Supreme Court Holds Guantanamo a Valid Terry Stop

by Lindsey Simon and Sean Neahusan

The United State Supreme Court issued its opinion today in Boumediene v. Bush, the controversial case that challenged the constitutionality of the Guantanamo Bay detention camps. In a shocking move, the Court upheld the constitutionality of the camps, not under the habeas corpus theory argued by the government, but instead on the grounds that detention at Guantanamo Bay amounted to a mere Terry stop.

In his plurality opinion Justice Antonin Scalia wrote that neither the indefinite detentions, denial of access to legal counsel, prolonged isolations nor water boarding at Guantanamo elevated the seizures above the

level of a lesser-intrusive

contact first described in Terry v. Ohio. Thus the government need only show the presence of “specific particularly facts that support a reasonable belief that criminal activity was afoot” in order to justify the detentions. “Plainly put,” wrote the plurality, “Guantanamo is totally reasonable.”

Justice Scalia’s opinion also hinted that the plurality didn’t even believe the inquiry reached the issue of reasonableness stating, “The government may have conceded that this was a detention, but we’re not even sure about that. The plaintiffs in this case were certainly free to leave the encounter. Heck, I’m pretty sure all you need to get out of Cuba is a bathtub with a makeshift sail. Doesn’t anyone remember Elian Gonzalez? But more importantly, why would anyone want to leave? I’ve seen Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights at least a dozen times. Cuba looks awesome!”

Justice Clarence Thomas concurred in the result, but wrote: “The text of the Constitution is conspicuously silent on the issue of Islamofacist terrorists kept at a U.S. military base in Cuba. Ergo, the Court has no business hearing this case.”

Many view this decision to be the pièce de résistance in the Court’s long and slow attack on the Fourth Amendment. Justice Anthony Kennedy took a candid approach in his concurrence when he stated, “Come on, this can’t be a surprise. We said forcing a woman to crap in a trashcan was reasonable!” See United States v. Montoya De Hernandez, 473 U.S. 531 (1985).

The response from the dissenting justices was stark, pessimistic and unprecedented. In her dissent Justice Ginsberg penned a letter to former Justice Sandra Day O’Connor: “Dear Sandy, are you sure you don’t want to come back? This place is going to hell in a hand basket. Let me know if you change your mind. I’ve got connections; I can make sure an opening comes up. I know people. —Ruth.”

Likewise, Justice John Paul Stevens didn’t write a dissent so much as a directive to his clerks. “I need a memo ASAP on the definition of ‘during good behavior’ in Article III section 1. Specifically focus in on whether a justice who is cryogenically frozen can satisfy that requirement. Those bastards think they can beat me by waiting for me to die, do they? I’ll show them. P.S., call Ted Williams’s family.”

The most telling dissent came from Justices Breyer and Souter, who in a joint opinion stated simply, “Screw you guys, we’re moving to Canada.”

THIS AIN’T NO LAUGHING MATTER!

By Mellisa Maxwell

Some people feel it is odd that one of our professors has the exact same thing for lunch every day. I find comfort in it. It’s not that I don’t handle changes per se –– I just have some quirks. I am quirky. For example, I don’t like watches; I can’t handle the ticking noise. I like patterns and order. I hate plastic grocery bags, not because they are environmentally unfriendly but because the paper bags are more like little boxes and thus more organized.

I find comfort in routine.

This past Friday was not good for me. I walked into the handwriting room to take my PR final and discovered that someone was in my seat. Yes, the same seat that I have sat in and taken my finals in for every final of every semester. I promptly made the offender move! Actually, I really didn’t—I merely shrugged it off and sat elsewhere, pretending it didn’t bother me. Fortunately, the person was kind enough to realize how much it bothered me and order was once again restored. Or so I thought!

We all went into the classroom to get our finals; it was a little different since it was in room 104 and that was bothersome. However, once Susan went over the instructions we sat there staring at her, awaiting the traditional joke. But we were not met with the familiar light-hearted, utterly non-offensive joke that we have all relied on to level us during the apprehension of finals. Instead we received devastating news! Susan is not allowed to tell jokes anymore! Are you kidding me! I depend on that. It breaks the routine! I was a mess.

How could I take a final without hearing a joke? Fortunately, Jordan Taylor came to my rescue and told me a joke as quickly as he could. Sadly, it was not the same. My PR grade is in shambles. I blame no one other than the fun-hater who complained. I urge the rest of you fun-haters—you know who you are—to think about more than just yourselves when you get a bee in your bonnet and go running to the complaint box (I assume that there must be one, with all the complaining going on). Start thinking about the rest of the people in the school who might enjoy, if not depend on, the very thing you are complaining about. Clearly, you have nothing better to do if you are mad about a joke.

Mississippi Center for Justice – Track I North Gulfport Community Land Trust

by Anna Faller

Over the past week a group of us have been working with the North Gulfport Community Land Trust surveying the northern neighborhood of North Gulfport. On August 29, 2005 the city was hit by the strong eastern side of Hurricane Katrina. Gulfport was devastated. Almost three years later, this community is slowly coming back. There is continuous construction, and the city is placing a special emphasis on development according to Smart Code. Smart Code emphasizes preservation of the historic architecture of a community while also creating walkable communities.

The issue we were surveying involved the plans of the Port Authority to expand the local port. As part of the expansion, the Port Authority is planning to build an inland storage facility in North Gulfport. The proposed storage facility is right in the middle of a neighborhood. The facility will require filling in 70 acres of wetlands, making an already low lying area even more susceptible to flooding. Additionally, the facility will be used to store large containers, machinery, and because the need to refrigerate their cargo, diesel trucks running all night.

Erika and I accompanied by our “escort” Shirley set out to find out what members of North Gulfport had to say about the expansion. The Land Trust set us up with escorts from North Gulfport so there would be someone familiar with neighborhood as well as its residents. The comments we received were hardly surprising…most folks had not heard of the expansion much less knew that it was going to be put in right in their back yards. The reactions to our remarks were mixed and often heart breaking. Most importantly the port expansion project is being financed by diverting 600 million dollars from the housing recovery fund. The need for housing is still so great, however, the port is the life line for this community. The port provides jobs and prior to Katrina there were even more jobs. We were talking to folks whose families had worked for the port for several generations. The ideological struggle was obvious in discussing the negative repercussions of having the inland port built so close to their community and going against a company that had given their families so much. Responses we received included, “Its coming anyways…”; “A man can endure almost anything….”. There were people in support due to the promise of more jobs, and the proposed addition also included more casinos with the promise of revenues for roads and schools. When we discussed the positives with people there was a substantial amount of skepticism. One came to the quick realization that politics/racism largely interfered with this neighborhood seeing a dollar of the promised revenues.

The experience has been indescribable. Going door to door and being welcomed into people’s homes was so wonderful. Everyone was so grateful for the work we were doing there and equally appreciative that we are aware of the effects of Katrina nearly three years later. It felt really good to be working for a community that had continuously been ignored by the greater population of MS and giving a voice to people that perhaps hadn’t this opportunity before. The ignorance of the greater population was thrown in our faces when we stopped at a local McDonalds to get directions to North Gulfport. After asking directions we were told by one of the white patrons, “You know that is an all black neighborhood right?” Going door to door for four days allowed us to interact with many lovely people. There is still so much work to be done in Gulfport, but there is an underlying strength that reminds one that whatever the impacts of Mother Nature, people will manage to put their lives back together. Perhaps one of the most poignant conversations I had was with a man named Mr. Johnson*. When discussing everything from the port expansion project to the upcoming presidential elections, his wise words should resonate with us all. He said that in all the talk of rebuilding after Katrina and as well as the upcoming presidential election, there is a vital message missing. Love thy neighbor. If people actually cared what happened to each other regardless of race, sexual orientation, ethnicity, economic status, the world would be a different place. Maybe people would care more that there were still people living in card board boxes, tents, poisoned FEMA trailers, and think twice before putting an industrial facility next to someone’s home.

Executive Toys

By: Michael Witry
It's the time of year when 3Ls begin to think, "Wow, soon I'll have a job. And an office. Oh God - I'm going to need to get an executive toy for my office! Whatever should I choose?" Lucky for you I've put together a short review of several popular executive toys, as seen at officeplayground.com.

• Newton's Cradle. Perhaps the quintessential executive toy, you may also know it as "those clacking balls." It's a fantastic demonstration of one of Newton's Laws, but he wrote a few of them so I can't remember which one it is off hand. (Conservation of Momentum? Is that a law?) The web site that's attempting to sell me one gives me a helpful disclaimer: "Please note, the balls do not swing indefinitely and eventually stop." Well, dammit, I was going to use it as a source of free perpetual motion energy to power all of the Treasure Valley, but it looks like that's out of the question. I give it a C.

• Miniature Zen Rock Garden. It's a plate of sand with some rocks in it and a Lilliputian rake. You're supposed to rake the sand around the rocks to create pleasing designs and achieve inner peace. Call me crazy, but I'm not comfortable turning aspects of somebody else's religion into my personal stress toy. It makes me wonder if on the far side of the world, office managers are decorating their desks with miniature Gardens of Gethsemane. C-.

• Plasma Ball. Awww, hell yeah! It's nice to see that somebody else has the idea of "office as mad scientist's lair," or at least "office as storeroom for leftover props from Beakman's World." If I were going whole-hog on this theme, I might also spring for a Van de Graaf generator (that big ball thing that creates static-electricity lightning and makes your hair stand on end) and a pipe organ on which to play menacing tunes. No, scratch that - a theremin. (Theremins are radio boxes played by waving your hands over them. They're rad.) A.

• Koosh Ball. Yes, they're fun to throw and catch, but if you had any when you were a kid, you know that after time, the sticky stuff that holds it together gathers up a lot of gunk. After a year or so, it's really only fit for your pets (or for donating to St. Vincent de Paul). C.

• Woolly Willy. The appeal of Willy is somewhat diminished to my generation. We've had technology like this for years - we could just take Willy's face and draw on it in MS Paint. (Just be sure to keep that magnet away from the hard drive.) Still, Willy appeals to a retro market, as does his siblings, Hair-do Harriet and Create-a-Commie (!) It might be a good call if you're working with baby boom clients, but then you should finish the job and redecorate your office with plastic chairs, a boomerang-patterned aqua Formica counter, and some contraband lawn darts. B.

For my money, you can't beat Legos as an office toy. Some of you will build elaborate cities, and some of you will put one guy on a flat red piece and pretend he's skateboarding. The appeal is equal. Furthermore, you'll have an instant client screening tool: anyone who doesn't like Legos is not to be trusted.

Since this is my last piece for Inter Alia, I'd like to thank you all for reading. Many of you have made my life more interesting; I hope I've done the same for you.

Obama Skeptical About Chances in Idaho

Barak Obama revealed today that his campaign strategy, presumably focused on winning the Presidential election, did not include any campaigning efforts in the state of Idaho. At a press conference in Michigan today, the presidential hopeful was asked about his strategy in Idaho to which he responded, "The good people of Idaho have seen my voting record on potatoes and sugar beets, it is obvious I am for both. Also, I don't like to brag, but the last time I was fly fishing south of Boise, an emaciated Salmon leapt from the water into my arms, all famished and looking homeless. My opponent is on the record stating, "Salmon are stupid, "F" salmon right in their fishy "A". I disagree with that point of view. "When that salmon landed in my arms I nourished it from my own teet. I also burped the salmon. And then…..I showed it how to spawn…..wait….I can't do this. Okay, here's the deal, let me be real about Idaho. I am probably not going to win this state because I am a Democrat and then there's the pink elephant in the corner of the room that no one wants to mention so let me throw it out there. "Yes...I am a junior Senator, happy now? This may sound funny but I am actually rooting for McCain in Idaho. I had this shirt made for friends and family that says on the front, "I ran for President and all I lost was Idaho, Arkansas, and Texas…"and then on the back it says, "But I still got this lousy T-shirt!" If I may borrow from one of the great thespians, "Larry the Cable Guy", "I don't care who you are, that's funny!" Also, the shirts cost like $475.00 and it would be a shame for them to go to waste."

youporn.com (and the downfall of mankind)

by Aaron Crary
Last year, while attending Con Law class with my most favorite teacher at the law school, Jimmy MacDonald, some issues were brought up that sparked my interest. While partaking in our whirlwind ride of the first amendment, we got onto the topic of pornography and the possible evils that stem from its proliferation.
There was a comment made by a class member in an attempt to tout some of pornography’s evil attributes: “Hitler”, this nice but misguided sole offered up before her pears, “before putting his troops into battle showed them pornography.” This claim, as fascinating as it may be, represents one of the arguments forwarded in class as to why pornography is evil.
There were two major arguments brought up that I can remember. The first argument represents the belief that pornography increases violence and aggression among society. The second belief put forth being that pornography degrades the status of women.
To start by addressing this former claim, I myself can’t rationalize how pornography increases violence or aggression. To me, the fact that a bar full of young college females can pacify even the biggest meat head would be proof to any Freudian that sex quells man’s most aggressive instincts. I mean, sex (or the possibility of sex) just does not make me angry or want to fight. There is really something liberating and relaxing about taking care of the male urge in all of us.
Which leads me to wonder how an army full of soldiers would have faired had they actually been shown porn before fighting. Rather than going out and fighting, had the men been watching porn I think they would have spent most the day putting their feat up, smoking cigars and drinking a beer instead.
Similarly, if they had porn already, they would have no reason to leave and fight someone, that is, unless of course Poland or some other nation had taken and hidden their porn.
Likewise, I find it hard to rationalize the view that pornography degrades the status of women. Again, it seems to me that pornography does quite the opposite.
Imagine if you will the common situation where a guy sitting at his computer, pants at his ankles, studiously watching every movement of that female image on his monitor screen as if this woman is about to tell him the secret of life. No, that’s not demeaning. That’s flattering. That woman is a star; a porn star; one to be worshiped.
No, I will tell you the problem with porn today. The problem is the impact porn has on our male productivity. For instance, the website youporn.com, which allegedly brings in over $100,000 a month in advertising (www.wickipedia.org; courtesy of my good friend and fellow 3L member Will Fletcher) makes porn so available that you never have need to see the same video twice. And these such options are so powerful they can arouse the curiosity of even the most focused of men.
This makes it hard to function from day to day. Precisely the reason I do not have internet at home, with your computer in you lap you have countless hours and hours of new porn everyday at your fingertips. It is very difficult to refrain from this gift that has been handed to all of us. Thus, instead of the normal daily productive cycle many of us are used to, time and time again we revert back to see what new reward is in store for us.
So, yes, porn is evil, but not for any constitutional reason. The evil is that men are finding very little time to do other things during the day than watch porn. And until men can find balance among this mine field youporn.com and many of its sister cites have now presented us with, woman may be getting the upper hand us all, leaving men in the dust.