooms, and going to conventions, you can go to the airport, sit down in a stall, and tap your foot repeatedly. If the person next to you taps his or her foot against yours in return, then you wave your hand under the stall while holding a Magic Card in your palm so that it can be seen, you just might have a playmate.
Dear RJ,
I heard that both 1L Powder Puff Teams left the tournament without having a playoff to see which team was better. Is this true? Why did it happen?
Fun and Naughty
Dear FAN
The 1L girls understand the true meaning of sportsmanship, that the endeavoring is more important than the win, that having nothing to prove, it was better to take a tie and make winners of all rather than making losers of some. Plus it was cold, and the 2L girls were really mean.
I am a little concerned with the cost of law school and living here in Moscow. Is there anything I can do to help supplement my college loans?
Befuddled Reader of Knowledge Emails
Dear BROKE
Well, part time jobs are not as abundant in Moscow as one might hope, especially for 1L’s and 2L’s but there is good news! There are lots of scholarships available, and our Office of Academic Support can link you up with them. Do you have an interest in Abkhazia and speak Gujarati? Are you interested in the Kingdom of Lesotho and speak Macedo-Romanian? Perhaps you’re a one legged autistic of Liechtensteinen descent or a homosexual diabetic with dwarfism? Then there is a scholarship that our Office of Academic Support can help you apply for!
Dear RJ,
Is it true that Instructor Laurie O’Neal hit Associate Professor Long with her car while he was on a bicycle?
A Worried Student
Dear AWS
Yes.
Dear RJ,
Is it true that Jimmy Mac is a Left Wing agenda promoting nut job who hit someone on a bicycle with his truck?
Con Law Student
Dear CLS
Jimmy Mac has not hit anyone on a bicycle with his truck.
Dear RJ
This summer I had a friend go through a costly and painful divorce. My friend was really low on money at the time so he asked the clinic if they could help him file his divorce but he was told that the clinic couldn’t take on a law student as a client because it was a conflict of interest for clinic students to have personal information about the people with whom they take classes. I have since learned that the clinic takes on students as clients fairly regularly, even if the student is in classes with law students, or is well known to the clinic students. Do the people in the clinic just hate my friend and me?
Perplexed By Policy.
Dear PBP,
The short answer is yes, the people running the clinic DO hate you and your friend, but there is an explanation. The students in clinic have a duty of confidentiality to the people they work with as clients, but that’s only for people they don’t know well. Full time attorneys who have taken the bar certainly don’t take friends and relatives on as clients! Besides, according to an unnamed and highly placed source in the clinic environs, law students ask a lot of pesky questions about their cases and are generally a pain in the ass as clients, so it is a lot easier to have a policy that, while making no logical sense, simply bars law students as clients altogether. This way, all of those pesky questions and that tricky confidentiality thing can be avoided.
Dear RJ,
I like to play Magic The Gathering. How can I find more people to play with?
Anonymous Annoying Reader of Nerdy Cards
Dear AARON,
I had to do some research to answer this question, but I have an answer for you. Apparently aside from going directly to the local hobby shop, logging time in Magic chat rooms, and going to conventions, you can go to the airport, sit down in a stall, and tap your foot repeatedly. If the person next to you taps his or her foot against yours in return, then you wave your hand under the stall while holding a Magic Card in your palm so that it can be seen, you just might have a playmate.
Dear RJ,
I heard that both 1L Powder Puff Teams left the tournament without having a playoff to see which team was better. Is this true? Why did it happen?
Fun and Naughty
Dear FAN
The 1L girls understand the true meaning of sportsmanship, that the endeavoring is more important than the win, that having nothing to prove, it was better to take a tie and make winners of all rather than making losers of some. Plus it was cold, and the 2L girls were really mean.
Whole school sued for copyright infringement
by Ty Bair
Early Monday morning, very nearly every member of the Idaho Law community, including professors, students, administrative staff, clinic personnel, and custodians, was served with a “settlement letter” from the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA), which seeks damages for alleged violations of artist copyrights. The charges come in response to the recent arrest of Sean “Moscova Bazaar” Beck, who has for the last two years sold thousands of pieces of illegally copied music, movies, and novelty items in the basement of the Menard College of Law Building.
The accusations themselves are varied. 1L Andreus Schou is accused of downloading 1983’s Huey Lewis and the News work, Sports, the original release of which he actually remembers. 3L William Fletcher allegedly downloaded “dozens” of tracks by songstress Sarah McLachlan, including four different live versions of “Building a Mystery.” The only student who has not been charged with copyright infringement is 3L Lindsey Simon, who, astonishingly, paid for the sound tracks to High School Musical and High School Musical 2.
Some students have already moved to settle. 3L student Mindy Willman admits she downloaded the explicit version of NWA’s Straight Outta Compton, which is actually pretty awesome. Not surprisingly, 2L Neal Burns denied having downloaded the sound track to The Little Mermaid. Sole Canadian, Danielle Rowand, denies RIAA’s allegation that she downloaded Bryan Adams’s entire discography, although she admits to having downloaded a lot of Tragically Hip and Barenaked Ladies tracks.
Reactions to the RIAA’s actions have been mixed. Local musician “Hair Metal” Luke B. expressed support, although he declined to give his full name to this reporter, for fear of his safety. “I’ve worked for a lot of years to cultivate a hard-rock persona. It’s bullshit that someone can just download a copy of Appetite for Destruction and start aping my style without spending a penny. I bought that album on cassette!”
Mr. B. then threw the horns.
Other musicians were more ambivalent. “Fuck the RIAA. I’ve never made any money off music and they shouldn’t either,” said singer-songwriter Trent B., who also declined to give his full name.
The actual effect of the RIAA’s legal threats may be minimal. Most members of the College of Law community, with the obvious exception of Katherine Spenner, are totally judgment proof. Furthermore, intellectual property experts Professors Bridy and Anderson note RIAA will probably sue a number of students across the street for every one of us it sues, potentially making us a long-term profit by drumming up business. Professor Anderson is himself accused of trademark violation, having marketed a signature line of yellow and red silk neckties, allegedly in violation of an existing trademark.
In related news, Motion Picture Association of America process servers have thus far failed in their attempts to serve a complaint on Professor Williams, whom they accuse of downloading and watching the entire series run of Sex and the City. Twice.
Early Monday morning, very nearly every member of the Idaho Law community, including professors, students, administrative staff, clinic personnel, and custodians, was served with a “settlement letter” from the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA), which seeks damages for alleged violations of artist copyrights. The charges come in response to the recent arrest of Sean “Moscova Bazaar” Beck, who has for the last two years sold thousands of pieces of illegally copied music, movies, and novelty items in the basement of the Menard College of Law Building.
The accusations themselves are varied. 1L Andreus Schou is accused of downloading 1983’s Huey Lewis and the News work, Sports, the original release of which he actually remembers. 3L William Fletcher allegedly downloaded “dozens” of tracks by songstress Sarah McLachlan, including four different live versions of “Building a Mystery.” The only student who has not been charged with copyright infringement is 3L Lindsey Simon, who, astonishingly, paid for the sound tracks to High School Musical and High School Musical 2.
Some students have already moved to settle. 3L student Mindy Willman admits she downloaded the explicit version of NWA’s Straight Outta Compton, which is actually pretty awesome. Not surprisingly, 2L Neal Burns denied having downloaded the sound track to The Little Mermaid. Sole Canadian, Danielle Rowand, denies RIAA’s allegation that she downloaded Bryan Adams’s entire discography, although she admits to having downloaded a lot of Tragically Hip and Barenaked Ladies tracks.
Reactions to the RIAA’s actions have been mixed. Local musician “Hair Metal” Luke B. expressed support, although he declined to give his full name to this reporter, for fear of his safety. “I’ve worked for a lot of years to cultivate a hard-rock persona. It’s bullshit that someone can just download a copy of Appetite for Destruction and start aping my style without spending a penny. I bought that album on cassette!”
Mr. B. then threw the horns.
Other musicians were more ambivalent. “Fuck the RIAA. I’ve never made any money off music and they shouldn’t either,” said singer-songwriter Trent B., who also declined to give his full name.
The actual effect of the RIAA’s legal threats may be minimal. Most members of the College of Law community, with the obvious exception of Katherine Spenner, are totally judgment proof. Furthermore, intellectual property experts Professors Bridy and Anderson note RIAA will probably sue a number of students across the street for every one of us it sues, potentially making us a long-term profit by drumming up business. Professor Anderson is himself accused of trademark violation, having marketed a signature line of yellow and red silk neckties, allegedly in violation of an existing trademark.
In related news, Motion Picture Association of America process servers have thus far failed in their attempts to serve a complaint on Professor Williams, whom they accuse of downloading and watching the entire series run of Sex and the City. Twice.
College of Law approaches 1,000th “Be quiet” message
by Eric Haley
The students at the University of Idaho School of Law are abuzz this semester and the topic of conversation isn’t as centered around the Judicial branch of government as one might think. The school populace remains on pins and needles eager to watch the shattering of a milestone that many thought could never be reached. The next electronic mail (E-mail) requesting silence in the library will be the school’s 1000th mass communication on the subject.
“Back in 1800-and-something-or-other when the school was founded, the faculty had a bet as to when the school’s postal horseman would deliver the 300th letter requesting silence in the library, consensus was reached on the year 2753”, reported Dean Brandt. “Well, they were way off!”
“They didn’t bother predicting when the 500th mass request would come out because the founding Dean’s felt like the world would have long ceased due to the sun exploding into a red giant before it was necessary.”
University of Idaho Law School Historian Rose Duffy told this Inter Alia insider, “Yep. People have bitched about noise in the library ever since it was necessary to send actual paper mail but the “boo-hooeyness” really hit its stride with the invention of Morse Code. Take a gander at this little piece of University of Idaho Law history dated 1900 and 12 in the year of our Lord: Beep-beep-bu-beep-beep-beep. Can’t translate that? Didn’t think so, guess that is why I am the historian. It says, ‘Students, please be silent in the library, fellow students are trying to study.’ It was transmitted 215 times between 1912 and 1954. A little factoid most students are unaware of dates back to 1953, when a student actually hired a barber shop quartet to deliver a singing telegram to the student body at large requesting…SIIII-LEEENCE in THEEE LIBRARY….uh bom bom bom shooby du wop!”
The world wide web has been the single most important tool in the quest for 1000 by allowing students to tattle at the speed of light however, some students still resist the urge.
Two-L Nick Peterson commented, “I study in the library. Sometimes people walk by me and make eye contact with each other and that alone pisses me off. More then once, this has led to fleeting conversation as they pass by. When it happens, I usually repeat “There’s no place like home” over and over again until the rage subsides. Most of the time it works even if I am not wearing my ruby reds that day. Sure, it would be nice to go messy in my diaper and fire off a complaint to the SBA Sergeant at Arms but if I do I feel like it would just validate these verbal terrorists.”
When asked to gauge the effectiveness of “Be quiet in the library” e-mails on a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being “Yeah, when I read one I am totally reminded of the forgotten fact that the library is not a place to socialize so I shut my trap”) 2L Emma Wilson said, “Oh, I have my email set so that any emails with the words “library and silence” go to my spam folder so I have to give them a 1. But thats changing today out of respect for the 999 tattlers who got us here. My team is thinking about having Powder Puff practice in the second floor just so we can say we were the 1000th. WHOO HOO!
The students at the University of Idaho School of Law are abuzz this semester and the topic of conversation isn’t as centered around the Judicial branch of government as one might think. The school populace remains on pins and needles eager to watch the shattering of a milestone that many thought could never be reached. The next electronic mail (E-mail) requesting silence in the library will be the school’s 1000th mass communication on the subject.
“Back in 1800-and-something-or-other when the school was founded, the faculty had a bet as to when the school’s postal horseman would deliver the 300th letter requesting silence in the library, consensus was reached on the year 2753”, reported Dean Brandt. “Well, they were way off!”
“They didn’t bother predicting when the 500th mass request would come out because the founding Dean’s felt like the world would have long ceased due to the sun exploding into a red giant before it was necessary.”
University of Idaho Law School Historian Rose Duffy told this Inter Alia insider, “Yep. People have bitched about noise in the library ever since it was necessary to send actual paper mail but the “boo-hooeyness” really hit its stride with the invention of Morse Code. Take a gander at this little piece of University of Idaho Law history dated 1900 and 12 in the year of our Lord: Beep-beep-bu-beep-beep-beep. Can’t translate that? Didn’t think so, guess that is why I am the historian. It says, ‘Students, please be silent in the library, fellow students are trying to study.’ It was transmitted 215 times between 1912 and 1954. A little factoid most students are unaware of dates back to 1953, when a student actually hired a barber shop quartet to deliver a singing telegram to the student body at large requesting…SIIII-LEEENCE in THEEE LIBRARY….uh bom bom bom shooby du wop!”
The world wide web has been the single most important tool in the quest for 1000 by allowing students to tattle at the speed of light however, some students still resist the urge.
Two-L Nick Peterson commented, “I study in the library. Sometimes people walk by me and make eye contact with each other and that alone pisses me off. More then once, this has led to fleeting conversation as they pass by. When it happens, I usually repeat “There’s no place like home” over and over again until the rage subsides. Most of the time it works even if I am not wearing my ruby reds that day. Sure, it would be nice to go messy in my diaper and fire off a complaint to the SBA Sergeant at Arms but if I do I feel like it would just validate these verbal terrorists.”
When asked to gauge the effectiveness of “Be quiet in the library” e-mails on a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being “Yeah, when I read one I am totally reminded of the forgotten fact that the library is not a place to socialize so I shut my trap”) 2L Emma Wilson said, “Oh, I have my email set so that any emails with the words “library and silence” go to my spam folder so I have to give them a 1. But thats changing today out of respect for the 999 tattlers who got us here. My team is thinking about having Powder Puff practice in the second floor just so we can say we were the 1000th. WHOO HOO!
Overheard at the Law School
by R.J. Linnan
• If I ever meet this McNichols guy, I’m gonna kick him in the nuts
• Wait. Jimmy Mac is getting sued?!
• Neil! Eat a bagel.
• Doesn’t study group imply that we should all be participating and not just tutoring one selfish asshole?
• What the hell does sustainability mean anyway? What are we trying to sustain, the shortage?
• I am not saying shit, I don’t want Salma to kick my ass.
• If they made yellow earbuds, do you think they would blend into my hair so that I could watch youtube in class?
• What are these books always doing here? Oh, they’re library books.
• Wait… is she CRYING?
• Oh WOW, Dude, you’ve got a strong stomach. That girl REEKS.
• Yeah, well I went to see Oprah, and got fuck all.
• I wanted to sing Hootie, and she cued It’s Raining Men.
• J. Miller makes a reference to Baron Harkonnen and suddenly all geeks in our class have been identified
• If I ever meet this McNichols guy, I’m gonna kick him in the nuts
• Wait. Jimmy Mac is getting sued?!
• Neil! Eat a bagel.
• Doesn’t study group imply that we should all be participating and not just tutoring one selfish asshole?
• What the hell does sustainability mean anyway? What are we trying to sustain, the shortage?
• I am not saying shit, I don’t want Salma to kick my ass.
• If they made yellow earbuds, do you think they would blend into my hair so that I could watch youtube in class?
• What are these books always doing here? Oh, they’re library books.
• Wait… is she CRYING?
• Oh WOW, Dude, you’ve got a strong stomach. That girl REEKS.
• Yeah, well I went to see Oprah, and got fuck all.
• I wanted to sing Hootie, and she cued It’s Raining Men.
• J. Miller makes a reference to Baron Harkonnen and suddenly all geeks in our class have been identified
Please, let me enjoy my romance novels
by Lindsey Simon
Law school has ruined a lot of things for me, like enjoying Law & Order and my capacity to be interesting to anyone not in law school. But of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my ability to suspend belief enough to enjoy cheesy romance novels the most.
Family law has been particularly destructive. After we learned that in many states unwed fathers must file with the putative father registry before or soon after the birth of the child in order to assert their paternal rights against an uncooperative mother. I was shocked! What does this do to one of my favorite romance novel plot devices (the good ol’ we-had-a-one-night-stand-and-you-got-pregnant-but-never-told-me-so-now-I’m-going-to-force-you-to-marry-me-or-live-with-me-under-threat-of-a-custody-battle-but-eventually-we-will-fall-in-love story line)? Don’t the heroines/mothers know that it would be very difficult for the heroes/fathers to win such a custody battle because they hadn’t registered? Then again, maybe the hero would have a claim if it’s not really his fault that he didn’t register because he was in prison when the baby was born since he met the heroine and they conceived the child after he escaped from prison and kidnapped her as his hostage but of course she succumbed to his rugged sensuality… (Yes, this is a real plot from a book, and yes, I read it. Don’t judge me.)
But what if hero wasn’t in prison and just dropped the heroine off at the airport after their one-time weekend fling?
Even if he is a professional hockey player, should he be able to threaten the heroine with a custody battle six years later until she agrees to let him see their daughter? The heroine should have seen a lawyer. —even if she was still hopelessly attracted to him—because clearly the deadbeat hero should have registered or checked in with her once or twice during the past six years if he was genuinely concerned with any potential offspring from the passionate affair. (Another real book. And yes, I read it, too.)
Oh well. At least I can say that they provide useful hypothetical fact patterns for Family Law problems. But I guess I should just accept that law school will claim my love of silly romance novels, along with my soul.
Law school has ruined a lot of things for me, like enjoying Law & Order and my capacity to be interesting to anyone not in law school. But of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my ability to suspend belief enough to enjoy cheesy romance novels the most.
Family law has been particularly destructive. After we learned that in many states unwed fathers must file with the putative father registry before or soon after the birth of the child in order to assert their paternal rights against an uncooperative mother. I was shocked! What does this do to one of my favorite romance novel plot devices (the good ol’ we-had-a-one-night-stand-and-you-got-pregnant-but-never-told-me-so-now-I’m-going-to-force-you-to-marry-me-or-live-with-me-under-threat-of-a-custody-battle-but-eventually-we-will-fall-in-love story line)? Don’t the heroines/mothers know that it would be very difficult for the heroes/fathers to win such a custody battle because they hadn’t registered? Then again, maybe the hero would have a claim if it’s not really his fault that he didn’t register because he was in prison when the baby was born since he met the heroine and they conceived the child after he escaped from prison and kidnapped her as his hostage but of course she succumbed to his rugged sensuality… (Yes, this is a real plot from a book, and yes, I read it. Don’t judge me.)
But what if hero wasn’t in prison and just dropped the heroine off at the airport after their one-time weekend fling?
Even if he is a professional hockey player, should he be able to threaten the heroine with a custody battle six years later until she agrees to let him see their daughter? The heroine should have seen a lawyer. —even if she was still hopelessly attracted to him—because clearly the deadbeat hero should have registered or checked in with her once or twice during the past six years if he was genuinely concerned with any potential offspring from the passionate affair. (Another real book. And yes, I read it, too.)
Oh well. At least I can say that they provide useful hypothetical fact patterns for Family Law problems. But I guess I should just accept that law school will claim my love of silly romance novels, along with my soul.
Check it Out
Don’t have enough to read? The law library has some new, interesting books
by Anne Buike
Richard Posner’s The Little Book of Plagiarism (KF 1485 P67 2007) recently arrived at your law library and Judge Posner has packed a hot topic into the palm of your hand. His tome is an environmentally friendly 4.2 x 6.2 x 0.8 inches and won’t overtake your carrel, or thwart precious space previously allotted to your iPod jam packed with illegally obtained music in your designer bag. Furthermore Posner gives you something to say in a conversation with new Intellectual Property faculty member Annemarie Bridy, and also tips for your legal research. According to Amazon, people who purchased this book also purchased “Supreme Conflict : the inside story of the struggle for control of the United States Supreme Court” by Jan Greenberg, which is located at KF 8742 G74 2007.
Failure to Protect: America’s
Sexual Predator Laws and the Rise of the Preventive State (KF 9325 J36 2006) by Eric Janus. Janus has written a book that may support your right to MySpace and Facebook freely. He discusses the result of elected officials and the media in regards to legislation and report of strangers as predators in relation to sexual violence. He has a different approach to preventing sexual violence, and it doesn’t involve setting up a sting operation with a Yahoo! Profile and having Chris Hansen with Dateline NBC on scene. Lastly, Janus critiques the “preventative state” and how it can affect civil liberties.
A Botanic Garden for the Nation: The United State Botanic Garden is perfect for the law student who is tired of reading, and would enjoy going back to a simpler time in life, reading books with lots of pictures. This government-produced book is rife with amazing full color photos of the grounds and specimens of the Botanic Garden located in our Nation’s Capital, Washington DC. Take a mini mental vaca and gaze upon pages 78 – 97, and imagine you are not sitting in the basement of the Menard Law Building and someone nearby has something stinky for lunch, but you are hiking through a jungle or a rainforest of a far off land. If you enjoy good espresso, don’t miss page 158 and the Bartholdi fountain, which can only create a relaxing feeling of being in Europe next summer after the school year has ended. Anne-Catherine Fallen has worked magic with her photographic eye, and with the Government Printing Office has created a masterpiece that is located at QK 73 U62 U553 2007.
by Anne Buike
Richard Posner’s The Little Book of Plagiarism (KF 1485 P67 2007) recently arrived at your law library and Judge Posner has packed a hot topic into the palm of your hand. His tome is an environmentally friendly 4.2 x 6.2 x 0.8 inches and won’t overtake your carrel, or thwart precious space previously allotted to your iPod jam packed with illegally obtained music in your designer bag. Furthermore Posner gives you something to say in a conversation with new Intellectual Property faculty member Annemarie Bridy, and also tips for your legal research. According to Amazon, people who purchased this book also purchased “Supreme Conflict : the inside story of the struggle for control of the United States Supreme Court” by Jan Greenberg, which is located at KF 8742 G74 2007.
Failure to Protect: America’s
Sexual Predator Laws and the Rise of the Preventive State (KF 9325 J36 2006) by Eric Janus. Janus has written a book that may support your right to MySpace and Facebook freely. He discusses the result of elected officials and the media in regards to legislation and report of strangers as predators in relation to sexual violence. He has a different approach to preventing sexual violence, and it doesn’t involve setting up a sting operation with a Yahoo! Profile and having Chris Hansen with Dateline NBC on scene. Lastly, Janus critiques the “preventative state” and how it can affect civil liberties. A Botanic Garden for the Nation: The United State Botanic Garden is perfect for the law student who is tired of reading, and would enjoy going back to a simpler time in life, reading books with lots of pictures. This government-produced book is rife with amazing full color photos of the grounds and specimens of the Botanic Garden located in our Nation’s Capital, Washington DC. Take a mini mental vaca and gaze upon pages 78 – 97, and imagine you are not sitting in the basement of the Menard Law Building and someone nearby has something stinky for lunch, but you are hiking through a jungle or a rainforest of a far off land. If you enjoy good espresso, don’t miss page 158 and the Bartholdi fountain, which can only create a relaxing feeling of being in Europe next summer after the school year has ended. Anne-Catherine Fallen has worked magic with her photographic eye, and with the Government Printing Office has created a masterpiece that is located at QK 73 U62 U553 2007.
A Little Stress Relief
by Michael Witry
Are you feeling a little blue right now? Got the weight of the world on your shoulders? Finding law school a little too tough? Well, I’ve been there too. If you’re down and out and need a little ray of sunshine in your life, why not remind yourself of all the good things in life by singing a little song? Here’s a ditty I like to sing when I’m down in the dumps.
O Fortuna
velut luna
statu variabilis,
semper crescis
aut decrescis;
vita detestabilis
nunc obdurat
et tunc curat
ludo mentis aciem,
egestatem,
potestatem
dissolvit ut glaciem.
Sors immanis
et inanis,
rota tu volubilis,
nunc per ludum
dorsum nudum
fero tui sceleris.
Sors salutis
et virtutis
michi nunc contraria,
est affectus
et defectus
semper in angaria.
Hac in hora
sine mora
corde pulsum tangite;
quod per sortem
sternit fortem,
mecum omnes plangite!
Just don’t sing too loudly when your neighbors are trying to study.
Are you feeling a little blue right now? Got the weight of the world on your shoulders? Finding law school a little too tough? Well, I’ve been there too. If you’re down and out and need a little ray of sunshine in your life, why not remind yourself of all the good things in life by singing a little song? Here’s a ditty I like to sing when I’m down in the dumps.
O Fortuna
velut luna
statu variabilis,
semper crescis
aut decrescis;
vita detestabilis
nunc obdurat
et tunc curat
ludo mentis aciem,
egestatem,
potestatem
dissolvit ut glaciem.
Sors immanis
et inanis,
rota tu volubilis,
nunc per ludum
dorsum nudum
fero tui sceleris.
Sors salutis
et virtutis
michi nunc contraria,
est affectus
et defectus
semper in angaria.
Hac in hora
sine mora
corde pulsum tangite;
quod per sortem
sternit fortem,
mecum omnes plangite!
Just don’t sing too loudly when your neighbors are trying to study.
Pieces of My Mind
by Josh Studor
Moscow may be less free after Monday’s vote. Monday, Moscow City Council voted on an amendment to the city noise ordinance that would get rid of the need for a complaint before police can cite people for violations. The vote paves the way for a new form of pre-textual stop; a kind that targets an individual’s home.
Prior to this vote, officers had to receive a complaint and give the violator a warning. If a neighbor called in a second complaint within 48 hours, the officer could cite the noisy person. Police could not just show up and issue a citation.
Cops now can (assuming the ordinance passed).
Aside from the fact that noisy people might not be bothering anyone around them and the fact that nice neighbors just go ask the loud neighbor to tone it down; my problem is that officers can now have another way to use probable cause to look in our homes.
Picture this: 20 people are hanging out in an apartment drinking libations. Two of those 20 are underage. A cop drives by the apartment and hears some loud laughter and decides that his peace is disturbed. The cop goes up to the apartment door (complete with probable cause) and knocks.
Officer: “Hi there, do you know why I knocked on your door?”
Tenant: “No sir, did someone complain about some noise?”
Officer: “No, I just heard you all from the street. Is that alcohol?”
Tenant: “Yes.”
Officer: “Is there anyone here underage?”
Now comes a decision. Does tenant admit to there being underagers in the home and face a contributing charge OR does she lie and face a charge of providing false info or even obstructing? See the dilemma?
Lately, Moscow has been on a civil liberty violation rampage. Earlier this semester, they passed an ordinance making it illegal for more than four unrelated individuals to live together. Previously it was six. This sounds unconstitutional but no, the Supreme Court has ruled that ordinances like these are a valid use of police powers. So, those of you who are thinking of having your significant other move in with you and your three friends, think again. Or those poor college students who need to split a four-bedroom house five ways: forget it.
City Council elections are coming next month. I suggest you keep these new ordinances in mind when you mark your box. For the record, supporters of the noise bill include: John Weber, Bill Lambert and Mayor Nancy Chaney. At press time there was no word on how Aaron Ament or Linda Pall planned to vote.
A Minnesota judge has refused to allow Sen. Larry Craig (ID-R) to withdraw his guilty plea. Thank god! Why he thought he would be able to anyway is beyond me. The only reason he tried to withdraw is that the plea was made public. He was guilty as charged and needs to face the music.
Now, to all of you who are iffy about what he did being a crime, let me present the following: First, if he was soliciting sex with the man in the stall, he was not trying to get the guy to leave the airport, go to a hotel, mess around and go home. No, he was planning on sex right then and there. If that is unbelievable, look at Craigslist.com. It happens.
Plus, Craig knew what he was doing when he pled guilty. He had two months to consider his plea or consult with an attorney. He did a written plea out of the presence of a judge or a prosecutor. There was no undue pressure from the court or the state. If he didn’t think what he had done was a crime he wouldn’t have pleaded guilty. He’s a senator for Christ’s sake.
So, Mr. Craig, even though you refuse to, you should now resign in shame for being a hypocrite, a person who was conducting himself in a disorderly way, and, worse of all, for being a closeted homo in Idaho. Now it’s time to move to Miami, get a pool boy, and disappear into obscurity.
Moscow may be less free after Monday’s vote. Monday, Moscow City Council voted on an amendment to the city noise ordinance that would get rid of the need for a complaint before police can cite people for violations. The vote paves the way for a new form of pre-textual stop; a kind that targets an individual’s home.
Prior to this vote, officers had to receive a complaint and give the violator a warning. If a neighbor called in a second complaint within 48 hours, the officer could cite the noisy person. Police could not just show up and issue a citation.
Cops now can (assuming the ordinance passed).
Aside from the fact that noisy people might not be bothering anyone around them and the fact that nice neighbors just go ask the loud neighbor to tone it down; my problem is that officers can now have another way to use probable cause to look in our homes.
Picture this: 20 people are hanging out in an apartment drinking libations. Two of those 20 are underage. A cop drives by the apartment and hears some loud laughter and decides that his peace is disturbed. The cop goes up to the apartment door (complete with probable cause) and knocks.
Officer: “Hi there, do you know why I knocked on your door?”
Tenant: “No sir, did someone complain about some noise?”
Officer: “No, I just heard you all from the street. Is that alcohol?”
Tenant: “Yes.”
Officer: “Is there anyone here underage?”
Now comes a decision. Does tenant admit to there being underagers in the home and face a contributing charge OR does she lie and face a charge of providing false info or even obstructing? See the dilemma?
Lately, Moscow has been on a civil liberty violation rampage. Earlier this semester, they passed an ordinance making it illegal for more than four unrelated individuals to live together. Previously it was six. This sounds unconstitutional but no, the Supreme Court has ruled that ordinances like these are a valid use of police powers. So, those of you who are thinking of having your significant other move in with you and your three friends, think again. Or those poor college students who need to split a four-bedroom house five ways: forget it.
City Council elections are coming next month. I suggest you keep these new ordinances in mind when you mark your box. For the record, supporters of the noise bill include: John Weber, Bill Lambert and Mayor Nancy Chaney. At press time there was no word on how Aaron Ament or Linda Pall planned to vote.
A Minnesota judge has refused to allow Sen. Larry Craig (ID-R) to withdraw his guilty plea. Thank god! Why he thought he would be able to anyway is beyond me. The only reason he tried to withdraw is that the plea was made public. He was guilty as charged and needs to face the music.
Now, to all of you who are iffy about what he did being a crime, let me present the following: First, if he was soliciting sex with the man in the stall, he was not trying to get the guy to leave the airport, go to a hotel, mess around and go home. No, he was planning on sex right then and there. If that is unbelievable, look at Craigslist.com. It happens.
Plus, Craig knew what he was doing when he pled guilty. He had two months to consider his plea or consult with an attorney. He did a written plea out of the presence of a judge or a prosecutor. There was no undue pressure from the court or the state. If he didn’t think what he had done was a crime he wouldn’t have pleaded guilty. He’s a senator for Christ’s sake.
So, Mr. Craig, even though you refuse to, you should now resign in shame for being a hypocrite, a person who was conducting himself in a disorderly way, and, worse of all, for being a closeted homo in Idaho. Now it’s time to move to Miami, get a pool boy, and disappear into obscurity.
Monday, September 10, 2007
SODA Drag Show Photos
Friday, Sept. 5, SODA (Sexual Orientation Diversity Alliance) held its annual drag show. Students and a faculty member performed in drag to raise money for SODA. The following are the first set of snap shots from that show.
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