FUISTOS

by Ty Bair

In honor of the graduation of the perennially hard-working LANCE FUISTING, Inter Alia presents
FUISTOS ...

... to Professor LAURIE O’NEAL for hosting a small party at her house in support of the BSA. The party was utterly without incident. No shower doors were broken, no faces were scarred, and no Subarus were barfed within.
... to 1L student MEGAN BARTLEY, who took down third place in the 9th Annual Palouse Invitational Wet T-shirt Contest at the Hyde-Out Tavern in Colfax, Wash. on March 2, besting 2L student TED REINBOLD.
... to 2L student “Anonymous” THOMAS RODGERS, whose first act as SBA Sergeant-at-Arms was to ban full golf swings in the basement. The new policy will still allow chips, flops, putts, pitches, punches and “other utility shots.”
... to 2L student WILLIAM KENDALL FLETCHER on finally resetting the clock. He just now realized it was daylight savings time.
... to 5L student BRIAN BUCKHAM, whose knowledge of Criminal Law will soon be tested for the 400-500th times.

Kudos...

by Ty Bair

... to Professor DALE “PAPPY” GOBLE, who struck gold while panning a local creek. A nationally renowned expert in biodiversity law and amateur prospector, Professor Goble exclaimed, “YEEEE HOWDY! IT’S THE MOTHER LODE!” and then performed an exuberant dance while banging together two cast-iron pans
.... to 1L student BRANDON SMITH, for consistently leveling up while playing “World of Warcraft” in Contracts.
... to 2L student TEDDY REINBOLD, who took down fourth place in the 9th Annual Palouse Invitational Wet T-Shirt Contest at the Hyde-Out Tavern in Colfax, Wash. on March.
... to 2L student JOSHUA P.
MCCARTHY, whose band, Weezer, has announced plans for a finals concert at the College of Law. Joshua looks just like Buddy Holly—oh oh—and you’re Mary Tyler Moore.