by R.J. Linnan
• If I ever meet this McNichols guy, I’m gonna kick him in the nuts
• Wait. Jimmy Mac is getting sued?!
• Neil! Eat a bagel.
• Doesn’t study group imply that we should all be participating and not just tutoring one selfish asshole?
• What the hell does sustainability mean anyway? What are we trying to sustain, the shortage?
• I am not saying shit, I don’t want Salma to kick my ass.
• If they made yellow earbuds, do you think they would blend into my hair so that I could watch youtube in class?
• What are these books always doing here? Oh, they’re library books.
• Wait… is she CRYING?
• Oh WOW, Dude, you’ve got a strong stomach. That girl REEKS.
• Yeah, well I went to see Oprah, and got fuck all.
• I wanted to sing Hootie, and she cued It’s Raining Men.
• J. Miller makes a reference to Baron Harkonnen and suddenly all geeks in our class have been identified
Monday, October 8, 2007
Please, let me enjoy my romance novels
by Lindsey Simon
Law school has ruined a lot of things for me, like enjoying Law & Order and my capacity to be interesting to anyone not in law school. But of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my ability to suspend belief enough to enjoy cheesy romance novels the most.
Family law has been particularly destructive. After we learned that in many states unwed fathers must file with the putative father registry before or soon after the birth of the child in order to assert their paternal rights against an uncooperative mother. I was shocked! What does this do to one of my favorite romance novel plot devices (the good ol’ we-had-a-one-night-stand-and-you-got-pregnant-but-never-told-me-so-now-I’m-going-to-force-you-to-marry-me-or-live-with-me-under-threat-of-a-custody-battle-but-eventually-we-will-fall-in-love story line)? Don’t the heroines/mothers know that it would be very difficult for the heroes/fathers to win such a custody battle because they hadn’t registered? Then again, maybe the hero would have a claim if it’s not really his fault that he didn’t register because he was in prison when the baby was born since he met the heroine and they conceived the child after he escaped from prison and kidnapped her as his hostage but of course she succumbed to his rugged sensuality… (Yes, this is a real plot from a book, and yes, I read it. Don’t judge me.)
But what if hero wasn’t in prison and just dropped the heroine off at the airport after their one-time weekend fling?
Even if he is a professional hockey player, should he be able to threaten the heroine with a custody battle six years later until she agrees to let him see their daughter? The heroine should have seen a lawyer. —even if she was still hopelessly attracted to him—because clearly the deadbeat hero should have registered or checked in with her once or twice during the past six years if he was genuinely concerned with any potential offspring from the passionate affair. (Another real book. And yes, I read it, too.)
Oh well. At least I can say that they provide useful hypothetical fact patterns for Family Law problems. But I guess I should just accept that law school will claim my love of silly romance novels, along with my soul.
Law school has ruined a lot of things for me, like enjoying Law & Order and my capacity to be interesting to anyone not in law school. But of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my ability to suspend belief enough to enjoy cheesy romance novels the most.
Family law has been particularly destructive. After we learned that in many states unwed fathers must file with the putative father registry before or soon after the birth of the child in order to assert their paternal rights against an uncooperative mother. I was shocked! What does this do to one of my favorite romance novel plot devices (the good ol’ we-had-a-one-night-stand-and-you-got-pregnant-but-never-told-me-so-now-I’m-going-to-force-you-to-marry-me-or-live-with-me-under-threat-of-a-custody-battle-but-eventually-we-will-fall-in-love story line)? Don’t the heroines/mothers know that it would be very difficult for the heroes/fathers to win such a custody battle because they hadn’t registered? Then again, maybe the hero would have a claim if it’s not really his fault that he didn’t register because he was in prison when the baby was born since he met the heroine and they conceived the child after he escaped from prison and kidnapped her as his hostage but of course she succumbed to his rugged sensuality… (Yes, this is a real plot from a book, and yes, I read it. Don’t judge me.)
But what if hero wasn’t in prison and just dropped the heroine off at the airport after their one-time weekend fling?
Even if he is a professional hockey player, should he be able to threaten the heroine with a custody battle six years later until she agrees to let him see their daughter? The heroine should have seen a lawyer. —even if she was still hopelessly attracted to him—because clearly the deadbeat hero should have registered or checked in with her once or twice during the past six years if he was genuinely concerned with any potential offspring from the passionate affair. (Another real book. And yes, I read it, too.)
Oh well. At least I can say that they provide useful hypothetical fact patterns for Family Law problems. But I guess I should just accept that law school will claim my love of silly romance novels, along with my soul.
Check it Out
Don’t have enough to read? The law library has some new, interesting books
by Anne Buike
Richard Posner’s The Little Book of Plagiarism (KF 1485 P67 2007) recently arrived at your law library and Judge Posner has packed a hot topic into the palm of your hand. His tome is an environmentally friendly 4.2 x 6.2 x 0.8 inches and won’t overtake your carrel, or thwart precious space previously allotted to your iPod jam packed with illegally obtained music in your designer bag. Furthermore Posner gives you something to say in a conversation with new Intellectual Property faculty member Annemarie Bridy, and also tips for your legal research. According to Amazon, people who purchased this book also purchased “Supreme Conflict : the inside story of the struggle for control of the United States Supreme Court” by Jan Greenberg, which is located at KF 8742 G74 2007.
Failure to Protect: America’s
Sexual Predator Laws and the Rise of the Preventive State (KF 9325 J36 2006) by Eric Janus. Janus has written a book that may support your right to MySpace and Facebook freely. He discusses the result of elected officials and the media in regards to legislation and report of strangers as predators in relation to sexual violence. He has a different approach to preventing sexual violence, and it doesn’t involve setting up a sting operation with a Yahoo! Profile and having Chris Hansen with Dateline NBC on scene. Lastly, Janus critiques the “preventative state” and how it can affect civil liberties.
A Botanic Garden for the Nation: The United State Botanic Garden is perfect for the law student who is tired of reading, and would enjoy going back to a simpler time in life, reading books with lots of pictures. This government-produced book is rife with amazing full color photos of the grounds and specimens of the Botanic Garden located in our Nation’s Capital, Washington DC. Take a mini mental vaca and gaze upon pages 78 – 97, and imagine you are not sitting in the basement of the Menard Law Building and someone nearby has something stinky for lunch, but you are hiking through a jungle or a rainforest of a far off land. If you enjoy good espresso, don’t miss page 158 and the Bartholdi fountain, which can only create a relaxing feeling of being in Europe next summer after the school year has ended. Anne-Catherine Fallen has worked magic with her photographic eye, and with the Government Printing Office has created a masterpiece that is located at QK 73 U62 U553 2007.
by Anne Buike
Richard Posner’s The Little Book of Plagiarism (KF 1485 P67 2007) recently arrived at your law library and Judge Posner has packed a hot topic into the palm of your hand. His tome is an environmentally friendly 4.2 x 6.2 x 0.8 inches and won’t overtake your carrel, or thwart precious space previously allotted to your iPod jam packed with illegally obtained music in your designer bag. Furthermore Posner gives you something to say in a conversation with new Intellectual Property faculty member Annemarie Bridy, and also tips for your legal research. According to Amazon, people who purchased this book also purchased “Supreme Conflict : the inside story of the struggle for control of the United States Supreme Court” by Jan Greenberg, which is located at KF 8742 G74 2007.
Failure to Protect: America’s
Sexual Predator Laws and the Rise of the Preventive State (KF 9325 J36 2006) by Eric Janus. Janus has written a book that may support your right to MySpace and Facebook freely. He discusses the result of elected officials and the media in regards to legislation and report of strangers as predators in relation to sexual violence. He has a different approach to preventing sexual violence, and it doesn’t involve setting up a sting operation with a Yahoo! Profile and having Chris Hansen with Dateline NBC on scene. Lastly, Janus critiques the “preventative state” and how it can affect civil liberties. A Botanic Garden for the Nation: The United State Botanic Garden is perfect for the law student who is tired of reading, and would enjoy going back to a simpler time in life, reading books with lots of pictures. This government-produced book is rife with amazing full color photos of the grounds and specimens of the Botanic Garden located in our Nation’s Capital, Washington DC. Take a mini mental vaca and gaze upon pages 78 – 97, and imagine you are not sitting in the basement of the Menard Law Building and someone nearby has something stinky for lunch, but you are hiking through a jungle or a rainforest of a far off land. If you enjoy good espresso, don’t miss page 158 and the Bartholdi fountain, which can only create a relaxing feeling of being in Europe next summer after the school year has ended. Anne-Catherine Fallen has worked magic with her photographic eye, and with the Government Printing Office has created a masterpiece that is located at QK 73 U62 U553 2007.
A Little Stress Relief
by Michael Witry
Are you feeling a little blue right now? Got the weight of the world on your shoulders? Finding law school a little too tough? Well, I’ve been there too. If you’re down and out and need a little ray of sunshine in your life, why not remind yourself of all the good things in life by singing a little song? Here’s a ditty I like to sing when I’m down in the dumps.
O Fortuna
velut luna
statu variabilis,
semper crescis
aut decrescis;
vita detestabilis
nunc obdurat
et tunc curat
ludo mentis aciem,
egestatem,
potestatem
dissolvit ut glaciem.
Sors immanis
et inanis,
rota tu volubilis,
nunc per ludum
dorsum nudum
fero tui sceleris.
Sors salutis
et virtutis
michi nunc contraria,
est affectus
et defectus
semper in angaria.
Hac in hora
sine mora
corde pulsum tangite;
quod per sortem
sternit fortem,
mecum omnes plangite!
Just don’t sing too loudly when your neighbors are trying to study.
Are you feeling a little blue right now? Got the weight of the world on your shoulders? Finding law school a little too tough? Well, I’ve been there too. If you’re down and out and need a little ray of sunshine in your life, why not remind yourself of all the good things in life by singing a little song? Here’s a ditty I like to sing when I’m down in the dumps.
O Fortuna
velut luna
statu variabilis,
semper crescis
aut decrescis;
vita detestabilis
nunc obdurat
et tunc curat
ludo mentis aciem,
egestatem,
potestatem
dissolvit ut glaciem.
Sors immanis
et inanis,
rota tu volubilis,
nunc per ludum
dorsum nudum
fero tui sceleris.
Sors salutis
et virtutis
michi nunc contraria,
est affectus
et defectus
semper in angaria.
Hac in hora
sine mora
corde pulsum tangite;
quod per sortem
sternit fortem,
mecum omnes plangite!
Just don’t sing too loudly when your neighbors are trying to study.
Pieces of My Mind
by Josh Studor
Moscow may be less free after Monday’s vote. Monday, Moscow City Council voted on an amendment to the city noise ordinance that would get rid of the need for a complaint before police can cite people for violations. The vote paves the way for a new form of pre-textual stop; a kind that targets an individual’s home.
Prior to this vote, officers had to receive a complaint and give the violator a warning. If a neighbor called in a second complaint within 48 hours, the officer could cite the noisy person. Police could not just show up and issue a citation.
Cops now can (assuming the ordinance passed).
Aside from the fact that noisy people might not be bothering anyone around them and the fact that nice neighbors just go ask the loud neighbor to tone it down; my problem is that officers can now have another way to use probable cause to look in our homes.
Picture this: 20 people are hanging out in an apartment drinking libations. Two of those 20 are underage. A cop drives by the apartment and hears some loud laughter and decides that his peace is disturbed. The cop goes up to the apartment door (complete with probable cause) and knocks.
Officer: “Hi there, do you know why I knocked on your door?”
Tenant: “No sir, did someone complain about some noise?”
Officer: “No, I just heard you all from the street. Is that alcohol?”
Tenant: “Yes.”
Officer: “Is there anyone here underage?”
Now comes a decision. Does tenant admit to there being underagers in the home and face a contributing charge OR does she lie and face a charge of providing false info or even obstructing? See the dilemma?
Lately, Moscow has been on a civil liberty violation rampage. Earlier this semester, they passed an ordinance making it illegal for more than four unrelated individuals to live together. Previously it was six. This sounds unconstitutional but no, the Supreme Court has ruled that ordinances like these are a valid use of police powers. So, those of you who are thinking of having your significant other move in with you and your three friends, think again. Or those poor college students who need to split a four-bedroom house five ways: forget it.
City Council elections are coming next month. I suggest you keep these new ordinances in mind when you mark your box. For the record, supporters of the noise bill include: John Weber, Bill Lambert and Mayor Nancy Chaney. At press time there was no word on how Aaron Ament or Linda Pall planned to vote.
A Minnesota judge has refused to allow Sen. Larry Craig (ID-R) to withdraw his guilty plea. Thank god! Why he thought he would be able to anyway is beyond me. The only reason he tried to withdraw is that the plea was made public. He was guilty as charged and needs to face the music.
Now, to all of you who are iffy about what he did being a crime, let me present the following: First, if he was soliciting sex with the man in the stall, he was not trying to get the guy to leave the airport, go to a hotel, mess around and go home. No, he was planning on sex right then and there. If that is unbelievable, look at Craigslist.com. It happens.
Plus, Craig knew what he was doing when he pled guilty. He had two months to consider his plea or consult with an attorney. He did a written plea out of the presence of a judge or a prosecutor. There was no undue pressure from the court or the state. If he didn’t think what he had done was a crime he wouldn’t have pleaded guilty. He’s a senator for Christ’s sake.
So, Mr. Craig, even though you refuse to, you should now resign in shame for being a hypocrite, a person who was conducting himself in a disorderly way, and, worse of all, for being a closeted homo in Idaho. Now it’s time to move to Miami, get a pool boy, and disappear into obscurity.
Moscow may be less free after Monday’s vote. Monday, Moscow City Council voted on an amendment to the city noise ordinance that would get rid of the need for a complaint before police can cite people for violations. The vote paves the way for a new form of pre-textual stop; a kind that targets an individual’s home.
Prior to this vote, officers had to receive a complaint and give the violator a warning. If a neighbor called in a second complaint within 48 hours, the officer could cite the noisy person. Police could not just show up and issue a citation.
Cops now can (assuming the ordinance passed).
Aside from the fact that noisy people might not be bothering anyone around them and the fact that nice neighbors just go ask the loud neighbor to tone it down; my problem is that officers can now have another way to use probable cause to look in our homes.
Picture this: 20 people are hanging out in an apartment drinking libations. Two of those 20 are underage. A cop drives by the apartment and hears some loud laughter and decides that his peace is disturbed. The cop goes up to the apartment door (complete with probable cause) and knocks.
Officer: “Hi there, do you know why I knocked on your door?”
Tenant: “No sir, did someone complain about some noise?”
Officer: “No, I just heard you all from the street. Is that alcohol?”
Tenant: “Yes.”
Officer: “Is there anyone here underage?”
Now comes a decision. Does tenant admit to there being underagers in the home and face a contributing charge OR does she lie and face a charge of providing false info or even obstructing? See the dilemma?
Lately, Moscow has been on a civil liberty violation rampage. Earlier this semester, they passed an ordinance making it illegal for more than four unrelated individuals to live together. Previously it was six. This sounds unconstitutional but no, the Supreme Court has ruled that ordinances like these are a valid use of police powers. So, those of you who are thinking of having your significant other move in with you and your three friends, think again. Or those poor college students who need to split a four-bedroom house five ways: forget it.
City Council elections are coming next month. I suggest you keep these new ordinances in mind when you mark your box. For the record, supporters of the noise bill include: John Weber, Bill Lambert and Mayor Nancy Chaney. At press time there was no word on how Aaron Ament or Linda Pall planned to vote.
A Minnesota judge has refused to allow Sen. Larry Craig (ID-R) to withdraw his guilty plea. Thank god! Why he thought he would be able to anyway is beyond me. The only reason he tried to withdraw is that the plea was made public. He was guilty as charged and needs to face the music.
Now, to all of you who are iffy about what he did being a crime, let me present the following: First, if he was soliciting sex with the man in the stall, he was not trying to get the guy to leave the airport, go to a hotel, mess around and go home. No, he was planning on sex right then and there. If that is unbelievable, look at Craigslist.com. It happens.
Plus, Craig knew what he was doing when he pled guilty. He had two months to consider his plea or consult with an attorney. He did a written plea out of the presence of a judge or a prosecutor. There was no undue pressure from the court or the state. If he didn’t think what he had done was a crime he wouldn’t have pleaded guilty. He’s a senator for Christ’s sake.
So, Mr. Craig, even though you refuse to, you should now resign in shame for being a hypocrite, a person who was conducting himself in a disorderly way, and, worse of all, for being a closeted homo in Idaho. Now it’s time to move to Miami, get a pool boy, and disappear into obscurity.
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