After a heated competition for Idaho Law Review editor, Lindsey Simon emerged victorious as the third-place runner up.
“This is just so exciting,” Simon said at a press conference held in the Second Floor broom closet. “There is nothing more invigorating than knowing that I don’t have to be the editor-in-chief.”
The law review held its primary election Feb. 12, which resulted in very few votes for Simon.
“Why anyone would want to do that job is beyond me,” Simon said. “I feel great that my classmates think so highly of me that they wouldn’t make me be the editor.”
Because Simon was the only one with a majority, the law review had to hold a runoff election between Brad Webber and Ty Bair to decide who would be stuck as editor. In the end, Webber won out.
“Man, Ty’s classmates must really hate him,” said out-going editor Brian Wonderlich. “I’ve never seen a run-off election that was so one-sided before. Brad just plain killed him.”
“I’m really excited with the result,” said second-year Katherine Spenner. “I was worried people would dislike me enough to make me run for editor. But my classmates love me! Thank God.”
“Ty really didn’t deserve to get stuck with the editorship,” Mike Hanby said. “Sure, he stinks up the office sometimes but he is a nice enough guy. I feel bad.”
Simon also said she feels bad for Bair.
“I have nothing against Ty,” she said. “It sucks that he has to be EIC but I am really excited that he’s the editor. This way I still have time for friends, family, homework, and stalking middle-aged law professors.”
“Plus,” she added, “if Webber or I got it, we might end up having to miss classes and, unlike Ty, we don’t really want to.”
Of course, not everyone is excited about the outcome.
“Look, there is no way people dislike me this much,” Bair said. “I mean, yes, I have made some people mad during the year but I don’t think I deserve this just because I played some pranks against Rob (
“Yeah, he deserved it,”
Even though Bair is unhappy with the result, he has decided to accept them. However, not all former candidates are willing to go quietly into the night.
“OK, I am not going to cry ‘sexist’ here, but there was clearly an anti-male bias among the voters this year,” second-place runner up Webber said. “I mean, look at the results. Two men and one woman run and the woman gets out first? Sounds fishy to me.”
Gender certainly could have played into the election. Polling prior to Election Day suggested that 25-year-old brunette female voters from
Webber also said he believes ballot box tampering may have changed the results. He said that he thought he saw Simon remove some ballots that had her name on them.
But that’s not all.
“You should have seen it. Lindsey went around telling people that her name was Brad Webber.”
Simon denies all wrongdoing but does admit a little electioneering.
“It’s not my fault the guys didn’t campaign correctly.” Simon said. “They are just jealous that I won.”
Even with the allegations of election tampering and bias, no one plans to challenge the result for fear that a recount would prove that Webber won.
“I’m glad I can spend time with my family still, but I really wanted to be out of the running early on.” Webber said.
The next step is for Bair to create his cabinet. Preliminary reports suggest that Bair has forced Simon and Mindy Willman to be his managing editors and Kristi Wilson to be the executive editor.
Bair’s choices suggest that he might actually think there is something to Webber’s accusations of sexism and he is lashing out.
“I don’t know what I’ve ever done to him,” Willman said. “Seriously, why does my third year have to be ruined because Ty is angry at women.”
“What a jerk,”
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