College of Law approaches 1,000th “Be quiet” message

by Eric Haley

The students at the University of Idaho School of Law are abuzz this semester and the topic of conversation isn’t as centered around the Judicial branch of government as one might think. The school populace remains on pins and needles eager to watch the shattering of a milestone that many thought could never be reached. The next electronic mail (E-mail) requesting silence in the library will be the school’s 1000th mass communication on the subject.
“Back in 1800-and-something-or-other when the school was founded, the faculty had a bet as to when the school’s postal horseman would deliver the 300th letter requesting silence in the library, consensus was reached on the year 2753”, reported Dean Brandt. “Well, they were way off!”
“They didn’t bother predicting when the 500th mass request would come out because the founding Dean’s felt like the world would have long ceased due to the sun exploding into a red giant before it was necessary.”
University of Idaho Law School Historian Rose Duffy told this Inter Alia insider, “Yep. People have bitched about noise in the library ever since it was necessary to send actual paper mail but the “boo-hooeyness” really hit its stride with the invention of Morse Code. Take a gander at this little piece of University of Idaho Law history dated 1900 and 12 in the year of our Lord: Beep-beep-bu-beep-beep-beep. Can’t translate that? Didn’t think so, guess that is why I am the historian. It says, ‘Students, please be silent in the library, fellow students are trying to study.’ It was transmitted 215 times between 1912 and 1954. A little factoid most students are unaware of dates back to 1953, when a student actually hired a barber shop quartet to deliver a singing telegram to the student body at large requesting…SIIII-LEEENCE in THEEE LIBRARY….uh bom bom bom shooby du wop!”
The world wide web has been the single most important tool in the quest for 1000 by allowing students to tattle at the speed of light however, some students still resist the urge.
Two-L Nick Peterson commented, “I study in the library. Sometimes people walk by me and make eye contact with each other and that alone pisses me off. More then once, this has led to fleeting conversation as they pass by. When it happens, I usually repeat “There’s no place like home” over and over again until the rage subsides. Most of the time it works even if I am not wearing my ruby reds that day. Sure, it would be nice to go messy in my diaper and fire off a complaint to the SBA Sergeant at Arms but if I do I feel like it would just validate these verbal terrorists.”
When asked to gauge the effectiveness of “Be quiet in the library” e-mails on a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being “Yeah, when I read one I am totally reminded of the forgotten fact that the library is not a place to socialize so I shut my trap”) 2L Emma Wilson said, “Oh, I have my email set so that any emails with the words “library and silence” go to my spam folder so I have to give them a 1. But thats changing today out of respect for the 999 tattlers who got us here. My team is thinking about having Powder Puff practice in the second floor just so we can say we were the 1000th. WHOO HOO!