IMAX prompts law school’s move to Boise

by Eric Haley

If you aren’t aware, the law school is about to get a little face lift called Boise. Details are still being worked out and the law school, to some extent, will maintain a Moscow campus but the writing is on the wall, Boise is about to get “Vandalized.”
Dean Seamon sat down with Inter Alia and explained:
The move to Boise is a touchy subject but we have to face the facts, Moscow is never going to get an IMAX theater. The faculty took the annual road trip to Boise this summer and numero uno on the itinerary was Transformers at the IMAX and it did not disappoint.”
However, it did raise questions about the future of the law school. More then once, Professor MacDonald was shooshed for asking “Are you seeing this? Can somebody explain to me why we are in Moscow? Look at the size of that robot! Seriously, anybody, why are we in Moscow when the IMAX is here in Boise, who decides?”
Sure, it was unsettling, but Seamon was determined to exercise caution in the face of the beautiful cinematic experience.
“You can’t just uproot a law school because of a theater……or can you?” he asked
The van ride to Applebee’s was somber to say the least. Professor ONeal tried to lighten the mood with a sarcastic quip, “Hey, what about that preview for the Bee Movie? We can all get together at my place to watch it on the 36 inch flat screen… sigh …when it comes out on DVD.”
Seamon said he was still holding out hope at that point that everyone was just hungry and a Riblet basket would soothe the ache to move to Boise. When they reached Applebee’s, everyone piled out of the van except one fuming individual.
Seamon asked Professor Goble if he wanted to join us for the “Spa for the tastebuds” that is Applebee’s but he gave him a look that made Nietzsche look like Paddington Bear.
“Any hoo, we got our table and the atmosphere was AMAZING!” Seamon said. “A look to the left introduced a happy family laughing as junior dropped his Wingy-ding in his lap, a look to the right would get you a rowdy group of blue-collar workers toasting their beers ‘To Applebees!,’ I tell ya, it was just like the commercials!”
But then the good times were shattered by a tornado of white beard and lockes. Professor Goble stormed the table with a pop quiz.
“Do not turn this over until I say so, you have 20 seconds to finish,” he bellowed.
“For God Sakes, man, how can you do this?!” cried out Dean Brandt.
“This town has a Chilis!” he replied and left the table in the same hurried fashion shaking his head in disappointment and stopping only at the entrance to shout “BEGIN!”
The group flipped the quiz over, and to everyone’s horror, there was only one question: 1. Moscow, WHY? : ( (answer must be 10 words exactly with no words breaching 7 letters).
That was the straw that broke the camel’s back. The group of Applebees goers all looked up, sharing a moment of realization that gives the soul goosebumps.
Finally, Professor Beard spoke up with the shot heard round the state, “Dean, you know it, I know it. Hell junior over yonder with his sloppy-ass wingy ding stained pants knows it. If Idaho Law is going to grow, and by grow I mean be close to the IMAX and anything not Applebees, we have to move the campus to Boise.”
The table went silent until a small, chipper voice broke in:
“Hi my name is Candice, I will be your server, can I start anyone off with some drinks?”
“No thanks Candice, we have a law school to move,” said Professor Anderson. “Ummm… how do you get to Chili’s? Or heck, why not live a little, what about Fridays? T.G.I. Fridays that is.”