Inter Alia

Inter Alia has been gone for far too long. Why has it been over 2 months since this fantastic blawg has been updated? The answer is very complicated....school wasn't in session. But now it is.

Fall 2008 Issue 3 Click Any Page to Enlarge

2008-11-22T21:55:00.000-08:00

From 2d Issue

Fall 2008 Issue 4---Click any page to enlarge

2008-11-22T21:00:00.000-08:00

From Untitled Album

Fall 2008 Issue 2

2008-11-22T12:26:00.000-08:00

From Other issue

Spring 2008 Issue 5

2008-10-25T14:17:00.000-07:00

From old issue

Spring 2008 Issue 4

2008-10-25T13:54:00.000-07:00

From Spring 2008 1

BERKELEY EXECUTIVES CONVICTED OF CONSPIRACY AND FRAUD IN CONNECTION WITH SALES OF DIETARY SUPPLEMENTS

Fall 2008 Issue 1

2008-09-05T09:52:00.000-07:00

From Spring 2008 2

Supreme Court Holds Guantanamo a Valid Terry Stop

2008-04-16T18:46:00.000-07:00

by Lindsey Simon and Sean Neahusan

The United State Supreme Court issued its opinion today in Boumediene v. Bush, the controversial case that challenged the constitutionality of the Guantanamo Bay detention camps. In a shocking move, the Court upheld the constitutionality of the camps, not under the habeas corpus theory argued by the government, but instead on the grounds that detention at Guantanamo Bay amounted to a mere Terry stop.

In his plurality opinion Justice Antonin Scalia wrote that neither the indefinite detentions, denial of access to legal counsel, prolonged isolations nor water boarding at Guantanamo elevated the seizures above the

level of a lesser-intrusive

contact first described in Terry v. Ohio. Thus the government need only show the presence of “specific particularly facts that support a reasonable belief that criminal activity was afoot” in order to justify the detentions. “Plainly put,” wrote the plurality, “Guantanamo is totally reasonable.”

Justice Scalia’s opinion also hinted that the plurality didn’t even believe the inquiry reached the issue of reasonableness stating, “The government may have conceded that this was a detention, but we’re not even sure about that. The plaintiffs in this case were certainly free to leave the encounter. Heck, I’m pretty sure all you need to get out of Cuba is a bathtub with a makeshift sail. Doesn’t anyone remember Elian Gonzalez? But more importantly, why would anyone want to leave? I’ve seen Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights at least a dozen times. Cuba looks awesome!”

Justice Clarence Thomas concurred in the result, but wrote: “The text of the Constitution is conspicuously silent on the issue of Islamofacist terrorists kept at a U.S. military base in Cuba. Ergo, the Court has no business hearing this case.”

Many view this decision to be the pièce de résistance in the Court’s long and slow attack on the Fourth Amendment. Justice Anthony Kennedy took a candid approach in his concurrence when he stated, “Come on, this can’t be a surprise. We said forcing a woman to crap in a trashcan was reasonable!” See United States v. Montoya De Hernandez, 473 U.S. 531 (1985).

The response from the dissenting justices was stark, pessimistic and unprecedented. In her dissent Justice Ginsberg penned a letter to former Justice Sandra Day O’Connor: “Dear Sandy, are you sure you don’t want to come back? This place is going to hell in a hand basket. Let me know if you change your mind. I’ve got connections; I can make sure an opening comes up. I know people. —Ruth.”

Likewise, Justice John Paul Stevens didn’t write a dissent so much as a directive to his clerks. “I need a memo ASAP on the definition of ‘during good behavior’ in Article III section 1. Specifically focus in on whether a justice who is cryogenically frozen can satisfy that requirement. Those bastards think they can beat me by waiting for me to die, do they? I’ll show them. P.S., call Ted Williams’s family.”

The most telling dissent came from Justices Breyer and Souter, who in a joint opinion stated simply, “Screw you guys, we’re moving to Canada.”

THIS AIN’T NO LAUGHING MATTER!

2008-04-16T18:44:00.000-07:00

By Mellisa Maxwell

Some people feel it is odd that one of our professors has the exact same thing for lunch every day. I find comfort in it. It’s not that I don’t handle changes per se –– I just have some quirks. I am quirky. For example, I don’t like watches; I can’t handle the ticking noise. I like patterns and order. I hate plastic grocery bags, not because they are environmentally unfriendly but because the paper bags are more like little boxes and thus more organized.

I find comfort in routine.

This past Friday was not good for me. I walked into the handwriting room to take my PR final and discovered that someone was in my seat. Yes, the same seat that I have sat in and taken my finals in for every final of every semester. I promptly made the offender move! Actually, I really didn’t—I merely shrugged it off and sat elsewhere, pretending it didn’t bother me. Fortunately, the person was kind enough to realize how much it bothered me and order was once again restored. Or so I thought!

We all went into the classroom to get our finals; it was a little different since it was in room 104 and that was bothersome. However, once Susan went over the instructions we sat there staring at her, awaiting the traditional joke. But we were not met with the familiar light-hearted, utterly non-offensive joke that we have all relied on to level us during the apprehension of finals. Instead we received devastating news! Susan is not allowed to tell jokes anymore! Are you kidding me! I depend on that. It breaks the routine! I was a mess.

How could I take a final without hearing a joke? Fortunately, Jordan Taylor came to my rescue and told me a joke as quickly as he could. Sadly, it was not the same. My PR grade is in shambles. I blame no one other than the fun-hater who complained. I urge the rest of you fun-haters—you know who you are—to think about more than just yourselves when you get a bee in your bonnet and go running to the complaint box (I assume that there must be one, with all the complaining going on). Start thinking about the rest of the people in the school who might enjoy, if not depend on, the very thing you are complaining about. Clearly, you have nothing better to do if you are mad about a joke.

Mississippi Center for Justice – Track I North Gulfport Community Land Trust

2008-04-16T18:38:00.000-07:00

by Anna Faller

Over the past week a group of us have been working with the North Gulfport Community Land Trust surveying the northern neighborhood of North Gulfport. On August 29, 2005 the city was hit by the strong eastern side of Hurricane Katrina. Gulfport was devastated. Almost three years later, this community is slowly coming back. There is continuous construction, and the city is placing a special emphasis on development according to Smart Code. Smart Code emphasizes preservation of the historic architecture of a community while also creating walkable communities.

The issue we were surveying involved the plans of the Port Authority to expand the local port. As part of the expansion, the Port Authority is planning to build an inland storage facility in North Gulfport. The proposed storage facility is right in the middle of a neighborhood. The facility will require filling in 70 acres of wetlands, making an already low lying area even more susceptible to flooding. Additionally, the facility will be used to store large containers, machinery, and because the need to refrigerate their cargo, diesel trucks running all night.

Erika and I accompanied by our “escort” Shirley set out to find out what members of North Gulfport had to say about the expansion. The Land Trust set us up with escorts from North Gulfport so there would be someone familiar with neighborhood as well as its residents. The comments we received were hardly surprising…most folks had not heard of the expansion much less knew that it was going to be put in right in their back yards. The reactions to our remarks were mixed and often heart breaking. Most importantly the port expansion project is being financed by diverting 600 million dollars from the housing recovery fund. The need for housing is still so great, however, the port is the life line for this community. The port provides jobs and prior to Katrina there were even more jobs. We were talking to folks whose families had worked for the port for several generations. The ideological struggle was obvious in discussing the negative repercussions of having the inland port built so close to their community and going against a company that had given their families so much. Responses we received included, “Its coming anyways…”; “A man can endure almost anything….”. There were people in support due to the promise of more jobs, and the proposed addition also included more casinos with the promise of revenues for roads and schools. When we discussed the positives with people there was a substantial amount of skepticism. One came to the quick realization that politics/racism largely interfered with this neighborhood seeing a dollar of the promised revenues.

The experience has been indescribable. Going door to door and being welcomed into people’s homes was so wonderful. Everyone was so grateful for the work we were doing there and equally appreciative that we are aware of the effects of Katrina nearly three years later. It felt really good to be working for a community that had continuously been ignored by the greater population of MS and giving a voice to people that perhaps hadn’t this opportunity before. The ignorance of the greater population was thrown in our faces when we stopped at a local McDonalds to get directions to North Gulfport. After asking directions we were told by one of the white patrons, “You know that is an all black neighborhood right?” Going door to door for four days allowed us to interact with many lovely people. There is still so much work to be done in Gulfport, but there is an underlying strength that reminds one that whatever the impacts of Mother Nature, people will manage to put their lives back together. Perhaps one of the most poignant conversations I had was with a man named Mr. Johnson*. When discussing everything from the port expansion project to the upcoming presidential elections, his wise words should resonate with us all. He said that in all the talk of rebuilding after Katrina and as well as the upcoming presidential election, there is a vital message missing. Love thy neighbor. If people actually cared what happened to each other regardless of race, sexual orientation, ethnicity, economic status, the world would be a different place. Maybe people would care more that there were still people living in card board boxes, tents, poisoned FEMA trailers, and think twice before putting an industrial facility next to someone’s home.

Executive Toys

2008-04-16T18:29:00.000-07:00

By: Michael Witry
It's the time of year when 3Ls begin to think, "Wow, soon I'll have a job. And an office. Oh God - I'm going to need to get an executive toy for my office! Whatever should I choose?" Lucky for you I've put together a short review of several popular executive toys, as seen at officeplayground.com.

• Newton's Cradle. Perhaps the quintessential executive toy, you may also know it as "those clacking balls." It's a fantastic demonstration of one of Newton's Laws, but he wrote a few of them so I can't remember which one it is off hand. (Conservation of Momentum? Is that a law?) The web site that's attempting to sell me one gives me a helpful disclaimer: "Please note, the balls do not swing indefinitely and eventually stop." Well, dammit, I was going to use it as a source of free perpetual motion energy to power all of the Treasure Valley, but it looks like that's out of the question. I give it a C.

• Miniature Zen Rock Garden. It's a plate of sand with some rocks in it and a Lilliputian rake. You're supposed to rake the sand around the rocks to create pleasing designs and achieve inner peace. Call me crazy, but I'm not comfortable turning aspects of somebody else's religion into my personal stress toy. It makes me wonder if on the far side of the world, office managers are decorating their desks with miniature Gardens of Gethsemane. C-.

• Plasma Ball. Awww, hell yeah! It's nice to see that somebody else has the idea of "office as mad scientist's lair," or at least "office as storeroom for leftover props from Beakman's World." If I were going whole-hog on this theme, I might also spring for a Van de Graaf generator (that big ball thing that creates static-electricity lightning and makes your hair stand on end) and a pipe organ on which to play menacing tunes. No, scratch that - a theremin. (Theremins are radio boxes played by waving your hands over them. They're rad.) A.

• Koosh Ball. Yes, they're fun to throw and catch, but if you had any when you were a kid, you know that after time, the sticky stuff that holds it together gathers up a lot of gunk. After a year or so, it's really only fit for your pets (or for donating to St. Vincent de Paul). C.

• Woolly Willy. The appeal of Willy is somewhat diminished to my generation. We've had technology like this for years - we could just take Willy's face and draw on it in MS Paint. (Just be sure to keep that magnet away from the hard drive.) Still, Willy appeals to a retro market, as does his siblings, Hair-do Harriet and Create-a-Commie (!) It might be a good call if you're working with baby boom clients, but then you should finish the job and redecorate your office with plastic chairs, a boomerang-patterned aqua Formica counter, and some contraband lawn darts. B.

For my money, you can't beat Legos as an office toy. Some of you will build elaborate cities, and some of you will put one guy on a flat red piece and pretend he's skateboarding. The appeal is equal. Furthermore, you'll have an instant client screening tool: anyone who doesn't like Legos is not to be trusted.

Since this is my last piece for Inter Alia, I'd like to thank you all for reading. Many of you have made my life more interesting; I hope I've done the same for you.

Obama Skeptical About Chances in Idaho

2008-03-27T10:08:00.000-07:00

Barak Obama revealed today that his campaign strategy, presumably focused on winning the Presidential election, did not include any campaigning efforts in the state of Idaho. At a press conference in Michigan today, the presidential hopeful was asked about his strategy in Idaho to which he responded, "The good people of Idaho have seen my voting record on potatoes and sugar beets, it is obvious I am for both. Also, I don't like to brag, but the last time I was fly fishing south of Boise, an emaciated Salmon leapt from the water into my arms, all famished and looking homeless. My opponent is on the record stating, "Salmon are stupid, "F" salmon right in their fishy "A". I disagree with that point of view. "When that salmon landed in my arms I nourished it from my own teet. I also burped the salmon. And then…..I showed it how to spawn…..wait….I can't do this. Okay, here's the deal, let me be real about Idaho. I am probably not going to win this state because I am a Democrat and then there's the pink elephant in the corner of the room that no one wants to mention so let me throw it out there. "Yes...I am a junior Senator, happy now? This may sound funny but I am actually rooting for McCain in Idaho. I had this shirt made for friends and family that says on the front, "I ran for President and all I lost was Idaho, Arkansas, and Texas…"and then on the back it says, "But I still got this lousy T-shirt!" If I may borrow from one of the great thespians, "Larry the Cable Guy", "I don't care who you are, that's funny!" Also, the shirts cost like $475.00 and it would be a shame for them to go to waste."

youporn.com (and the downfall of mankind)

2008-02-22T15:12:00.001-08:00

by Aaron Crary
Last year, while attending Con Law class with my most favorite teacher at the law school, Jimmy MacDonald, some issues were brought up that sparked my interest. While partaking in our whirlwind ride of the first amendment, we got onto the topic of pornography and the possible evils that stem from its proliferation.
There was a comment made by a class member in an attempt to tout some of pornography’s evil attributes: “Hitler”, this nice but misguided sole offered up before her pears, “before putting his troops into battle showed them pornography.” This claim, as fascinating as it may be, represents one of the arguments forwarded in class as to why pornography is evil.
There were two major arguments brought up that I can remember. The first argument represents the belief that pornography increases violence and aggression among society. The second belief put forth being that pornography degrades the status of women.
To start by addressing this former claim, I myself can’t rationalize how pornography increases violence or aggression. To me, the fact that a bar full of young college females can pacify even the biggest meat head would be proof to any Freudian that sex quells man’s most aggressive instincts. I mean, sex (or the possibility of sex) just does not make me angry or want to fight. There is really something liberating and relaxing about taking care of the male urge in all of us.
Which leads me to wonder how an army full of soldiers would have faired had they actually been shown porn before fighting. Rather than going out and fighting, had the men been watching porn I think they would have spent most the day putting their feat up, smoking cigars and drinking a beer instead.
Similarly, if they had porn already, they would have no reason to leave and fight someone, that is, unless of course Poland or some other nation had taken and hidden their porn.
Likewise, I find it hard to rationalize the view that pornography degrades the status of women. Again, it seems to me that pornography does quite the opposite.
Imagine if you will the common situation where a guy sitting at his computer, pants at his ankles, studiously watching every movement of that female image on his monitor screen as if this woman is about to tell him the secret of life. No, that’s not demeaning. That’s flattering. That woman is a star; a porn star; one to be worshiped.
No, I will tell you the problem with porn today. The problem is the impact porn has on our male productivity. For instance, the website youporn.com, which allegedly brings in over $100,000 a month in advertising (www.wickipedia.org; courtesy of my good friend and fellow 3L member Will Fletcher) makes porn so available that you never have need to see the same video twice. And these such options are so powerful they can arouse the curiosity of even the most focused of men.
This makes it hard to function from day to day. Precisely the reason I do not have internet at home, with your computer in you lap you have countless hours and hours of new porn everyday at your fingertips. It is very difficult to refrain from this gift that has been handed to all of us. Thus, instead of the normal daily productive cycle many of us are used to, time and time again we revert back to see what new reward is in store for us.
So, yes, porn is evil, but not for any constitutional reason. The evil is that men are finding very little time to do other things during the day than watch porn. And until men can find balance among this mine field youporn.com and many of its sister cites have now presented us with, woman may be getting the upper hand us all, leaving men in the dust.

Heard Around the Law School

2008-02-22T15:11:00.000-08:00

Compiled by RJ Linnan
• The ACLU is serving cheese and chocolate at their next meeting? They aren’t smug enough that they have to do gourmet hor d’oeuvres?
• My view of sexual harassment in the workplace is like that dog that just won’t let go of your leg.
• So we’re just doing away with Leviticus altogether then?
• If she didn’t have an ass like a Shetland Pony, she wouldn’t be bad
• I actually love women’s gymnastics, they’re very bendy.
• Her boots are way cuter than her ass.
• I totally support girls shaving their arms.
• My knees have done a lot of work on the ground.
• Rich, Just curious. Have you responded to Dale’s inquiry, i.e., if “lefty” Gary Hart somehow required a right-wing wacko balance, how about some counterweight to lightning-rod conservative Ken Starr?
• Can someone please tell me about the hardships of Ariola?
• So if I had any inclination whatsoever to engage in matrimony, this class takes a dump on it
• Check it out. That bitch is so crazy even her hair is trying to get away from her
• I just fingered my chicken and plopped it down on your bed of lettuce
• Sweet... my very nature offends St. Valentine
• Any chance you’d be up for a blood drive donation on Valentine’s Day? We can give the blood of our lonely hearts to save lives...instead of wasting the blood in our hearts by pumping it erratically through our wasteful cardio-pulmonary systems over some stupid flowers and candy that stupid people will be getting from their stupid boyfriends.
• Are there any escort serviced in the Moscow-Pullman area?
• At this point I’d rather have Flavor Flave than Ken Starr
• It’s really hard to do this stuff on command when you’re as stupid as I am
• I’m like the Old Faithful of sarcasm

Centennial Practice Tips

2008-02-22T15:10:00.002-08:00

Gentlemen, it is my pleasure to address the student body of this august institution upon the hundredth anniversary of my matriculation from its hallowed halls. As I am frightfully busy with matters of state, I shall make my remarks brief. One who seeks to be called to the bar would engage in a lifetime of debate, upon sundry topics which would baffle the brains of the workingmen. I have now been in the practice for one hundred years and I could not have attained my eminent status without constant refinement of my debating skill. For the benefit of those who would follow me upon the law’s path, I give you the following propositions, which I have used as themes in practice debates opposing my partners. Any reasonably well-educated man should be able to argue both sides of these propositions with skill, vigor, and minimal preparation.

-BE IT RESOLVED, that a horse can trot faster in harness than under saddle.
-BE IT RESOLVED, that no school should instruct its pupils in the Vulcanist theory of mineralogy without presenting the competing view of Neptunism.
-BE IT RESOLVED, that the literary output of Mr Thoreau is not so great as the output of Mr Riley.
-BE IT RESOLVED, that President Hayes had a more beneficial effect on American’s foreign policy than President Arthur.
-BE IT RESOLVED, that no woman of morals should go about in the evenings without a bustle.
-BE IT RESOLVED, that the United States Government should move from the District of Columbia to the city of St. Louis.
-BE IT RESOLVED, that there is no better cure for drunkenness than the tincture of sarsaparilla, gum camphor, honey, spike-nard, turpentine, foxglove, and snakeroot commonly known as “Dr Silver’s Remedy.”
-BE IT RESOLVED, that investing in government bonds is a poor decision because the Day of Judgment will occur before the notes mature.
-BE IT RESOLVED, that retracing one’s strokes when writing the lower-case letter q is a grievous and uncouth error.

Hoping that these exercises lead to the development of strong minds, I remain, Sirs,

Yours truly,
Abner Ulysses Witry, Class of 1908

Your dead relative left you money in Africa

2008-02-22T15:10:00.001-08:00

Dear Inter Alia,

I know that this message will come to you as a surprise. I am the bill and exchange manager in Bank of Africa (BOA), Ouagadougou Burkina Faso. I hoped that you will not expose or betray this trust and confident that I am about to repose on you for the mutual benefit of our families.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/859479.stm
I need your urgent assistance in transferring the sum of (USD$25) Million to your account within 10 to 14 banking days. This money has been dormant for years in our bank without claim. I want the bank to release the money to you as the nearest person to our deceased customer (the owner of the account) died along with his supposed next of kin in an air crash since July, 2000.
I don’t want the money to go into our bank treasurer account as an abandoned fund. So this is the reason why I contacted you so that the bank can release the money to you as the next of kin to the deceased customer. Please I would like you to keep this proposal as a top secret and delete if you are not interested.
Upon receipt of your reply, I will give you full details on how the business will be executed and also note that you will have 30% of the above mentioned sum if you agree to hand this business with me? and 10% will be set aside for any expenses that warrant on the process before the fund gets into your bank account such as telephone calls bills (etc).

Best Regard,
Mr. Yusuf Musa

My Dear Yusuf,

I am sorry to hear about my next of kin. That plane crash was quite a tragedy. I hope Air France took the necessary precautions to avoid a repeat of this situation. I wish I would have known him or her. I am glad you contacted me and I will be happy to help you anyway possible.
As it happens, I am quite wealthy already so I have no need for the money you wrote about. Rather, I would be happy to donate it to a worthy cause. There is a terrible affliction that affects many people per year called Cotard Delusion, or Walking Corpse Syndrome. Cotards causes a person to hold a delusional belief that he or she is dead, does not exist, is putrefying or has lost his/her blood or internal organs. I would very much like to donate these funds to finding a cure for Cotards.
I am somewhat concerned about the legality of this transaction however. Are estates typically handled in this fashion in Ouagadougou? I don’t know who which of these individuals were my kin but are we sure that I am the right next of kin? Was I included in a will or did the decedent died intestate? Either way, I am happy to help and I have no problem sending you my account number and PIN or whatever you need.
Please, send me instructions so we can facilitate this transaction. I can’t wait to help those poor Cotards.

Your’s truly,

Youre anasshole (by Josh Studor)

What I’ve Learned In Law School So Far

2008-02-22T15:09:00.003-08:00

by Mike Band
Orientation
I’ll admit that I remember precious little about orientation. I know that I was wearing a tie and that by the end of the week a small but important piece of my soul had withered and died… I think maybe that was the point.
Law students prefer to sit when drinking
Towards the end of orientation week, though perhaps slightly before it technically concluded, Luke “I Am Montana and So Can You” Casey and I felt the need to socialize a bit. It didn’t take us long to figure out that, aside from the library, the best place to find a bunch of law students on a given night is at the bars. Perhaps I ought to qualify what I mean by “bars,” as both the plurality and inspecificity of the word may be a bit misleading. Obviously by “the bars” I mean “The Garden” because for a long time it seemed to be the only damned place anyone in this school ever hung out. Pool tables evidently frighten law students. Coincidentally, this would be both the first and last time anyone from the 2L class was seen outside of the law school.
Nightmare on Elm Street, starring The Law as Freddy Krueger
Sometime in early October I had my first law dream. It was very troubling. Law school had invaded my precious slumber like [insert generic blitzkrieg reference here] and before finally waking in a cold sweat, I had spent what felt like a miserable eternity toiling to find the issue and rule for a baseball game played on the moon by me and a bunch of talking dogs (don’t judge me). Here’s the thing: moondogball doesn’t have an issue or a rule. It just doesn’t, man.
The Consequences
All law students (or at least this one, and my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, so I think the rest of you should be happy to have me as the basis of generalization) have to balance two important but conflicting needs: the need to procrastinate and the need to get shit done. Years ago, I managed to convince myself that I can accomplish the latter most effectively by indulging in the former until I have no choice but to frantically assault my keyboard from late-evening the night before a due date until sometime approaching or after dawn on the due date itself. In the past this was fine, as I could just hand in the assignment and then either zombie my way through class or, more likely, go home and induce a coma. It turns out that in law school, however, one is expected to attend and be ready to participate in class on a daily basis. Immediate consequences for being a zombie in class include a hopeless fight against drifting off every 25 seconds for a nice game of moondogball and, if you’re especially lucky, incoherently bumbling your way through the case you didn’t read the night before by attempting to simultaneously read, comprehend, and summarize it and looking like/sounding like/being a dumbass. The consequence for missing class is mostly limited to putting up with the army of oh-so-clever turncoats who will be flipping you shit about how very responsible you are for the entirety of the subsequent day and then probably again later that weekend. Sam Thilo, I’m looking at you, buddy boy.
Thanksgiving is a good time to get work done
I really did plan on getting a lot of studying in over Thanksgiving break. Instead I played Guitar Hero 2 and slept until noon every day. I regret nothing.
How to study
I, like many of you, never studied for a thing in my life prior to this delightful little adventure. While that freed up a helluva lotta time for the first 16 years of my education, it also left me completely inept when it came to studying. I seriously had no idea how in the hell it was accomplished. Even more mysterious was the idea of actually studying with another person. When friends/associates/secret enemies mentioned that they were planning on getting together to study, I would nod and then, when they left, begin furrowing my brow in a vain attempt to understand their meaning. In my head, I envisioned a pack of wolves fighting a large bear. I did this because I had no idea how to even begin picturing how more than one person would study and because I wonder if a pack of wolves could take down a large bear. Eventually I figured out that you don’t study with another person to try and learn more, you do it so that intermittently you can stop and have a 15 minute exchange about how much you both hate law school/law school/law school and also share YouTube videos.
And in conclusion…
At this point I’ve successfully wasted an hour or so and should probably get back to work on this damnable paper.

Dear RJ

2008-02-22T15:09:00.001-08:00

Dear RJ,
I have always been a good student. From the gold star on my forehead in preschool until the day I graduated with my BA in political science, I have always been at the top of my class. You can image my shock when I got my grades this semester and I received only average marks. I am embarrassed to admit that one of my grades was even as low as some of the people I used to make fun of when I was in undergrad. How can this be?
First Real Experience As Kolikeh
[Kolikeh: Yiddish. n. (KOL-e-keh) An inept performer; someone not so good at their craft.]

Dear FREAK,
It must seem like only yesterday that you were sitting around a table in a coffee shop thinking that you and all your cool friends could if only everyone would listen. You probably came to law school with visions of you cheekily and easily engaging with your professors and showing your classmates how sharp you are and have always been. I can imagine your disappointment when you found yourself taking weeks worth of notes on mutual assent, consideration, and parole evidence only to find that the girl in sweats two rows back and the guy with the beer gut and a John Deere hat were both easily as smart as you, and understood better than you why a fox hunt hundreds of years ago is important to American Property law. First of all, don’t feel like Tigger cause you aren’t the only one. Every year, hundreds of first year law students experience the very same thing. Your disappointment is understandable. You are no longer the cream of the crop. You’re just the crop. Maybe even the chaff. The important question now, is what will you do about it? Here are some suggestions I have gathered from the Alumnus I have met over the past few years.
From a Litigator: Keep in mind that everyone here is at least as smart as you. While you may have been the brightest star at State U, here you’re now grouped with about 100 people who all got roughly the same GPA and LSAT score. You may feel that there is some great gap between yourself and your classmates but let’s face it, if that were true you’d be attending a different school than a 3rd tier state school in rural Idaho.
From a Professor: Learn to live with your grades. They don’t define you unless you define yourself with them. And if you define yourself by your grades, well, you’re probably an asshole.
From a Judge: Find other ways to validate yourself. Three years from now this will all be over. If your self worth and self esteem have been largely based on your law school achievements you’ll find yourself in a sad, sad state. While you got an A in Business Associations people after you graduate will still prefer the company of the person who got a C+ – because he or she is not a stuffy prick.
Learn to live with your C. Embrace it and move on. You’ll be a better person for it.

Dear RJ,
I am nervous about sharing a hotel room with a classmate on the bankruptcy moot court trip to NYC because he has publicly said I was pretty. Should I be concerned about what people will think, or just embrace my friend and make clear that I don’t feel that way about him?
Torn Regarding New Travel

Dear TRENT
I got nothing. Really. I don’t know what to tell you. I wouldn’t want to share a room with him, and he thinks I am fat, old and ugly. I think you can buy pepper spray in Union Square.

Dear RJ
What the hell was Josh thinking? How can he not think that articles was a personal attack? How was that funny? What’s his problem? I could write an editorial about how several people at this school, faculty, staff, and students irritate the shit out of me, but I don’t.
Anonymous

Dear Anonymous
Josh is like that guy who teaches the foreign kid to play poker. His game, his rules, and sometimes a hand of all red cards is just a winner. I know that Josh has a blog, but none of his friends read it, so this was his best way to be heard since his roommate has been telling him to quit whining.

Dear RJ
Do we actually go to law school? I am just curious because I thought law school was about confrontation, differing opinions, advocacy for a position, and challenging ones perspective. I also thought part of learning about the law was debating over terms like “personal attacks” or concepts like proper forums.
I also thought we, as law students, enjoyed concepts like freedom of the press or freedom of speech.
See, I am confused because many of the responses to my article from last issue brought vehemence and name calling from many anonymous posters.
Just the Editor

Dear JTE
No, Josh. You are operating from several mistaken premises. Law school isn’t about any of those things. Law school is about gossip, innuendo, scandal, cliquishness, snide attacks (which is what Inter Alia is SUPPOSED to be about), and crushing your idealistic dreams of the law as a professional fraternity. Most law students DO enjoy those things as CONCEPTS. The fact is, most of America is only for freedom of speech that they agree with. As for freedom of the Press, well, that would imply that this rag qualifies as Press, and no publication that would regularly let me rant and make snide attacks counts as a newspaper. Also, just because most of us don’t think of Inter Alia as an actual news source, that doesn’t meant we think it should be your blog either

Give a guy a hand (a washed one)

2008-02-22T15:08:00.001-08:00

by Brian “germaphobe” Hilverda

“Wash your hands.” I heard this time and time again as a kid. After playing outside and coming in to eat; after walking the dogs; and especially after going to the bathroom. After a while it just became a habit (way to go Mom!) So it strikes me as odd the number of people at this school who don’t wash their hands after using the facilities. I just don’t get how it’s possible for so many people in this school to have come this far in life and not learn that they should use the sink after doing their business (#1 or #2). It’s not like it’s a difficult task, or even that time consuming. Yet, somehow it happens on a regular basis (you know who you are). I hope the female population of this school will forgive me, but my comments are not directed at them; I don’t spend much (or any) time in the ladies room.
Don’t make assumptions about who may be guilty of this. If you haven’t noticed an offender already, it might surprise you who commits this offense. It’s not limited to 1L’s who may not have learned that by not washing off germs from that antibiotic-resistant staph infection festering on their nether-regions, they could be subject to strict liability and punitive damages. I personally have witnessed 1L’s, 2L’s, 3L’s, and even professors (yes, multiple) leave the facilities without taking a second to rinse their digits.
So instead of calling you out publicly, I thought I’d offer up some helpful reminders instead. When we were teaching my daughter to wash her hands after she used the bathroom, we told her to sing her ABC’s. She loved it, and it’s now a habit for her. If the alphabet isn’t your thing, I’ve thought if some other simple refrains that may spark your memory.
• “If you put your hand on your wang, wash the germs down the drain.”
• “When I pee, washing is up to me.”
• “After draining the dong, wash with soap for 30 seconds long”
• “If I make a doodie, using the sink is my duty.”
I hope these help any offenders out there remember to wash. Seriously folks, it’s a small community here and no one wants to use the door after you’ve put your “junk-germed” hands all over the handle. So let’s all do our part and make our bathrooms a safer place.

Making Law Interesting Again

2008-02-22T15:06:00.000-08:00

by Mike Witry

The other day I was flipping channels idly when I saw a “bug” logo in the lower right hand corner of my screen that informed me, “CourtTV is now TruTV.” Apparently televised trials just weren’t interesting enough for the American public, so now the erstwhile legal network concentrates on reality programming (which raises its own legal issues).
What’s the matter, America? Shouldn’t you be interested in the justice system your ancestors constructed and your contemporaries maintain? How can John Grisham top the best-seller list every time he writes down his grocery list, yet a network devoted to bringing you the real-life equivalent withers on the vine?
It’s time to face facts. Our trial system may have been riveting in 1789, but it’s fallen behind in the hoot-and-holler league. I humbly suggest the following reforms to make our trials worth watching.
- The layout of the courtroom needs to go. Everybody knows that if you want to create drama, you need a nearly-bare set, very dark, with a couple of spotlights, a la “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?”
- Courtroom audiences are generally silent because the judge doesn’t want them to interfere with the proceedings. This won’t prevent a little work in the editing room. If “The Flintstones” can have a laugh track, then so can a courtroom. I recommend using the audience reaction tracks from “Saved by the Bell” - especially appropriate, because one of the cast members from “Saved by the Bell: The New Class” is clerking for Justice Breyer next term (no, really!)
- The gavel is great. Love the gavel. Percussion is powerful. Maybe replace the gavel with a gong. And introduce the judge with a timpani roll.
- While we’re on the topic of introductions, the attorneys could use some more face time - they’re the ones who make the plot of the trial move forward. “Iron Chef” does an excellent job of introducing its competitors. Televised trials should borrow from its success and introduce the attorneys with montages of their past cases, and the counsels enter the courtroom accompanied by heraldic music and their firms’ honor guards.
- When people walk while talking, it creates the impression that the plot is moving along with the characters. This is why the lawyers on “Law and Order” discuss pending motions in the hallway, and Dr. House limps around the corridors of the hospital while brainstorming diagnoses. The easiest way to get lawyers to do this would be to put the witness’ microphone on a sled and pull the sled around the courthouse. The lawyer and the witness will have to keep up with it if they want the jury to hear them.
- When TV audiences encounter something they don’t understand, they change the channel. Evidence rules might be crucial to the outcome of cases, but they confuse viewers. One way to make them less confusing would be to take a page from the NFL’s playbook and implement hand signals for various rulings. “Inadmissible,” (waves hands, palms down) “calls for speculation,” (point to forehead with index finger) “disregard the answer.” (raises hand, palm out)
- Likewise, the eyes of our audience glaze over when they hear the word “Objection,” because they know they’re about to hear somebody try to stop the witness from talking for some arcane reason, and nobody’s going to explain it to them. It might be easier for the audience to comprehend if we replaced the technical term “Objection” with something more common-sense, like “Bullshit.”
- Every trial needs comic relief. Hamlet had the gravediggers, Macbeth had the old drunk guy, even the local news has the wacky weatherman. There’s no obvious place for comic relief in the courtroom, so it looks like we’ll have to assign this job to the courtroom sketch artist. Why not replace the traditional artists with caricature artists? You can find them on every street corner in major cities. They’ll draw the witnesses with huge heads, and possibly carrying items that represent the content of their testimony.
Now, some of you naysayers might be saying nay right now. Have you considered that this might be the reason they call you naysayers? If you keep disagreeing with people, they won’t like you anymore.
In summary, there’s no good reason why courtroom television can’t be a big hit. Yes, we as lawyers have a higher calling, but so do evangelists and look at the ratings they get.

Best Damn Facial Hair Contest (Winners)

2008-01-24T10:00:00.000-08:00

Best Overall (3L)
Brad Weber

Most Creative
Steven McRae

Best 2L
Brandon Smith

Best 1L:
Aaron Contreras

Best Damn Facial Hair Contest (other contestants)

2008-01-24T09:57:00.001-08:00

Sure, you didn't win... but you tried. Here's a t-ball trophy.

Local hero assists in speedy grade return for B.A. Final

2008-01-24T09:56:00.002-08:00

by Eric Haley

Over the holiday, University of Idaho presented Tim Dungles with a key to the Menard College of Law for his heroic actions that ultimately led to the Business Associations scantron finally being graded in the beginning of the Spring semester. Mr. Dungles is an associate food service provider at Wendy’s Restaurant, located across the road from the University. Depositing used cooking lubricant in to transport bins is one of Mr. Dungles many responsibilities on the job and while carrying out his duty on Christmas eve he saved the Fall 2007 B.A Final grades by picking up what he perceived to be unsoiled napkins in the diner’s parking lot.
“Customers got to wipe their hands on something so I picked them up”, said Dungles, during his key presentation address. “I knew something was wrong when they wouldn’t fit into the napkin dispensers so I looked at them closer and believing that I had found some sort of alien alphabet code, I did what anyone would do, I dialed 911. The operator finally explained to me that given the close proximity of the University and the fact that the code consisted of only darkened A, B, C, D, and E’s, it was most likely property of the University . And that made sense given the fact that if they were aliens who found us before we found them, they would probably have a more advanced alphabet.”
Mr. Dungles promptly forfeited the scantrons to University officials who in turn saw them safely back to the Law school. The school is not investigating how the scantrons turned up at Wendy’s at this time.
Once in custody, the scantrons were commercially mailed to India to be graded by the school’s outsourced scantron grading firm. Once back through customs and into Idaho, the grades were recorded and the students notified.

It's All Fun and Games...

2008-01-24T09:56:00.001-08:00

by Amy Stack and Lindsey Simon

In light of the recent grumbling heard around the law school regarding final exams last semester, we humble authors started to wonder if perhaps there was a better way to test students. Taking a cue from the network executives during the writer’s strike, we propose a new law school exam system based entirely on game shows, reality shows, and classic board games.
Torts—American Gladiators
• Re-born in the new millennium like one of its hosts, Hulk Hogan, this exam wants you to “say your prayers and take your vitamins.” Gauntlet, Powerball, and The Eliminator are no match for students on American “Tortfeasor” Gladiators. Exam takers compete by dodging exploding lamps, ducking under trains, side-stepping escaped barrels, and avoiding the swinging madness of the Golfing-Gizmo. This exam will be re-given the following semester and will require steroid screening.
Constitutional Law—Survivor: Guantanamo
• Two words: Survivor: Guantanamo. During this exam, student grades will be based on two factors: (1) how long they can withstand water-boarding, and then (2) correctly answering the yes/no questions, “Was that torture?” So far no one has gotten this one right.
Professional Responsibility—Double Dare
• Marc Summers, reading from the Model Rules of Professional Double Dare will begin your exam with an explanation of the Game: “I’m going to ask you thirty questions, and if you don’t know the answer, or think the other students haven’t got a clue, you can dare them to answer for double the grade points. But be carefully because they can always Double Dare you back for four times the points, and then you’ll either have to answer the questions or take the physical challenge.” Physical challenges may include: “Pie in the Pants,” “Rain on Your Parade,” “Human Taco,” or “Hard-Partying 2L” and “Non-Traditional Student.”

Business Associations—Deal or No Deal
• In this version, student contestants open briefcases to reveal grade points. As the points accumulate, a call comes down from “The Banker” (i.e., Professor Anderson) with an offer for a certain grade. Students are encouraged to remember that a deal’s a deal (and it’s your own dumb fault). And make sure that you don’t confuse your game shows and yell, “Whammys” mid-lecture, or you’ll catch a suspender clip to the mouth.

Family Law—The Price is Right
• After being urged to “Come on down!” students are shown a dysfunctional family and then asked to bid on what spousal support and child support amounts are appropriate. The student that comes closest to the correct amount according to state guidelines advances to the next round. In the Showcase round the students are shown the family “assets” and asked to divide them based upon equitable distribution. And as always, remember to spay and neuter your kid... uh, pets.

Evidence—Family Feud
• All the legal jargon that family members of students have been forced to endure finally pays off in this exam. Spouses, parents, siblings, and children will have to provide category answers based on all those hearsay exceptions you were drunkenly shouting at the television during Law and Order marathons, CSI, and Matlock over Christmas Break.

Criminal Law—Clue Tournament
• The old method of providing an actor, event, and theory in Criminal law exam answers takes a new twist in this tournament of the classic board game. Now students must provide the correct murderer, location, and weapon in order to succeed. E.g., Professor Hasko, in the Law Library, with the microfiche (microfiche thrown at high speeds have been used for decades to sever the carotid arteries of rival librarians).

Bankruptcy—Life Tournament
• It’s the game of Life! Deal with it, Chump.

Trial Skills
• We’re pitching a new game show to NBC execs for this one. Our tagline? “Judge Judy Meets ‘The Most Dangerous Game.’” We haven’t quite figured out how it works yet. All you need to know is that Professor Williams will only give you a five minute head start before he paints the courtroom with your blood.

Sales
• It’s not really a game, but we think it would be a good testing method anyway. This final is a lot like the standard egg/flour sack assignment from high school, in that your grade depends on the condition of your U.C.C. supplement at the end of the semester. A broken spine or excessive tabbing is an automatic grade deduction. Also, you must bear in mind Professor Beard’s care instructions—“Never expose your U.C.C. supplement to direct sunlight. Never get it wet, and most importantly, never, ever feed it after midnight.”

Grades at the U of I are a gamble... literally

2008-01-24T09:55:00.004-08:00

by Collin Simonsen
I was in an interview for a job with a prestigious firm a few days ago when the interviewer asked me for my transcript. I reminded him, sheepishly, that I came from the University of Idaho. He said, “I see. Bring it in.”
I then left the room and came back a moment later carting a slot machine.
“Now please understand that I had Goble, MacDonald twice, Beard for Sales that “one year” and Rowland, so I’ll have to do this twice.”
I inserted a quarter into the machine and pulled the lever. As the columns began turning I stared excitedly my eyes bulging with anticipation.
And the first grade was... a “C”! Dang it! I looked at my interviewer nervously. The second grade? “D-”! Dang it! And I had even had the answers for that one! The third grade? “C+”! An improvement at least.
I looked at my interviewer again and said, “It’ll get better I promise.” So I pulled the lever again after inserting another coin. This time it came out “A-”, “A” and “B” plus! Yes! I turned to my future employer and said, confidently, “And since those were second year grades you can tell that I improved.”
“That’s a good point,” he said, “But how do I know they won’t change next week?”
“Well, if I come in next week and they are either substantially the same or better, can I have the job?” I asked.
“We’ll see. Meanwhile, it is now time for my interview with the Harvard law grad., so... yeah, get outta here.”
“Oh, I don’t suppose you even have to look at his grades.”
“Um, No.”
Dejected, I left his office with my grade machine.

Torts Lib

2008-01-24T09:55:00.001-08:00

by Eric Haley

Instructions: Read the potential Torts final exam hypo. You will notice words are left out. Fill in the blanks and giggle about it with friends!

Farmer Shickadance runs a big ole farm, with a big ole tractor, a big ole hog pen, a big ole heard of cattle, and a big ole barn. That’s because Farmer Shickdance has a big ole _________(noun). Shickadance was squirrely on his good days and meaner than a 3-________(adj) cougar on his bad days. So he wasn’t amused when two smart-ass teenager’s, Mike and Luke, snuck up on his _____________ (living thing), Ole Bossey, and tipped him/her/it over.
Shickadance said on more than one drunken occasion, “ _______(verb) my farm, _______(verb) my hogs, hell I don’t even lock my barn so if you want to sneak in and _________(verb) a cute little _______(noun) or two, well that’s between you and God. But nobody tips over Ole Bossey Shickadance. That will get a ____________(slang noun) hurt!
Shickadance spent the majority of the day consoling Ole Bossey who was in a state of severe emotional distress and physical pain because the “tipping” had left him/her/it with a broken ____________(body part). The next day, Shickadance woke up to the pungent smell of ________(noun). “Is that smell coming from inside the house or outsi....Oh My God! Bossey!”
Shickdance couldn’t have been more shocked if he had seen __________(living thing) hoola hooping with Barbara Walters in his front yard. During the night, someone had thrown a hot bucket of _______ (liquid) on Ole Bossey. Adding injury to insult, there on the wall smeared in _________ (whatever), was the message: “L and M 4eva!”
Well it looked like tweedle-dee and tweedle-_______ (u pick) had won this war. “Look it! Ole Bossey is just lying there, smellier then a sack of ________(whatever)!”, the boys elated. Let me tell ya, 99 percent of the time, Luke and Mike would have been in the clear because 99 percent of the people you could ______(verb) with, weren’t Farmer Shickadance. Shickadance hired a bodyguard for Ole Bossey but not just any bodyguard, it was “Nicotine, the Tort Magician!”
Nicotine was a bodyguarding son-of-a-________(noun), with an arsenal of smoke screens, doves up his sleeves and a bunny in his __________(noun). Tragically, after taking 10 steps onto Shickadance’s property, Nicotine slipped on a pile of _________(noun) shit and broke his neck. The fall dislodged a cigarette from his lips which ignited his _________(body part) tassels thus detonating the smoke screens.
The doves, no longer able to sustain life in the sleeves of a dead burning magician, took desperate flight into the smoke that now eclipsed all visibility on the road. Luke and Mike ran towards the smoke, hoping that Shickdance’s __________(noun) was up___________(whatever) creek without a __________(noun), just in time to witness Luke’s parents jogging into one side of the smoke, and Mike’s drunk uncle daydreaming into the smoke in the opposite direction. The problem wasn’t the timing of the day dream session, it was location. Slick-________(name), as his friends called him, happened to be located behind the wheel of his _______(year) ________(vehicle). His last thought before leaving this Earth was “Hmmmm...who would have thought you would be greeted by white doves at the smoky gates of hell?”
The truck lost control at the same moment that the comet “Halebop” came crashing into the accident scene leaving a one-mile circle of scorched Earth. Everyone in the fact pattern is ________(u pick) up!

Please analyze the various tort issues.

J-Mac offers little learning, lots of controversy

2008-01-24T09:53:00.000-08:00

Note: this is the expanded version of the article published in the printed version of Inter Alia. The opinion is that of the author's alone and does not represent the opinion of the editorial staff, SBA or the University of Idaho.

by Josh Studor

Few quotes from law school will stand out like one Professor James McDonald said during one of his Spring 2007 Constitutional Law classes: “Are there any Republicans that are not evil?” Sadly, that may be one of the less offensive things he’s said in class in recent years.

There just isn’t a great forum for expressing displeasure with a professor. There is no “rate a prof” forum or a new tenure committee hearing to discuss how his ridiculous behavior distracts from the message – if there even is one. We have the opportunity to fill out course evaluations but an old, tenured grump like Jimmy Mac doesn’t give a damn about what students write about him. Rather, the only forum is this one.

I’ve had Jimmy Mac for two classes. Yeah, I was a sucker. I took Con Law II from him after having a really great experience the semester before in Con Law I, which was taught by departed professor Russ Miller (who Mac refers to as Prof. Russ). I was appalled by the Jimmy Mac’s class and swore I would never take another class from that man. But a variety of people assured me that he was “way better in Federal Courts.”

He wasn’t.

And he wasn’t any better to the 2Ls this year for Con Law either. The wide variety of ridiculous statements my Mr. Mac is astounding still.

“You would feel differently if you were a Japanese American” – said to Kinzo. (He responded: “I am.”)

“What if I called you a ‘Fucking Nip’” – said to Kinzo.

“You can’t be a Republican and be a decent human being.”

“California is Californicating the North West.”

“Well then, you’re an idiot” – said to RJ in class.

“Instead of giving [mentally ill patients] meds that make them worse, we should lock them away in padded rooms.”

“You hate [poor/black] people, don’t you.”

For those of you fortunate enough to have not suffered through one of his more manic episodes… I mean classes, let me give you what I remember to be a typical class:

The class starts when Jimmy Mac comes in the classroom early and writes a series of words on the chalkboard that indicate his “lesson plan” for the day. Sometimes they are case names, sometimes they are key people or philosophies, and sometimes there are provocative statements like “Guns and Nuts.” Also included is a set of page numbers that he expects to get through in the next three sessions. He never actually gets to them on schedule.

Then, when class comes to session, he tells everyone to turn to a particular page in the book that he intends to talk about. And he may actually talk about it some days. Most of the time he says something like, “can you believe what the court did in this case.” And then goes on to explain how the “Republicans” on the court screwed up the decision. Usually, it is because the justices hate black people, poor people, illegal immigrants, and women.

Incidentally, justices may be appointed by Republicans or may be conservative, but they are not actually members of any particular political party.

He will then ask a question of the class that has nothing to do with what happened in this case. Rather, he asks things like “in a class this size, you are telling me none of you have smoked peyote?” Or “Do any of you, who are more inclined to the conservative side, want to defend this ridiculous idea?”

Occasionally, someone will tentatively raise her hand and begin to answer a question (or attempt to ask one) and he will interrupt her at the least opportune time. He often stops people in the middle of their statements simply to change the meaning of the statement about to be made and put words in the individual’s mouth. Sometimes, the interruption is simply to call you stupid. It happened to me.

We were talking in class about federalism and whether the state laboratory idea was a good one. Jimmy Mac was obviously on the side of stronger federal government (because he strangely thinks that arguing for a weaker federal government is racist). I raised my hand and said something like “well, there is something to be said about just moving if you really don’t like the law in that state. I, for instance, plan to move out of Idaho because of the anti-gay marriage amendment passed recently.”

“Well, that’s just stupid to put all your eggs in one basket like that,” Jimmy Mac announced to the entire class.

I immediately had 20 or more IM windows pop up on my computer screen with people saying “holy shit.”

His badgering, name calling, and rude behavior eventually lead to people just remaining silent because there is ultimately not point in yelling at the hurricane.

Further insulting is Jimmy Mac’s use of “so called” as a preface to a variety words or phrases. For example, he often says the “’so called gays,’” “so called ‘feminists,’” “so called ‘states’ rights people,’” “so called ‘African-Americans,’” or “so called liberals.” The preface “so called” carries with it a demeaning connotation that the thing it prefaces is not actually the thing it claims to be. I don’t know what “so called ‘gays’” means except that people who say they are gay are not actually gay.

About 40 minutes into the class, the average person realizes that class is about over and, at the same time, realizes that he’s spent more time reading Wikipedia or IMing than taking notes. At least for me, it’s not because I don’t care about the subject or because the professor’s lack of inflection has lulled me to sleep. Rather, it is because at some point, Jimmy Mac’s gruff and abrasive personality has made me shut down. Even as a liberal, I just don’t want to hear “Republicans are evil,” “Scalia is an idiot,” and “Your thoughts are stupid” for an entire 50 minutes.

Students are not only kept from expressing their opposing views in class, they are also kept from avoiding the whole debacle. After one particularly awful class about gun violence and the mentally ill, some students got up and walked out of the class. Jimmy Mac then took the liberty of calling these individuals at home and reminding them that the attendance policy would be enforced should they not show up to class.

Then, when class is supposed to be over, he runs over long enough to finish his point (or whatever he was saying) and tell the class that he didn’t have the time to get through all he wanted to because [insert name] didn’t teach the class enough. It’s never his fault.

But once class is over for the last time, you have your grade to worry about and, in grading, Jimmy Mac is simply arbitrary. Take last semester as an example.

In Con Law I, the 2Ls took their exam early in the finals weeks. Hoping to be able to study better for the exam, many of the students asked for some form of sample questions. Jimmy Mac refused the request and took down the sample exams from previous years. The students then went out of their way to locate some sample questions in a Kaplan Bar Review book and studied from those questions. When the students showed up for the exam, many of the Kaplan multiple choice questions (I believe it was 27) were on the exam verbatim.

Jimmy Mac found out that the students had studied the questions and subsequently announced that he would be removing those questions from the exam. The resulting e-mail exchange filled 2L and administrator inboxes for days. After some discussion, and a meeting with the deans and a 2L student, Jimmy Mac agreed to keep the questions in the test.

Apparently, after Jimmy Mac turned in the grades, he informed the 2L students that they would not be able to look at their exams unless they wanted him to re-grade their exam. He followed with a warning that he was “just as likely to lower your grade as raise it.”

Two particular problems jump out at me: First, Kaplan’s questions are copyrighted and Jimmy Mac used them to “write” his test. What he did would amount to plagiarism if a student were to do something similar. Just to be clear, I am actually saying that Professor James McDonald, a tenured professor at the University of Idaho College of Law, copied and possibly plagiarized Kaplan’s questions for his 2007 Con Law I test.

The second problem I have is that there is no way to know if he actually kept or removed the questions if students are not able to review their exams without repercussions. Without permission to view their exams, students have no guarantee that he didn’t just assign letter grades at random.

Admittedly, this is only one side of the story and at least a few students will completely disagree with my characterizations (including my fellow editor). Those people may argue that Jimmy Mac is attempting to make students see different sides of the issue or he wants to rile up the class so they will pay attention. I agree; one way to teach a class is to rile them up or defend unpopular ideas. However, the way to do that is to present opposing arguments not verbally insult the other side simply to make a statement. Being offensive for the sake of being offensive serves no pedagogical interest.

For the record, I am not writing this because I got a bad grade or something. In fact, I did far better in Federal Courts than I expected. I write this because it needs to be said and this school needs a better conversation about what is appropriate in the classroom setting.

Heard Around the Law School

2008-01-24T09:52:00.001-08:00

compiled by RJ Linnan
• The cat was covered in pie
• What kind of case has a football helmet as circumstantial evidence?
• Bats are cool. Batman is cooler.
• You get paid whether your work is crappy or not. That makes you a professional.
• FOUR e-mails in two days about a brown bag lunch is just excessive
• You know what they need? Coffee flavored water.
They do... It’s called Coffee.
No but that rich flavor without the caffeine.
You mean decaf?
• We’re living in the law school version of “Scrubs.”
• I have never made fun of him to his face. I have been afraid he would pull out a battle axe
• I need to get an external hard drive. My laptop is only forty gigs. Thirty is music and the rest is notes and porn.
• They were baby making cheating dirty trailer people
• We’re going to need a gouge for this class, I am going to sleep.
• Hey! Quit being such a tease-bag.
• Yeah, but you called him a douchebag.
• Holy shitballs, I love the grading curve
• I had a 101 fever this morning when I left from Spokane. Thanks for sharing.
• Yeah, he wrote the book you use in torts, but writing tests is different.
• How did we go from a Republican getting the wall torn down to a Republican that wants us to be East Germany with a wall at the borders?
• That was just diarrhea of the pen by the court
• Yeah, kudos on the latest article, not so much on the exam.
• Being in law school here is like being in an abusive relationship.
• I’m pretty sure if I am dating a guy who owns a yacht I am not going to need any lubricant

Clash of the Pretty Boys

2008-01-24T09:51:00.001-08:00

by Aaron Crary

As appears its marketing goal, the law school is made up of a diverse student body. With different ethnic backgrounds, lifestyles and eating habits the diversity here is quite evident. And I don’t think anyone would question that our creators plan, in his infinite wisdom, has failed by constructing such diversity not only in our school, but among the general population as well. But as consequence of doing so there are certain members of the society, and specifically here in our law school, who find themselves much more physically appealing and subject to more than the normal amount of attention given to the general public.
Although the majority of my time is spent looking at our female makeup here at the school, it would be childish for me to deny that I have not noticed our male population as well. My inquiry for today is a study into the makeup of some of the more appealing male members of our school.
As would be expected, I use myself as the general template for comparison. But unfortunately, as much as I would like to confirm that I am in fact the model of physical prowess amongst the three classes, I just don’t think my credibility could take that kind of backlash with such a claim.
My good friend and fellow 3L Will Fletcher does not hold the same self restraint. The self-proclaimed heartthrob does not doubt for a minute that he is amongst the top. I know Will lifts a lot of weights, giving him man pecks that would make any 13 year old girl jealous. But the fact is that one, Will is not tall enough; and two, although this should not matter in a vote such as this one, no one likes him and therefore he cannot be a favorite in any such vote.
No, my tale today focuses on a certain specimen, a one Trent Belnap, who found himself struggling with these such ideals. As it goes, Trent came onto the scene in 2005. The first year was easy for Trent. There were few who had the gall to question the brilliance this young man embodied. A modest stature of 6’3’’ topped off with a blond-haired, hazel-eyed face that seemed to be chiseled by the breath of angels on their way up to heaven, Trent was truly without equal.
And Trent relished his role. He knew his place. He was born a creature of beauty, and as such did relatively little to reinforce what his maker had so gratuitously bestowed upon him. Trent was happy to sit back and offer his welcome contentment from his modest perch, always off in the corner, never threatening or condescending, a soft reminder of what could be.
But a life at the top it was not to be. Unfortunately for Trent, when his second year came he ran into something he never expected.
Trent had never been so confused, a spectacle before his eyes he had never before witnessed. A passing of the torch it appeared, an event that Trent had never partaken in and as such was not and could never be prepared for.
The individual before him was truly one that seemed unspeakable. Whereas Trent had found comfort in the fact that his face could perform wonders among the masses, he was now faced with a prospect who was equal not only in complexion, but in physical stature as well. No, it was no secret this man, a Craig Weaver they called him, spent time at the gym.
This bothered Trent. A certain depression came over him. Not for any jealousy he felt towards this new man. Trent just had never been able to prepare himself for a world that apparently could be yanked out from under him so quickly.
But Trent, a casual intellectual of sorts, maintained to find out what this new creature meant in his life. Was it fate, or destiny if you will, that propelled Trent to accept his place as a thing of beauty, though now not one superior? Or was he now given a choice, two paths departing with Trent free to decide which of those his life would take; a) sit back and accept his role, or b) take initiative to regain what once was bestowed upon him.
Trent reserved himself to a strict regimen. He ran in the morning. If it was too cold outside then an hour and a half on the treadmill at the gym. Lunch was restricted to a somber meal, low in carbohydrates, and high in seduction. After dinner it was a full workout, alternating upper or lower body every other day. It was a full time job.
Trent had made up his mind. Whether he had a choice or not, he no longer cared. What was important was that he now felt the choice was his and he was determined to see it through. Trent devoted his life to this one goal. A goal that was his to be had, and his alone. And that is how it has been ever since.
If you go to the gym these days, there is a likely chance you will see Trent amidst his routine. A once depressed figure, he has found recent purpose in this new life. But I do warn you, do not question the man. For what he does is personal, his actions an everyday reminder of what he is and now must become. But if you are so lucky to get close to him as you pass by him at the gym, keep your ears peeled. He does speak; it is rumored, though in soft whispers. And every time it is the same, so they say, a persistent mantra reminding himself always, “Craig Weaver, you think you have me now, but just you wait.”

Employer’s responses to my applications

2008-01-24T09:50:00.001-08:00

by Mike Witry
Dear Mr. Witry:
Thank you for submitting your application for employment. However, it appears that you have inadvertently failed to include the document or documents in which you explain how you are in any way qualified to work for our firm. If you find those documents, please feel free to re-submit your application.
Dear Mr. Witry:
The only reason we informed the University of Idaho College of Law of our available position is because we wanted to hire Kristi Wilson. No others need apply.
Dear Mr. Witry:
We are sorry to say that we do not offer positions to Gentiles. When Jesus makes His triumphant return to Missouri, we do not wish to be caught in the awkward position of trying to explain why one of our number is not among the Elect.
Dear Mr. Witry:
Thank you for applying for an associate position with our firm. The position has been filled by someone who is even less qualified than yourself, but I owed his dad a favor.
Dear Mr. Witry:
Our hiring partner doesn’t like you. I don’t like you either. You’d better watch yourself.
Dear Mr. Witry:
We are unable to offer you a position as an attorney at this time. However, you may qualify for several other open positions with our city, including Janitor I, Street Sweeper, and Part-Time Rec League T-Ball Coach. Please contact us to set up a time to interview for one of these positions.
Dear Mr. Witry:
Your resume is a litany of disappointment. We advise you to quit school now and spare yourself the mortification of eternal failure.
Dear Mr. Witry:
We apologize for a mistake in our most recent correspondence. We did not mean to say you should be hauling away garbage. We meant to say you should be hauled away as garbage.
Dear Mr. Witry:
Thank you for applying for employment. We cannot offer you a position at this time because we prefer our applicants to have more self-confidence.

*editor’s note: we doubt these are real.

Death Should Be Hard to Watch

2008-01-24T09:49:00.000-08:00

by Mark Coppin

On Monday the Supreme Court heard oral arguments in Blaze v. Rees. Just in case you haven’t been one of those uber geek law students who follows the SC like a 14 year old girl watching American Idol, the case is about lethal injection, and whether or not it is cruel and unusual punishment. In executions by lethal injection three drugs are administered to the condemned. The first is basically a pain killer, and it is supposed to drop the blood pressure, kill pain, and cause sleep. The second drug is a paralytic which, as its name suggests, causes paralysis in all the muscles except the heart. The third drug stops the heart. The potential problem arises when the first drug is administered incorrectly. Without the first drug, the second leaves the condemned paralyzed, awake, and completely capable of feeling the third drug rush in and stop the heart (which is apparently very painful).
The argument is about what standard should be applied to potential risks of future harm, who should supervise administration of the first drug, and the availability of alternative methods. It was all very interesting
The part that I found the MOST interesting was an exchange between Justice Stevens and Mr. Englert. Justice Stevens seemed to believe that the problem was not the first drug but the second (this is mentioned several times but this time caught my attention). If it weren’t for the second drug, there would be very little risk of an incorrect administration of the first drug going unnoticed. Without the paralytic it should be pretty easy to tell if the condemned has been effectively knocked out by the first drug because I am pretty sure you could test for feeling, and if the condemned isn’t paralyzed, then the reaction should be pretty apparent. Like fish on a stream bank apparent. Mr. Englert made the argument that the risk was justified because the second drug was necessary to maintain “the dignity of the process.” Not that the second drug was necessary to complete the execution, but only that, “You don’t want to have unpleasant appearance of death at the time.”
Which brings me to my point. The unpleasant appearance of death? Do juries think the person is going to “live on a farm” when the verdict is rendered? It’s not like death row is a tank in a dentist’s office and inmates gets to go back out to sea when they get flushed, kids. Who cares if the death has an unpleasant appearance? I’m not making an argument for or against the death penalty here, but I generally believe death = unpleasant. The idea that executions need to be “dignified” for the watcher is absurd.
Do you think the condemned really cares? Obviously they care if it is painful, but do they honestly care how uncomfortable the witnesses and the warden are? If it were up to me I’d want to go in the most messy and disgusting way possible. If you’re going to kill me you should have to get your hands and your psyche dirty. If you’re going to execute me, I want it to be painless for me, and Tarantino directing it on pay per view. Just saying.

Dear RJ

2008-01-24T09:48:00.000-08:00

Dear RJ
Are you now or have you ever been a member of the Communist Party or any organization dedicated to the over throw of the democratically elected government of the United States of America? Who are your employers, have you been convicted of or arrested for anything, where have you lived for the last ten years, can you prove you were born in this country, what were you doing in Guatemala that time, can you name 8 people who aren’t related to you or who didn’t go to law school with you who are willing to say that you won’t bring shame to the legal profession, was that girl in Waikiki, did you pay full price for all of the music in your iTunes library, when was your last prostate exam, are you dating anyone, and did you enclose your check for $415?

Bullshit Asinine Requirements

Dear BAR
There’s no place that I’d rather be than right here with my white socks, red necks, and blue ribbon beer.

Dear RJ,
I was downstairs the other day and I noticed that there might be a crack or two in the building’s foundation. I was thinking of having it checked out so I could make sure everything is ok but I thought maybe I should sound the alarm to the whole student body so that everyone can panic. Oh... and I figured I’d lock the doors and trap them inside while I investigate. Because if the whole building is going to fall on our heads in a week we’re MUCH better off spending the next four days in a constant state of uncertainty.

Student Caring About Recent Educational Decisions

Dear SCARED,
I have to assume you are using sarcasm to refer obliquely to the exam situation, the grades situation, the construction situation, the move or not to move or sort of but not really move but just be both places at once situation, the parking situation, and…well it goes on, and if I was a 1L, I might make some half-hearted joke about the administration’s liability under a suit for the intentional infliction of emotional distress, (Mental note. Ask Monique Lillard about the requirements of/for that. I could use some cash to study for the bar) but I am sure that there is a committee discussing the decision to form a committee to discuss the possibility that there might be a problem with, well, it seems like damn near everything lately, and that if there is, the forming of a committee to define the problems, how best to ignore them, and how many students should be on the committee. So, you see, it’s all under control and you have nothing to worry about. At least if you’re graduating this year - except getting that letter that explains how Idaho grades harder than other Law Schools to show potential employers. Or if you aren’t graduating, you might consider worrying about what classes are going to be offered, how you aren’t going to be able to get into them, how they conflict with other classes, if the electronics are ever going to get into 104, if you are ever going to see the inside of the courtroom again, which Professor is going to bail out or retire next, what it is going to cost you to move to Boise part way through Law School, what’s going to go wrong with examsoft next, whether you’re going to have to re-take another final through no fault of your own, whether you are going to be misled about what or how to study, how you’re…uh, Jeez. It does sound pretty bad, doesn’t it? Do you just want to give me a call, and we can go get a drink later and commiserate?

Dear RJ,
I know you have addressed it before, but what in the name of all that is good and holy is the deal with the roads in this burg in the winter time?
Student Looking at Ice Debacle

Dear SLID
What do you mean? You have collision insurance right? Drive more carefully. There is no reason to do more than polish the roads to a fine icy glaze. If they took care of the road by removing all of the obvious ice and snow, black ice might occur, and you wouldn’t know they were slippery and you wouldn’t drive as carefully. Icy shitty roads are for your own good. Since you drive a ’55 Studebaker, salting the road might cause your car to rust. Modern vehicles don’t have rust resistant panels and paint and undercoating, and a certain amount of plastic instead of pressed iron and steel do they? The sound of chains on the road is very soothing.

Dear RJ,
Where are you going to take the Bar exam? Did you look at that email I had your step-mother send you about the house for sale in Texas? Who are you staying with after you graduate? Graduation is the 11th right? You still have a place for us to stay? What are you going to do with your life? I found an ad for a professional bodyguard/mercenary company in Houston, you’re going to be bored as a lawyer.

Devoted and Dear

Dear DAD,
The Texas Bar…I am going to drive to Texas, get drunk twice, and then start studying for the Bar exam. For the love of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, that’s all I know, but could you have Sharon send me the link for that job in Houston?

Dear RJ,
What did you do over break?
Person at Lawschool

Dear PAL
I spent a week in New York City, linked up with some old friends from college, and see above question and answer. See above question and answer. See above question and answer.

More Halloween Pictures

2007-11-07T15:26:00.000-08:00

Scaring up some fun

2007-11-07T15:10:00.000-08:00

Zombies not the cause of noise in Room 104

2007-11-07T15:09:00.001-08:00

by Lacey Rammell-O’Brien

There I was, diligently transcribing Professor Anderson’s study visuals from the board onto my laptop screen (what does “circle circle circle, A, LC, arrow” stand for again?), lulled into trance-like contemplation by the denim-colored stripes of Anderson’s new shirt and black suspenders when suddenly the intricacies of MBCA § 6.40 were drowned out by some kind of loud, low droning.
Since it was Halloween, my first thought went to zombies. But zombies don’t exist, I reminded myself.
What about those 1L’s? They’ve had that vacant, zombie-like stare lately. And I’m pretty sure I heard a small group of them saying “BRAAAAIN! BRAAAIN!” the other day. That’s pretty common 1L behavior. Then again, they could also have been saying “BRIAAAAN! BRIAAAAN!” Buckham’s name over and over in an attempt to absorb the entire outline through meditation.
With zombies having been ruled out, what could all the fuss next door possibly be?
The noise, the bipolar temperatures, the new dance floor in the hallway...suddenly it all came together. The law school is under construction! But why? What could have caused this strangely timed venture into renovation land? To what deviant cause could I blame… er, attribute this disruption to my legal education?
Only the most logical source.
Eric Haley, I am calling you out. This construction project is completely and entirely your fault. I always knew that your “creativity” and “sense of humor” and “incredibly chiseled features” would get all of us into trouble one day. I am, of course, referring to your Inter Alia article from last winter.
You thought that we’d forgotten about that little article, didn’t you? Or maybe you were just hoping that we had. Listen, just because I have the attention span of an A.D.D. Chihuahua doesn’t mean that you can pull a fast one and expect me not to notice the connection. You went too far, Haley.
Nobody, not NOBODY, makes fun of Dean Burnett’s overhead projectors and Dean Seamon’s horse and buggy. You knew full well that Burnett’s grandfather had bartered five bushels of lentils at the Farmer’s Market for each and every one of those overhead projectors.
You overstepped your bounds, and now the administration is exacting their revenge. Thanks a lot, funny man.
Sure, Seamon tries to cover up the conspiracy by promising to tell the construction workers to “pipe” down while they place pipe in 104. No man uses puns that bad unintentionally. Now he’s just toying with us.
So let this construction serve as a warning for all of you so-called potential “humor” writers… don’t target the technology in the law school unless you’re willing to have all of us pay the price.
And someone please give the 1L’s some fresh Buckham outlines before they start searching for fresh brains.

Heard Around the Law School

2007-11-07T15:07:00.001-08:00

compiled by R.J. Linnan

• Kurdish Turds
• I lost to a guy in a blow-up bull.
• An all access pass to back door land
• My mens rea was broken on Saturday
• I swear to God, if you dutch oven me, I’ll kick you in the nuts.
• Neal answered it better than I could
• How was it? Tippy.
• She’s not even hot anymore. Yeah, now I just want her to put her underwear ON.
• Jesus, big deal. EVEN PETE could kick his ass.
• WAIT! It was black?!?!?
• I thought that if I just sprinted in mid-air I would hit the ground running. I was wrong.
• Assholes gave me a headache today. Hopefully you have just one asshole. I do, silly. Then you don’t have to worry about the other ones.
• Is there a way that I can make all Hasko, kudos, book giveaway, and ‘The Crit’ emails go straight to junk? What the hell is ‘The Crit’ anyway and how did it get my email address?
• Have the courtesy to at least PRETEND that what you’re doing has something to do with class

Why move to Boise? We have night-school here!

2007-11-07T15:06:00.000-08:00

by Jordan Taylor

Silly of me to think my law school schedule would in any way resemble my old 8-5 work schedule. Also silly of me – registering for Professional Responsibility after 7:08 PM this Monday. Obviously that was way too late to get into §2. Those 2L’s....registering for Spring classes within 5 minutes of opening is obviously much more important than attending Fall classes....
What irks me the most about Spring 2008?
The 6 hour gap between Con II and Evidence? There is only so much web to surf between classes. Staying at school until 8 PM on Fridays? Don’t they know its ski season ! 104’s continued hiatus? I’m beginning to wonder if that inane Westlaw training will be my only experience in that room.
It looks like the transition to night school is coming sooner than we think.

Ask RJ

2007-11-07T15:05:00.000-08:00

Dear RJ,
My friends and I have submitted answers to last week’s quiz but have not heard who won the dinner at RJ & Josh’s house.

Man About Really Knowing

Dear MARK,
As you know, according to the University of Idaho, College of Law Honor Code students must refrain from or report any act of false statement, breach of trust, or interference with property, so I am certain that Mr. Fletcher will be in contact with the editors of interalia and me to arrange for payment of the prize for one of the winners. Mr. Fletcher will undoubtedly be purchasing groceries for the dinner that he offered as a prize in advertising the contest. We will keep you posted.

Dear RJ,
Why did the rear entrance to the law school sound like the world’s larges vibrator this week?

Bothered by Loud Obnoxious Wackiness

Dear BLOW
I heard that they are converting the courtroom into something… better. That’s all I know.

Dear RJ,
Why are you so mean and sarcastic?

Student
Advocating Pleasantries

Dear SAP
I am a former romantic; jaded disillusioned, and lacking faith in human nature. And I don’t like you.

Dear RJ,
I need some serious advice. Lately, I have been getting the feeling that people are talking about me. I don’t get this feeling because people approach me themselves or because I overhear them in the hallways. Sadly RJ, I get this feeling because people we go to school with are assholes. Maybe (and this is what I need help with) they are just bored. And maybe they know me better than I know myself and feel like it isn’t necessary to ask me things that are none of their business. And THAT is why they like to have group discussions about my life and what I am doing. What do you think? I suppose it could be because they think I am so interesting. Or it could be that those people really like “The Hills” and long to bring some of that jerkstore drama into their own backyards. Or it could be that it is much easier to discuss my life amongst themselves than to talk to me about it in person. Lately I have come to realize that if we learn anything at all in law school, is that it’s better to speculate and rely on hearsay than it is to get solid evidence from the source. RJ, what should I do?

Her Every Single Trait Examined
Regularly

Dear HESTER,
First of all, don’t feel like Tigger, cause you’re not the only one. There are several people around that law school about whom others feel it necessary to postulate, speculate, defenestrate, obfuscate, communicate, equivocate, fantasticate, implicate, prognosticate (occasionally) advocate, and fornicate. Another problem is that it isn’t just the students doing all of this complicating, there are those on the faculty and staff who sometimes feel it necessary to jump on the bandwagon. There is at least one person in each class who is suffering the slings and arrows of the viperous, lecherous, and jealous. Let’s face it, the simple truth of the matter is that there isn’t much to be done for it except to carry yourself with dignity, and take the opportunity to look people in the eye whenever you can. And smile. If you’re looking them in the eye and smiling, they won’t see me bending down behind them so you can push them down. In a heap. Crying.

Dear RJ
Why is it that Professors can force you to go to class simply so they can spout off their personal political agendas?

Student Tired, Unconvinced Of Diehard Rhetoric

Dear STUDOR
We, as people, tend to surround ourselves with other people who agree with us, so without a professor spouting opinions that were completely foreign to everyone but Mike French, how would you know that those opinions were even out there? Law school is all about being exposed to other people’s opinions, and then doing your best to prove them wrong.

Dear RJ,
The ACLU does suck, so what’s the big deal?

A Serious Student

Dear ASS,

The problem isn’t the ACLU, it’s their advertising and reputation. Clearly to appeal to someone like you, they shouldn’t focus on their work in minority rights, for women’s rights, voting rights, reproductive freedom, or gay rights. Perhaps if you knew that they also worked to defend the right to keep and bear arms, freedom of and from religion, free speech (even of Supremacists, and protestors), and the mentally disabled, you would feel differently. Maybe if you were told the organization was dedicated to EVERYONE’S civil liberties, regardless of their political background or views you would feel differently. Or maybe if you knew that they were working to defend someone like Larry Craig, a man who is anti gay rights, Canadian lumber, and taxes, and pro agriculture, dams, and guns you’d realize that it isn’t just a liberal organization. Or maybe you’re just a douchebag.

Stepping Out: Professor Dumbledore denies allegations that he is gay, loves witch

2007-11-07T15:01:00.001-08:00

by Josh Studor

by Josh Studor

“I am not gay. I never have been gay. I love my students and my life’s work teaching at Hogwart’s School for Witchcraft and Wizardry,” Headmaster Albus Dumbledore, 126, told reporters last week.
“It is simply outrageous to imply that my friendship with Gellert Grindelwald was anything more than a healthy, non-sexual, relationship between two wizards.”
Dumbledore’s comments came after author J.K. Rowling outed the acclaimed wizard at a Carnegie Hall lecture in late October of this year. At the lecture, a young Harry Potter fan asked Rowling if Dumbledore had ever been in love.
“My truthful answer to you,” she replied, “I always thought of Dumbledore as gay.” She then went on to say that Dumbledore was blinded to the evil nature of Grindelwald because he had fallen in love with the dark wizard.
“The allegations are simply outrageous,” Dumbledore said at a London press conference held days after Rowling’s comments.
Dumbledore has already scheduled an hour-long interview with Rita Skeeter on the muggle TV program 60-Minutes. Reports indicate that he will bring someone who Dumbledore calls his real true love – a witch who lives in Chicago with her three children from a different wizard.
It appears as though Dumbledore’s political and professional life could be over soon. Calls for his resignation from the Wizengamot came in almost immediately and he has already lost is position as chair of the International Confederation of Wizards. The loudest voice came from self-proclaimed protector of the morals and decency, Dolores Umbridge.
“Won’t somebody please think of the children,” she cried out from the Wizengamot floor.
Rowling’s statements are not the first alluding to Dumbledore alternative sexuality.
Rumors of Dumbledore’s proclivities erupted following the now infamous Prefect scandal of the 1980s. In 1984, former defense against the dark arts professor Amycus Carrow resigned after it was revealed that he had been involved with the male prefects from Slytherin House. In the midst of the controversy, Dumbledore, who had not been accused at the time, held a press conference denying any involvement.
“Its a, ‘Bad boy, Mr. Carrow. You’re a naughty boy,’” Dumbledore said. “I’m going to speak out for the students of my house, who in the majority think that Amycus Carrow is probably even a nasty, bad, naughty boy.”
An independent investigation by the Ministry of Magic’s top Aurors absolved Dumbledore of wrong doing but the rumors that Dumbledore had been involved never truly subsided.
Just last year, the interview of an anonymous source published in the Quibbler alleged that Dumbledore had met up with men in a variety of muggle bathrooms. The source went on to say that nothing ever happened because the men would see the 100-year-old wizard’s foot tapping under the stall wall and say, “Nu uh grandpa. You look nothing like your picture on Craigslist.”
Last summer, The Daily Profit published a series of articles about all the rumors but came to no conclusion. However, one particular charge that Dumbledore “cruised” a man at a broom store in London in 1994 prompted a direct response:
“I’ve been in this business more than 50 years in the public eye here,” Dumbledore said, “I don’t go around anywhere hitting on wizards, and by God, if I did, I wouldn’t do it in Diagon Alley! Jiminy.”
The current allegations have lead to wide-spread speculation. One of the most common beliefs is that Dumbledore spurned He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named while he was a student at Hogwarts. This, speculators say, is why He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named hates Dumbledore so much.
“It would explain a lot,” Professor Minerva McGonagall said. “Back in the ‘60s, when Voldemort was at Hogwarts, he had many older male friends who other students avoided. I caught him lurking around outside the headmaster’s office several times. I always just assumed he was plotting to kill the professor.”
He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named refused to comment, but cursed Dumbledore for being incapable of love.
Dumbledore’s outing has also prompted conjecture as to other individuals with whom Dumbledore associated – most notably regarding The Boy Who Lived.
“That Potter boy and him had something going on; that’s for sure,” Lucius Malfoy said while peeking through the door of Severus Snape’s private quarters. “I mean, how else did a half-blood get to be Dumbledore’s favorite?”
As of the time of publication, Harry Potter had not returned this reporter’s owls.

IMAX prompts law school’s move to Boise

2007-11-07T15:00:00.001-08:00

by Eric Haley

If you aren’t aware, the law school is about to get a little face lift called Boise. Details are still being worked out and the law school, to some extent, will maintain a Moscow campus but the writing is on the wall, Boise is about to get “Vandalized.”
Dean Seamon sat down with Inter Alia and explained:
The move to Boise is a touchy subject but we have to face the facts, Moscow is never going to get an IMAX theater. The faculty took the annual road trip to Boise this summer and numero uno on the itinerary was Transformers at the IMAX and it did not disappoint.”
However, it did raise questions about the future of the law school. More then once, Professor MacDonald was shooshed for asking “Are you seeing this? Can somebody explain to me why we are in Moscow? Look at the size of that robot! Seriously, anybody, why are we in Moscow when the IMAX is here in Boise, who decides?”
Sure, it was unsettling, but Seamon was determined to exercise caution in the face of the beautiful cinematic experience.
“You can’t just uproot a law school because of a theater……or can you?” he asked
The van ride to Applebee’s was somber to say the least. Professor ONeal tried to lighten the mood with a sarcastic quip, “Hey, what about that preview for the Bee Movie? We can all get together at my place to watch it on the 36 inch flat screen… sigh …when it comes out on DVD.”
Seamon said he was still holding out hope at that point that everyone was just hungry and a Riblet basket would soothe the ache to move to Boise. When they reached Applebee’s, everyone piled out of the van except one fuming individual.
Seamon asked Professor Goble if he wanted to join us for the “Spa for the tastebuds” that is Applebee’s but he gave him a look that made Nietzsche look like Paddington Bear.
“Any hoo, we got our table and the atmosphere was AMAZING!” Seamon said. “A look to the left introduced a happy family laughing as junior dropped his Wingy-ding in his lap, a look to the right would get you a rowdy group of blue-collar workers toasting their beers ‘To Applebees!,’ I tell ya, it was just like the commercials!”
But then the good times were shattered by a tornado of white beard and lockes. Professor Goble stormed the table with a pop quiz.
“Do not turn this over until I say so, you have 20 seconds to finish,” he bellowed.
“For God Sakes, man, how can you do this?!” cried out Dean Brandt.
“This town has a Chilis!” he replied and left the table in the same hurried fashion shaking his head in disappointment and stopping only at the entrance to shout “BEGIN!”
The group flipped the quiz over, and to everyone’s horror, there was only one question: 1. Moscow, WHY? : ( (answer must be 10 words exactly with no words breaching 7 letters).
That was the straw that broke the camel’s back. The group of Applebees goers all looked up, sharing a moment of realization that gives the soul goosebumps.
Finally, Professor Beard spoke up with the shot heard round the state, “Dean, you know it, I know it. Hell junior over yonder with his sloppy-ass wingy ding stained pants knows it. If Idaho Law is going to grow, and by grow I mean be close to the IMAX and anything not Applebees, we have to move the campus to Boise.”
The table went silent until a small, chipper voice broke in:
“Hi my name is Candice, I will be your server, can I start anyone off with some drinks?”
“No thanks Candice, we have a law school to move,” said Professor Anderson. “Ummm… how do you get to Chili’s? Or heck, why not live a little, what about Fridays? T.G.I. Fridays that is.”

LARPs confused, disappointed by recent LRAP presentation

2007-11-07T14:59:00.000-08:00

by Jordan Taylor

A handful of students met certain disappointment at the recent PILG presentation on Loan Repayment Assistance Programs. Apparently, some students thought they were attending a presentation on LARP (Live Action Role Playing). Instead the presentation was on LRAP (Loan Repayment Assistance Programs). It is uncertain if the mistake was due to a misprint or a misreading of signs and emails.
“I knew some people were confused when I saw a few students wearing medieval body armor and elf ears at the meeting,” said PILG President Jordan Taylor. “I want to be perfectly clear, PILG in no way supports or endorses Live Action Role Playing by anybody over the age of 12. Frankly, these people should be ashamed of themselves.”
There was audible disappointment in the room when the handful of LARPs realized the mistake. A few left immediately, battle axes in hand. Others, obviously embarrassed, tried to “pretend” they actually intended to attend the presentation on Loan Forgiveness.
Dan Davenport, director of financial aid, was also confused. He opened the presentation by wondering aloud, “What are all these dorks doing here?”
Eric Haley was among the disappointed LARPs. “When I walked in to the meeting, I was like ‘Wow, no way there are so many LARPs in the law school.’ Turns out I was right.”
“We are going to do everything we can to make sure this doesn’t happen again,” said Taylor, “I think an SBA resolution banning Live Action Role Playing, and expelling participants from the College of Law, would be a good start.”

3Ls Triumphant

2007-10-08T14:52:00.001-07:00

UPS (Brown) beats Hooligans (Royal Blue) in final WLC Powderpuff Football game; 1Ls limp home to lick wounds

by Eric Haley

On Friday Oct 5, with a wind chill factor of -218 degrees, the ladies of the law school took to the football fields to bring the pain in the grossly mislabeled yet supremely awesome, Powder Puff Football tournament. Two 1L teams made their inaugural run at the championship: Team 1-Hell and The Appropriators. As usual, the 1L little lambs served as a delicious snack for the 2 and 3L teams as 1-Hell dropped their first game to 2L’s The Hooligans and the second game to 3L’s UPS. The Appropriaters stayed out of the “L” column during the first round of play by utilizing “the bye”, however, they faced defeat at the hands of a snarling 2L Legally Pink who had just been packed and shipped to the loser’s bracket by UPS. The Appropriator’s fate was sealed with a subsequent loss to The Hooligans who put on a clinic of quarterback sneaks and superb passing. With vision’s of Jodi Felton interceptions still haunting Legally Pink, they faced elimination against The Hooligans in the 2L rival game. Pink’s QB, Janet Clark, put the ball in the air but The Hooligan’s defense proved too much leaving Pink scoreless in the game. Melissa Woods found the in-zone on an insane catch intended for a fellow receiver but batted out of the air by Legally Pink’s defense. Receptions by Laura Sbertoli helped The Hooligan’s march toward two touchdowns to seal the deal, leaving this Legally Pink Coach proud of his team and in hiding for all the shit he talked to obviously superior Hooligan Coaching Staff Matt, Josh and Neil. The championship game saw Coaches Witry, Zanetti, Mihara and staff lead UPS to victory as defensive warrior Sharon Mclaughlin dared The Hooligans to pass or run with crazy blitzing. UPS contained QB Suzie Jensen (who is used to running to the in-zone in her sleep) and glided down the field with excellent running by Amy Kingston. At the end of the night, UPS emerged unbeaten with a 14-0 win in the championship game. Congratulations UPS, 2007 Powder Puff Champions!

You’re just an obscure language or debilitating disease away from a great scholarship

2007-10-08T14:49:00.002-07:00

Dear RJ,
I am a little concerned with the cost of law school and living here in Moscow. Is there anything I can do to help supplement my college loans?
Befuddled Reader of Knowledge Emails

Dear BROKE
Well, part time jobs are not as abundant in Moscow as one might hope, especially for 1L’s and 2L’s but there is good news! There are lots of scholarships available, and our Office of Academic Support can link you up with them. Do you have an interest in Abkhazia and speak Gujarati? Are you interested in the Kingdom of Lesotho and speak Macedo-Romanian? Perhaps you’re a one legged autistic of Liechtensteinen descent or a homosexual diabetic with dwarfism? Then there is a scholarship that our Office of Academic Support can help you apply for!

Dear RJ,
Is it true that Instructor Laurie O’Neal hit Associate Professor Long with her car while he was on a bicycle?
A Worried Student

Dear AWS
Yes.

Dear RJ,
Is it true that Jimmy Mac is a Left Wing agenda promoting nut job who hit someone on a bicycle with his truck?
Con Law Student

Dear CLS
Jimmy Mac has not hit anyone on a bicycle with his truck.

Dear RJ
This summer I had a friend go through a costly and painful divorce. My friend was really low on money at the time so he asked the clinic if they could help him file his divorce but he was told that the clinic couldn’t take on a law student as a client because it was a conflict of interest for clinic students to have personal information about the people with whom they take classes. I have since learned that the clinic takes on students as clients fairly regularly, even if the student is in classes with law students, or is well known to the clinic students. Do the people in the clinic just hate my friend and me?
Perplexed By Policy.

Dear PBP,
The short answer is yes, the people running the clinic DO hate you and your friend, but there is an explanation. The students in clinic have a duty of confidentiality to the people they work with as clients, but that’s only for people they don’t know well. Full time attorneys who have taken the bar certainly don’t take friends and relatives on as clients! Besides, according to an unnamed and highly placed source in the clinic environs, law students ask a lot of pesky questions about their cases and are generally a pain in the ass as clients, so it is a lot easier to have a policy that, while making no logical sense, simply bars law students as clients altogether. This way, all of those pesky questions and that tricky confidentiality thing can be avoided.

Dear RJ,
I like to play Magic The Gathering. How can I find more people to play with?
Anonymous Annoying Reader of Nerdy Cards

Dear AARON,
I had to do some research to answer this question, but I have an answer for you. Apparently aside from going directly to the local hobby shop, logging time in Magic chat rooms, and going to conventions, you can go to the airport, sit down in a stall, and tap your foot repeatedly. If the person next to you taps his or her foot against yours in return, then you wave your hand under the stall while holding a Magic Card in your palm so that it can be seen, you just might have a playmate.

Dear RJ,
I heard that both 1L Powder Puff Teams left the tournament without having a playoff to see which team was better. Is this true? Why did it happen?
Fun and Naughty

Dear FAN
The 1L girls understand the true meaning of sportsmanship, that the endeavoring is more important than the win, that having nothing to prove, it was better to take a tie and make winners of all rather than making losers of some. Plus it was cold, and the 2L girls were really mean.

Whole school sued for copyright infringement

2007-10-08T14:49:00.001-07:00

by Ty Bair

Early Monday morning, very nearly every member of the Idaho Law community, including professors, students, administrative staff, clinic personnel, and custodians, was served with a “settlement letter” from the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA), which seeks damages for alleged violations of artist copyrights. The charges come in response to the recent arrest of Sean “Moscova Bazaar” Beck, who has for the last two years sold thousands of pieces of illegally copied music, movies, and novelty items in the basement of the Menard College of Law Building.
The accusations themselves are varied. 1L Andreus Schou is accused of downloading 1983’s Huey Lewis and the News work, Sports, the original release of which he actually remembers. 3L William Fletcher allegedly downloaded “dozens” of tracks by songstress Sarah McLachlan, including four different live versions of “Building a Mystery.” The only student who has not been charged with copyright infringement is 3L Lindsey Simon, who, astonishingly, paid for the sound tracks to High School Musical and High School Musical 2.
Some students have already moved to settle. 3L student Mindy Willman admits she downloaded the explicit version of NWA’s Straight Outta Compton, which is actually pretty awesome. Not surprisingly, 2L Neal Burns denied having downloaded the sound track to The Little Mermaid. Sole Canadian, Danielle Rowand, denies RIAA’s allegation that she downloaded Bryan Adams’s entire discography, although she admits to having downloaded a lot of Tragically Hip and Barenaked Ladies tracks.
Reactions to the RIAA’s actions have been mixed. Local musician “Hair Metal” Luke B. expressed support, although he declined to give his full name to this reporter, for fear of his safety. “I’ve worked for a lot of years to cultivate a hard-rock persona. It’s bullshit that someone can just download a copy of Appetite for Destruction and start aping my style without spending a penny. I bought that album on cassette!”
Mr. B. then threw the horns.
Other musicians were more ambivalent. “Fuck the RIAA. I’ve never made any money off music and they shouldn’t either,” said singer-songwriter Trent B., who also declined to give his full name.
The actual effect of the RIAA’s legal threats may be minimal. Most members of the College of Law community, with the obvious exception of Katherine Spenner, are totally judgment proof. Furthermore, intellectual property experts Professors Bridy and Anderson note RIAA will probably sue a number of students across the street for every one of us it sues, potentially making us a long-term profit by drumming up business. Professor Anderson is himself accused of trademark violation, having marketed a signature line of yellow and red silk neckties, allegedly in violation of an existing trademark.
In related news, Motion Picture Association of America process servers have thus far failed in their attempts to serve a complaint on Professor Williams, whom they accuse of downloading and watching the entire series run of Sex and the City. Twice.

2007-10-08T14:47:00.002-07:00

College of Law approaches 1,000th “Be quiet” message

2007-10-08T14:47:00.001-07:00

by Eric Haley

The students at the University of Idaho School of Law are abuzz this semester and the topic of conversation isn’t as centered around the Judicial branch of government as one might think. The school populace remains on pins and needles eager to watch the shattering of a milestone that many thought could never be reached. The next electronic mail (E-mail) requesting silence in the library will be the school’s 1000th mass communication on the subject.
“Back in 1800-and-something-or-other when the school was founded, the faculty had a bet as to when the school’s postal horseman would deliver the 300th letter requesting silence in the library, consensus was reached on the year 2753”, reported Dean Brandt. “Well, they were way off!”
“They didn’t bother predicting when the 500th mass request would come out because the founding Dean’s felt like the world would have long ceased due to the sun exploding into a red giant before it was necessary.”
University of Idaho Law School Historian Rose Duffy told this Inter Alia insider, “Yep. People have bitched about noise in the library ever since it was necessary to send actual paper mail but the “boo-hooeyness” really hit its stride with the invention of Morse Code. Take a gander at this little piece of University of Idaho Law history dated 1900 and 12 in the year of our Lord: Beep-beep-bu-beep-beep-beep. Can’t translate that? Didn’t think so, guess that is why I am the historian. It says, ‘Students, please be silent in the library, fellow students are trying to study.’ It was transmitted 215 times between 1912 and 1954. A little factoid most students are unaware of dates back to 1953, when a student actually hired a barber shop quartet to deliver a singing telegram to the student body at large requesting…SIIII-LEEENCE in THEEE LIBRARY….uh bom bom bom shooby du wop!”
The world wide web has been the single most important tool in the quest for 1000 by allowing students to tattle at the speed of light however, some students still resist the urge.
Two-L Nick Peterson commented, “I study in the library. Sometimes people walk by me and make eye contact with each other and that alone pisses me off. More then once, this has led to fleeting conversation as they pass by. When it happens, I usually repeat “There’s no place like home” over and over again until the rage subsides. Most of the time it works even if I am not wearing my ruby reds that day. Sure, it would be nice to go messy in my diaper and fire off a complaint to the SBA Sergeant at Arms but if I do I feel like it would just validate these verbal terrorists.”
When asked to gauge the effectiveness of “Be quiet in the library” e-mails on a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being “Yeah, when I read one I am totally reminded of the forgotten fact that the library is not a place to socialize so I shut my trap”) 2L Emma Wilson said, “Oh, I have my email set so that any emails with the words “library and silence” go to my spam folder so I have to give them a 1. But thats changing today out of respect for the 999 tattlers who got us here. My team is thinking about having Powder Puff practice in the second floor just so we can say we were the 1000th. WHOO HOO!

Overheard at the Law School

2007-10-08T14:46:00.000-07:00

by R.J. Linnan

• If I ever meet this McNichols guy, I’m gonna kick him in the nuts
• Wait. Jimmy Mac is getting sued?!
• Neil! Eat a bagel.
• Doesn’t study group imply that we should all be participating and not just tutoring one selfish asshole?
• What the hell does sustainability mean anyway? What are we trying to sustain, the shortage?
• I am not saying shit, I don’t want Salma to kick my ass.
• If they made yellow earbuds, do you think they would blend into my hair so that I could watch youtube in class?
• What are these books always doing here? Oh, they’re library books.
• Wait… is she CRYING?
• Oh WOW, Dude, you’ve got a strong stomach. That girl REEKS.
• Yeah, well I went to see Oprah, and got fuck all.
• I wanted to sing Hootie, and she cued It’s Raining Men.
• J. Miller makes a reference to Baron Harkonnen and suddenly all geeks in our class have been identified

2007-10-08T14:38:00.003-07:00

Please, let me enjoy my romance novels

2007-10-08T14:38:00.001-07:00

by Lindsey Simon

Law school has ruined a lot of things for me, like enjoying Law & Order and my capacity to be interesting to anyone not in law school. But of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my ability to suspend belief enough to enjoy cheesy romance novels the most.
Family law has been particularly destructive. After we learned that in many states unwed fathers must file with the putative father registry before or soon after the birth of the child in order to assert their paternal rights against an uncooperative mother. I was shocked! What does this do to one of my favorite romance novel plot devices (the good ol’ we-had-a-one-night-stand-and-you-got-pregnant-but-never-told-me-so-now-I’m-going-to-force-you-to-marry-me-or-live-with-me-under-threat-of-a-custody-battle-but-eventually-we-will-fall-in-love story line)? Don’t the heroines/mothers know that it would be very difficult for the heroes/fathers to win such a custody battle because they hadn’t registered? Then again, maybe the hero would have a claim if it’s not really his fault that he didn’t register because he was in prison when the baby was born since he met the heroine and they conceived the child after he escaped from prison and kidnapped her as his hostage but of course she succumbed to his rugged sensuality… (Yes, this is a real plot from a book, and yes, I read it. Don’t judge me.)
But what if hero wasn’t in prison and just dropped the heroine off at the airport after their one-time weekend fling?
Even if he is a professional hockey player, should he be able to threaten the heroine with a custody battle six years later until she agrees to let him see their daughter? The heroine should have seen a lawyer. —even if she was still hopelessly attracted to him—because clearly the deadbeat hero should have registered or checked in with her once or twice during the past six years if he was genuinely concerned with any potential offspring from the passionate affair. (Another real book. And yes, I read it, too.)
Oh well. At least I can say that they provide useful hypothetical fact patterns for Family Law problems. But I guess I should just accept that law school will claim my love of silly romance novels, along with my soul.

Check it Out

2007-10-08T14:35:00.000-07:00

Don’t have enough to read? The law library has some new, interesting books

by Anne Buike

Richard Posner’s The Little Book of Plagiarism (KF 1485 P67 2007) recently arrived at your law library and Judge Posner has packed a hot topic into the palm of your hand. His tome is an environmentally friendly 4.2 x 6.2 x 0.8 inches and won’t overtake your carrel, or thwart precious space previously allotted to your iPod jam packed with illegally obtained music in your designer bag. Furthermore Posner gives you something to say in a conversation with new Intellectual Property faculty member Annemarie Bridy, and also tips for your legal research. According to Amazon, people who purchased this book also purchased “Supreme Conflict : the inside story of the struggle for control of the United States Supreme Court” by Jan Greenberg, which is located at KF 8742 G74 2007.

Failure to Protect: America’s Sexual Predator Laws and the Rise of the Preventive State (KF 9325 J36 2006) by Eric Janus. Janus has written a book that may support your right to MySpace and Facebook freely. He discusses the result of elected officials and the media in regards to legislation and report of strangers as predators in relation to sexual violence. He has a different approach to preventing sexual violence, and it doesn’t involve setting up a sting operation with a Yahoo! Profile and having Chris Hansen with Dateline NBC on scene. Lastly, Janus critiques the “preventative state” and how it can affect civil liberties.

A Botanic Garden for the Nation: The United State Botanic Garden is perfect for the law student who is tired of reading, and would enjoy going back to a simpler time in life, reading books with lots of pictures. This government-produced book is rife with amazing full color photos of the grounds and specimens of the Botanic Garden located in our Nation’s Capital, Washington DC. Take a mini mental vaca and gaze upon pages 78 – 97, and imagine you are not sitting in the basement of the Menard Law Building and someone nearby has something stinky for lunch, but you are hiking through a jungle or a rainforest of a far off land. If you enjoy good espresso, don’t miss page 158 and the Bartholdi fountain, which can only create a relaxing feeling of being in Europe next summer after the school year has ended. Anne-Catherine Fallen has worked magic with her photographic eye, and with the Government Printing Office has created a masterpiece that is located at QK 73 U62 U553 2007.

A Little Stress Relief

2007-10-08T14:34:00.000-07:00

by Michael Witry

Are you feeling a little blue right now? Got the weight of the world on your shoulders? Finding law school a little too tough? Well, I’ve been there too. If you’re down and out and need a little ray of sunshine in your life, why not remind yourself of all the good things in life by singing a little song? Here’s a ditty I like to sing when I’m down in the dumps.
O Fortuna
velut luna
statu variabilis,
semper crescis
aut decrescis;
vita detestabilis
nunc obdurat
et tunc curat
ludo mentis aciem,
egestatem,
potestatem
dissolvit ut glaciem.
Sors immanis
et inanis,
rota tu volubilis,
nunc per ludum
dorsum nudum
fero tui sceleris.
Sors salutis
et virtutis
michi nunc contraria,
est affectus
et defectus
semper in angaria.
Hac in hora
sine mora
corde pulsum tangite;
quod per sortem
sternit fortem,
mecum omnes plangite!
Just don’t sing too loudly when your neighbors are trying to study.

Pieces of My Mind

2007-10-08T14:30:00.000-07:00

by Josh Studor

Moscow may be less free after Monday’s vote. Monday, Moscow City Council voted on an amendment to the city noise ordinance that would get rid of the need for a complaint before police can cite people for violations. The vote paves the way for a new form of pre-textual stop; a kind that targets an individual’s home.
Prior to this vote, officers had to receive a complaint and give the violator a warning. If a neighbor called in a second complaint within 48 hours, the officer could cite the noisy person. Police could not just show up and issue a citation.
Cops now can (assuming the ordinance passed).
Aside from the fact that noisy people might not be bothering anyone around them and the fact that nice neighbors just go ask the loud neighbor to tone it down; my problem is that officers can now have another way to use probable cause to look in our homes.
Picture this: 20 people are hanging out in an apartment drinking libations. Two of those 20 are underage. A cop drives by the apartment and hears some loud laughter and decides that his peace is disturbed. The cop goes up to the apartment door (complete with probable cause) and knocks.

Officer: “Hi there, do you know why I knocked on your door?”
Tenant: “No sir, did someone complain about some noise?”
Officer: “No, I just heard you all from the street. Is that alcohol?”
Tenant: “Yes.”
Officer: “Is there anyone here underage?”

Now comes a decision. Does tenant admit to there being underagers in the home and face a contributing charge OR does she lie and face a charge of providing false info or even obstructing? See the dilemma?
Lately, Moscow has been on a civil liberty violation rampage. Earlier this semester, they passed an ordinance making it illegal for more than four unrelated individuals to live together. Previously it was six. This sounds unconstitutional but no, the Supreme Court has ruled that ordinances like these are a valid use of police powers. So, those of you who are thinking of having your significant other move in with you and your three friends, think again. Or those poor college students who need to split a four-bedroom house five ways: forget it.
City Council elections are coming next month. I suggest you keep these new ordinances in mind when you mark your box. For the record, supporters of the noise bill include: John Weber, Bill Lambert and Mayor Nancy Chaney. At press time there was no word on how Aaron Ament or Linda Pall planned to vote.

A Minnesota judge has refused to allow Sen. Larry Craig (ID-R) to withdraw his guilty plea. Thank god! Why he thought he would be able to anyway is beyond me. The only reason he tried to withdraw is that the plea was made public. He was guilty as charged and needs to face the music.
Now, to all of you who are iffy about what he did being a crime, let me present the following: First, if he was soliciting sex with the man in the stall, he was not trying to get the guy to leave the airport, go to a hotel, mess around and go home. No, he was planning on sex right then and there. If that is unbelievable, look at Craigslist.com. It happens.
Plus, Craig knew what he was doing when he pled guilty. He had two months to consider his plea or consult with an attorney. He did a written plea out of the presence of a judge or a prosecutor. There was no undue pressure from the court or the state. If he didn’t think what he had done was a crime he wouldn’t have pleaded guilty. He’s a senator for Christ’s sake.
So, Mr. Craig, even though you refuse to, you should now resign in shame for being a hypocrite, a person who was conducting himself in a disorderly way, and, worse of all, for being a closeted homo in Idaho. Now it’s time to move to Miami, get a pool boy, and disappear into obscurity.

SODA Drag Show Photos

2007-09-10T14:35:00.000-07:00

Friday, Sept. 5, SODA (Sexual Orientation Diversity Alliance) held its annual drag show. Students and a faculty member performed in drag to raise money for SODA. The following are the first set of snap shots from that show.

Larry Craig Redefines "Gay

2007-09-05T09:37:00.000-07:00

by Josh Studor

As has been widely reported, three-term U.S. Senator and UI alumnus Larry Craig resigned last week after his conviction for disorderly conduct became public. In pleading guilty, Craig admitted that there was a factual basis to the allegations that he had attempted to solicit lewd conduct from an under-cover male police officer in a public Minneapolis airport bathroom.

Though he had previously admitted to the conduct, Craig now claims that his actions were nothing more than an awkwardly wide stance while using the crapper and a paper mirage.

But, much to the elation of political humorists – and people with the sense of humor of a fifth grader – the story doesn’t end there.

Following the initial report in Roll Call, Craig held a press conference to discuss the allegations. At that conference he thanked everyone for “coming out” and told reporters, “Let me be clear. I am not gay and never have been gay.”

This statement set off shockwaves throughout the whole gay community. Prior to Craig’s definitional clarification, gay people assumed that being gay meant being attracted to members of the same sex rather than members of the opposite sex. Now, everything is nutty.

Apparently, that means that men can solicit other men for sex in a bathroom, hook up with other dudes shopping at a Boise R.E.I., and have oral sex with another man in D.C.’s Union Station and not actually be gay. The logical extension of his definition is that men can generally have sex with other men and not be gay.

Such a realization sparked joy from at least one University of Idaho Law Student. “Ha! I knew it,” shouted Josh McCarthy. “I am gayer than Josh Studor.”

Following Craig’s press conference, at least one gay man called his mothers to say, “Hey mom. Did you see? I’m not gay. Yes, I still exclusively have sex with men and yes, you will still be able to complain about me not providing you with any grand children. But I’m not gay!”

During the press conference, the senator added to his definition of “gay” saying, “I love my wife, my family, I care about friends and staff and Idaho, I love serving this great state. There are still goals I would like to accomplish and I believe I can still be an effective leader for this state.”

Clearly, if you love your wife and family, care about your friends and staff and Idaho you can’t be gay. If you have goals you would like to accomplish or if you can still be an effective leader, you are not gay.

Though not reported, Craig went on to say, “of course I am not gay. I was in a fraternity.”

It has been widely reported that Idaho Gov. Butch Otter will appoint Lt. Gov. Jim Risch as Craig’s replacement, however, there is no word about whether Risch plans to solicit men for public sex. Also, there has been no word about just how butch Otter is.

Cop takes back airport restroom

2007-09-05T09:36:00.001-07:00

by Eric Haley

Another week, another political scandal. This one needs no introduction and I will save the obvious comedic route for the big boys like Robin Williams and Carrot Top. And besides, its hard to conjur cynicism at such a time of National celebration, LET FREEDOM RING AMERICA!
Through brave undercover operations involving strategic toilet stall monitoring and one cop who risked his life to portray the shins and feet of the criminal element, the police have taken back our (as in, We the people) Air port public restrooms, let’s dance!
Do you remember the days when the Air port public restrooms were a haven for strangers of the same sex to unwind and let their kids play after a long flight? Boy, I sure can. I remember being giddy with excitement when the Captain announced our decent into “Who gives a damnville” ( I couldn’t be bothered with questions of destination, I had visions of urinal cakes dancing in my head).
“Father, tell me, tell me, is the men’s room at this air port swell?”
“Son, when I was a boy, this was the best Air port restroom ever. Urinals short and tall, lined the walls in the Grown up’s “new arrival meet and greet” area, and there were stalls as far as the eye can see for boys to crawl under and be rascals.”
“Oh boy! I sure hope this one has hot air hand dryers and not the boring old paper towels.” I said with anticipation that rivaled a run to the tree on Christmas morning.
“We will just have to see when we get there.” He said with a knowing wink (Years later my father confessed he knew there would be hot air hand dryers but he didn’t want to ruin the surprise)
“Hooray! This shitter sounds fantastic!”
“I know son, I know.”
But what was once an oasis of wholesome family oriented fellowship had degenerated into a den of sins of the flesh. The meet and greets turned into meat markets and you could forget trusting the stall users to ignore the children playing under their feet. Yes, the children’s laughter and jovial exchanges were replaced with unspeakable propositions to engage in sexual activity in quiet possibly the most bacteria-laden environment on the planet. Soon, the Air port public restroom became what it is today, an icy prison used only to excrete bodily waste and move on.
But as American’s were we to stand by and let the criminal element takeover one of the relics that makes America great? If criminals looking for a discrete romp with strangers could invade the stalls where our children crawled and played, then why the hell do we have a police force? Thankfully, one police force in Minneapolis had enough and decided to take the fight to these harmless but unquestionably gross criminals. If these criminals were going to hide in the stalls and use code to discretely communicate their wish to do evil then, well by God, an under cover agent of lady justice would be waiting in the stall next to them. The seedy element of society has been put on notice, if you want discrete anonymous sex, the Air port public restroom better not be on your places to visit.
I don’t have a kid, or really want one but if I had one, and it was a boy (or a girl if it becomes socially acceptable for me to take her to the women’s room) I would proudly fly him to Minneapolis and when the plane lands I would look down into his eyes and choking back tears I would tell him,
“C’mon son, there’s a little piece of the Apple Pie, once taken by evil but now back in the hands of the citizens thanks to the undercover police, you go play in the stalls in the restroom when we land, Daddy’s gotta drop a deuce.”

Get to know Moscow

2007-09-05T09:34:00.000-07:00

So, you’re new in town or you’ve spent WAY too much time in the library (you know who you are) Well, here’s a brief guide to the top 25 locales of note (listed in no particular order) in the great city of Moscow. The first thing you need to know is, go downtown. That’s basically where everything is. Next, it is really hard to find interesting things to do during your time off. Granted, it’s probably also hard to find time off too. But if you do it right, you can play hard and work only as hard as you actually need to.

1. The Law School. You’re probably here right now. If you don’t know where that is... didn’t I see you at the Plant the other day?
2. The “Mall.” This glorious shopping bonanza contains Macy’s; Ross; Bed, Bath, and Beyond; Qdoba; Starbucks;and other places you can spend your financial aid. It’s not real money anyway — right?
3. The Kibbie Dome. You didn’t come here for the football right? At least tailgating is still fun.
4. The Plantation. Home of the yearly back to school and Halloween parties, karaoke on Friday and Saturday, bar games, bacteria, and the occasional grey-out.
5. The East Side Market. Yes, we are big enough to have an East side. This is the other pseudo-mall that has Safeway, a movie rental place, a Mexican restaurant, a Mongolian BBQ, and a “movie theater.” See Pullman for a decent theater.
6. WinCo. The largest, cheapest, and most annoying grocery store in town. And everyone knows it. It’s always packed - even at 3 a.m.
7. John’s Alley. Hippies, over-priced booze, hippies, and the same crappy jam band every weekend - what more could you ask for. Yes, the band names are different but they are the same. Trust me.
8. The Garden. You can find a law student or five almost every night of the week, but you’ll smell like you had an old school wrestling match in an ash-tray when you come out of there. Mondays = cheap drink night.
9. The Co-op. Locally grown, organic, and gold-covered. There is a bit of an excess of smug and way too much kale.
10. One World Cafe. The best coffee shop in Moscow but good luck finding a table. When you are sick of studying, you can always crack open a Spaten beer.
11. The Beach. Perhaps the only bar on the planet where you can find line dancing, step dancing, and cross-dressers in the same bar — on different nights of the week though. It boasts generally tacky décor, no hard alcohol, and is thoroughly schizophrenic.
12. C.J.’s. Moscow’s only dance club but no self-respecting law student goes here. It’s owned by a guy who told this reporter, “I specifically designed this place to get guys laid.”
13. The Corner Club. Also called, “The Club,” you enter this place a normal person and leave smelling like a fratboy who smoked a carton. It is essentially a concrete bunker that sells cheap tubs.
14. Loco Grinz. Serves great Hawai’ian plate lunch even during our crappy winters.
15. San Miguel’s. It used to be a taco truck. Now it’s the best Mexican food in town. Still, it was better at 2 a.m. on the way home from the bar.
16. Pattie’s Kitchen. Forget Qdoba, this is the place for great burritos. Plus, they cater the Welcome Back Picnic.
17. The Ale House. They brew their own beer, which is pretty good. But the food is usually overcooked and the wait staff is generally pretty bad but you are there for the beer.
18. The Red Door. Moscow’s “fancy” restaurant. A good place for a date, good food, good wine selection, French sauces, and 3L Josh McCarthy as your waitress.
19. Nectar. Good wine selection, an ever-changing menu, and an atmosphere that makes you forget you’re in Moscow, which you’ll want, especially after summer gives up her fight and the slopes are too far away with the homework that you have left to do.
20. Wal-Mart. Your source for cheap plastic crap made in China. Sure, it might be covered in lead or kill you, your children, or your pets but it’s cheap right?
21. Sangria. Another good date place as long as you don’t mind that wonderful Moscow smell of cow and suage drifting in whily you eat. Also a bit ironically, their sangria isn’t very good.
22. Wingers. If I have to explain after you read the name, you lied no your law school application. Uside, they have satelite TV so if you need to watch a game on Fox, you can do it there.
23. The Quiet Bar/University Inn. Lots of law school events happen here and I guess this is another “fancy” place. The Pantry isn’t so hot but the other places to eat and drink are pretty good.
24. The Student Rec Center. If you can avoid the place between 3 and 9 p.m., you’ll be doing yourself a favor. I mean, the view’s not bad but there are so many tools it’s like walking into Home Depot.
25. The 1912 Building. A frequent location for law school get-togethers.

Sadly, that’s about it. But you should be studying anyway.

Legal Nuggets

2007-09-05T09:33:00.001-07:00

by E. Wilson

Vick pleas guilty in dog-fighting controversy
Falcons quarterback Michael Vick. After initially denying involvement and blaming his cousin and friends, Vick pleaded guilty last Monday to federal dog fighting charges. The athlete will be sentenced December 10 and could face up to five years in prison. Though the NFL suspended Vick indefinitely, some people are confident he will return to the game at some point. In terms of his contract, the Falcons are trying to recoup $22 million in bonus money he received as part of the $130 million contract he signed back in 2004.

That’s a lot of money y’all!
K-Fed wants Brittany to fork over $50K for his legal expenses in the couple’s divorce case. The pair has been battling over custody of their two children, 23-month-old Sean Preston and 11-month-old Jayden James, since their divorce became final in July. Though he currently receives $20K per month in spousal support, Federline’s attorney claims there is nothing left after the rapper’s various expenses. Kools, wife-beaters, and Coors Light can really add up!

90 hours = 82 minutes??
At least when you’re a celebrity behind bars it does. Nicole Richie served time August 23 in the same L.A. county jail as her friend,Ms. Hilton, after pleading guilty to a misdemeanor DUI charge. The socialite was originally sentenced to 96 hours in jail, but had it reduced to 90 after factoring in the time she spend immediately following her arrest. Thanks to overcrowding, she didn’t even make it to her cell, and was released after going through the booking area. Richie received the DUI December 11 after driving her Mercedes the wrong way on a freeway. She admitted to police that she smoked marijuana and took the painkiller, Vicodin, prior to driving.

Survivor for Kids
The New Mexico Attorney General’s office is looking into whether CBS violated any child labor laws while filming Kid Nation, a new reality show featuring 40 kids who are left alone in a mock ghost town to build their own society. The network reportedly scooted around the state’s labor rules by declaring the show a summer camp, (one that just happened to have a production crew) instead of a place of employment.

The Power of Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris CAN believe it’s not butter. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs. Well, watch out Chuck Norris, because Mrs. Idaho is about to give you a roundhouse kick out of the spotlight. The Mrs. America contestant sprung into action last Sunday when fellow beauty Mrs. Tennessee was bit by a rattlesnake. The women were on their way to rehearsals for the September 5 finals, when the snake attacked. Fortunately, Mrs. Idaho (also a nurse) quickly extracted the snake’s fangs from her friend’s foot and helped her to the hospital, where doctors injected 10 vials of antivenom. Mrs. Idaho has two speeds: Walk, and Kill. Mrs. Idaho does not sleep. She waits.

He’s the baby’s daddy
After denying he fathered a child with Scary Spice, (AKA Melanie Brown) Eddie Murphy confirmed he was indeed the baby’s daddy following a DNA test that proved he was the father. Murphy divorced from his wife last April, with whom he has five children. The actor finally acknowledged Baby Scary in June, and decided to celebrate the occasion by asking his girlfriend, Tracey Edmonds (recent ex-wife of singer/songwriter “Babyface” Edmonds) to wed a month later. How romantic!

He’s not the daddy.
Or at least he’s not admitting it. Actor Jack Nicholson is denying allegations that he is the father of an illegitimate handicapped son. In an unauthorized biography coming out in October, author Dennis McDougal claims it is common knowledge that the actor has at least 5 love children in addition to his daughter Jennifer, but that he possibly has two more (including the handicap son).

No get out of jail card
Former Durham County District Attorney Mike Nifong was sentenced Friday to a day in jail, after being held in criminal contempt of court for lying to a judge during his pursuit of rape charges against three falsely accused Duke Lacrosse players in 2006. Nifong, who had already lost his law license and resigned from office, was facing up to 30 days in jail and a $500 fine. Instead, the judge sentenced him to jail as a symbolic gesture aimed at protecting the integrity of the justice system.

Also visiting the slammer…
Our favorite messed up celebrity, L.L. The actress copped a plea Thursday on misdemeanor drunken driving and cocaine charges, stemming from two separate arrests – one on May 26 in Beverly Hills and the other on July 24 in Santa Monica. Both incidents were immediately following the actress’s stints in rehab. Lohan will spend one day in jail, serve 10 days of community service, and complete a drug treatment program.

What a lucky b*%$!
“Queen of Mean” Leona Helmsley died August 20, leaving $12 million dollars to her Maltese, Trouble, and nothing for two of her grandchildren, “for reasons that are known to them.” Ouch.

First-years need pro bono credit

2007-09-05T09:32:00.001-07:00

by Jordan Taylor

As I wrote in these pages last year, the current pro bono policy of the College of Law is that First Year students cannot receive any pro bono credit until after the end of spring semester exams. After lobbying by outgoing SBA President Pele Peacock and others, the Pro Bono Advisory Committee recently submitted a new proposal to the Faculty Council for a vote by the faculty.
The proposal is as follows:
All pro bono work done by the class of 2010 during their 1L second semester will count toward the graduation requirement. For the class of 2009 pro bono done during their second semester will count towards graduation recognition. Students who have complete 80 and 120 hours of pro bono will receive special “graduation recognition.” There will also be special award for select students who have demonstrated outstanding personal service in the area of pro bono.
Note that 1L’s can receive pro bono credit for activities in addition to Alternative Spring Break, such as LSADR Mediations in Small Claims Court, Education Programs, and many other pro bono programs. The standard for granting pro bono credit will be the same for 1L’s as it is for all other students.
I think this proposal is fair and reasonable. Last year I criticized the faculty as being overly paternalistic for not granting 1L’s pro bono credit. After looking in to the issue, it seems the faculty was merely negligent in
PRO BONO continued Page 8
addressing the issue – the issue came up at the end of a long meeting and lost in a narrow vote.
There are many reasons to grant 1L’s pro bono. Many 1L’s are going to be doing the work regardless; they might as well get credit for it. Also, the school has “mandatory pro bono” – they should not discourage those who have a genuine interest early on from participating. Finally, there is a lot of need and 1L’s can do a lot of great things.
The faculty will be voting on the above proposal on SEPT 5th at 3:30. If you feel as strongly about this issue as I do, I encourage you to talk to your professors and let them know why 1L’s should receive pro bono credit. Track them down in the hall, send them an email, or go to their office. If the faculty recognizes how passionate the students are about pro bono, they will surely allow 1L’s to get involved.

Deep Thoughts

2007-09-05T09:31:00.003-07:00

by R.J. Linnan

As possible, I respond to letters in a column called “Dear, RJ.” Since it’s early, and I don’t have any questions, I give you dear readers a short list of thoughts overheard in the first three weeks of school, and relayed to me by a mind reading law student who wishes to remain anonymous.

• Jesus, did they catch E.T in the lobby?
• One more SECOND of DIVERSITY training, and I am going to choke someone.
• Lawyers drink too much. I GET IT!!
• Does Dean Burnett use any words that AREN’T in Black’s Law Dictionary?
• This chick bugs me.
• What time does the liquor store close?
• 15 minutes left.
• Who IS this chick??
• “Whereas.” What an ass.
• “Last night it was Guinness, Scotch, and Grand Marnier.” – “Oh, so it was like an embassy party.”
• “As a prosecutor, you’re going to find a lot of your witnesses are scumbags.” I wonder if he is including cops.
• I must have been reading from the wrong part of the book.
• Why does that guy PERPETUALLY have sunglasses on his head?
• How does she talk that fast?
• Great. Introductions again. I REALLY don’t want to know any more about this person
• Is it too late to go to business school?
• Is RJ DANCING??
• Who told Kenzo he could sing?
• Did I call him a douchebag on Saturday? Ah, shit… I think I called him a douchebag on Saturday.
• Re-distribute all the wealth, huh, Che McCarthy?
• So bored
• How many frickin’ IM windows does she have open??
• For the love of GOD it’s hot in this room. Why can’t there just be ONE TEMPERATURE in this f-ing building??
• Please don’t call on me. Please don’t call on me.
• Suck up.
• A wide stance huh?
• Wait. Larry Craig never hit on me.
• Giant sucking noise, huh? I thought that was just Moscow.
• Giant sucking noise? Maybe it was coming from Senator Craig’s office.

For future Inter Alia issues, please send your Dear RJ questions to rjlinnan@vandals.uidaho.edu. Past questions have included queries into the reason that pedestrians and bicyclists in Moscow are such ridiculously annoying idiots, confrontations with teachers, confrontations with classmates, and Lance Armstrong’s testicles, so feel free to write on whatever topic you’d like, and I will look forward to trying to help.

Law School Dos and Don'ts

2007-09-05T09:31:00.001-07:00

by Mark Coppin
Don’t: Submit articles to Inter Alia with the sole purpose of offending the entire student body. Doing this may create a dangerous bottleneck of would-be complainers attempting to gain access to the Dean’s office. Here’s a tip: If you must offend, attempt to alienate a single student or group of students one week at a time. This will create a steady, manageable stream of complaints and drama and avoid the dangerous deluge of torch wielding villagers.
Do: Recycle. Even if you hate the environment, trees, and dirt worshiping hippies, it is just easier to throw your plastic bottle in the bin marked “Plastic Only” than it is to listen to the tree huggers whine. Save the eardrums! Recycle.
Don’t: Rush in to the classroom before the other class has had a chance to get up out of their seats and exit the classroom. As eager as you may be to dive in to the day’s learning, it’s not going to happen any faster by rushing the room. The professor will still wait until the designated start time and you’re only going to make the aisles feel like Wal-Mart on back-to-school weekend.
Do: Get involved in clubs and organizations/Attend social events. You are not allowed to complain about the law school, Moscow, or North Idaho if you refuse to participate and contribute to the efforts to make life here a little better.
Don’t: Raise your hand in class. While you may think we all care that you used to work in a job that gives you some special insight into the practical application of some concept, we really don’t. Do not waste our time because you feel the need to supplement the course materials with your own anecdotal observations about life in the small town where you grew up. If you find yourself starting a comment with “As a [insert qualifying characteristic]…” stop! Take a deep breath.
Do: Raise your hand in class to answer questions. We all have to chip in folks. The awkward silence that follows a professor’s plea for “anyone” who may know the answer is almost as painful as the annoying sound of the same two people answering questions every day. To make matters worse these people are often the same people guilty of instructing professors (see above). Take one for the team. Raise your hand every now and then.
Don’t: Stare at your neighbors’ laptop screen. If the student next to you chooses to play solitaire, send instant messages, shop for shoes, write in their blog, check sports scores, or even look at porn, it’s none of your business. If you feel the need to complain to professors about the things appearing on the surrounding screens, you probably need a life. We take finals on the same notebooks in the same classrooms. Get in the habit of keeping your eyes on your own work.
Do: Shower and use deodorant. You know who you are and your odor bothers us almost as bad as your whining about recycling.
Don’t: “Phu” the food. Contrary to what many students may think, nobody owes you a free lunch. If you want to partake of the bribe, at least have the decency to stay for the meeting. Also, staying for the meeting means at least pretending to pay attention.
Editor’s Note:
Phu (foo) verb
1. To attend a meeting or law school event simply to eat the food.
[origin: Vietnamese. Meaning a strange, fashion-challenged law student who goes to everything event that has free food including, but not limited to, The Federalist Society and the ACLU meetings.]
Do: Encourage your student organization to find something other than pizza to serve at meetings.
Don’t: Attempt to quiet your neighbors in the carrels next door by means of some passive aggressive strategy. This includes; Screaming “SHHHHH” to no one, Stating loudly something about someone being “rude” or a “jerk”, sending emails to the SBA, and complaining to the administration. As much as his or her conversation might be bugging you, you are probably going to bug everyone else even more. Here’s a tip: Here at U of I we strive to become lawyers, people who function in our adversarial legal system. If you are so afraid of conflict that you can’t even speak to your classmate about possibly lowering his or her voice, perhaps you should consider another career. I understand there is a great program for high school guidance counselors across the street.

A Strange Primary Season Approaches

2007-09-05T09:27:00.000-07:00

by David Morse

I know who will be the next president of the United States. Also, I will buy some ocean front property in Moscow. It has a unicorn farm. Any political analyst who claims certain knowledge of the major party nominations for president is delusional, inattentive or lying. Oh certainly, we have our hopes, fears and probabilities. But this is one of the most altered and confusing political seasons in the history of the United States. Even excluding the wide open cast of both major-party races and the regular political intrigue, there is still the fact that the nominating process has turned upside-down.
First, quick polisci101… depending on the jurisdiction, each state party either selects its delegates using either a primary or a caucus. Caucuses are a gathering of party members in an informal town meeting with apportionments based on head counts for candidates. Primaries are simple ballot votes.
In politics, timing is everything. Traditionally, primaries and caucuses have been held in Iowa and New Hampshire first. Then after the 1st Tuesday of February, state parties hold their nominations along the next 6 months. Spread out nominations enables the vetting process of candidates and direct competition in early states, with early wins propelling candidates forward.
After 2004, the DNC decided to move Nevada’s and South Carolina’s nominations before February 5th, 2008 as well. The RNC chose to hold status quo.
However, now the state parties have gotten into a “Me-first” fight. According to the latest NASS calendar of 2008 primaries/caucuses, Wyoming republicans moved up their nomination to Jan. 5. Iowa is on Jan. 14. Nevada and S. Carolina Republicans are on Jan 19. Florida and S. Carolina Democrats are on Jan. 29. New Hampshire is marked TBD and Michigan and Ohio are poised to move their primaries before Feb. 5th as well.
Not to mention all the big states that moved their date up to February 5th itself.
This leap-frog process has forced Mama DNC to pull out the belt on Florida. Florida democrats chose to follow the lead of the Florida legislature and consider the vote on Jan. 29 to be determinative, instead of hold a separate caucus a week later. The DNC is withholding all Florida’s delegates to the democratic nominating convention as an example to other states planning to leapfrog ahead. If Florida democrats don’t back down, front-runner Hillary Clinton will take the hardest hit, as her popularity in the state would assure her the largest portion of delegates. Meanwhile, Papa RNC took a few state parties behind the woodshed as well. Florida, New Hampshire, Wyoming, Michigan and South Carolina will all lose half their delegates at the republican nominating convention unless they fall in line as well. This will affect any republican candidates who have put their emphasis on those states as well.
The question remains will these groundings get the states in line, or will the house of cards fall. At this point, it is anybody’s guess.
But, just as a side note, Kansas has opted not to hold a presidential primary election for 2008.

What is Inter Alia

2007-08-27T14:41:00.002-07:00

Among other things, (get it) Inter Alia is a news and humor magazine printed and published to the web twice a month by a SBA organization that goes by the same name.
The whole purpose of I.A. is to provide you a break, a laugh and a little bit of information during your three years of law school (AKA purgatory). I.A. is also a forum for members of the law school community to rant or rave about law-related stuff.
I.A. is entirely funded and run by students. Students contribute content. Students edit the content. Students design the publication. And students complain about it.
If you didn’t get it, that whole last paragraph was about how students are needed to make I.A. possible. That means we need you!
Contributions work like this: you, as a student, write something that fits within the very laxs rules. Then, you e-mail the thing you wrote (we call them stories) to uiinteralia@gmail.com. That’s it. Simple huh?
You can find those rules, as well as recent issues of I.A. at www.uiinteralia.blogspot.com.
Also, new this year, students may advertise their student organization for $2 a column inch.
So get involved, start contributing, and fill I.A. with all that crazy stuff you’ve been storing up .
Any questions, contact Josh Studor (3L) or Eric Haley (2L) at uiinteralia@gmail.com.

So you've got a job at a big firm

2007-08-27T14:41:00.001-07:00

by Michael Witry

I’m delighted to have the opportunity to say a few words to you kids down at Idaho, not least because I had always thought that Idaho was a hoax perpetuated by Rand McNally to sell atlases, and I was pleased to discover that apparently there really is an Idaho. Anyway, it was five years ago when I graduated from a law school so exclusive that its name is never spoken aloud and you must have your soul examined by the god Anubis to gain entry. I was one of the lucky ones, who used my contacts, my background and my ferocious networking skills to get a position here at Jay, Kaye, and Ellomenopee, which has been rated as the eighth best firm in America ten years running by the editors of Law Firm Vanity Press Magazine.
I understand that many of you, despite your inferiority to me, will soon be working at Big Firms, and I’ve compiled a short list of techniques to help you get to the top.
• Always make the senior partners feel appreciated. When I was younger, I tended to approach them with a smile and a handshake, but I’ve since moved on. Now, when a senior partner approaches, I stand at attention and blow on an antique bos’n’s whistle, then announce “Senior partner approaching!”
• Consider shaving your head. Daily shaves are much faster than hair maintenance, especially if you’re a woman, and the time saved there could be spent on something billable.
• Your office should contain some personal touches to impress your clients. If you have no personality, try paying a visit to the local elementary school. The garbage cans usually contain some ill-conceived artwork that you can display on your desk and imply belong to your children.
• Most big firms are located in big cities with many cultural opportunities. Unfortunately, those cultural opportunities take a lot of time and aren’t billable. Save some time by hanging around the exits and asking people to describe what they just saw.
• If you’re interested in marriage, I would recommend against ordering a Russian mail-order spouse. They’re pricey, the INS doesn’t like them, and other people will suspect you are unable to attract a spouse. Consider a North Korean spouse instead. They’re cheaper and are virtually indistinguishable from “legitimate” South Koreans.
• Everyone knows that lawyers can get in trouble for using drugs, but how can you keep up with the competition without a little boost? I don’t see anything in the Model Rules of Professional Conduct about energy drinks or herbal supplements. I like to get a mixture of seven or eight supplements in a candy dish and grab a fistful when I’m feeling tired.
• Sometimes judges and your opponents will imply that your work product isn’t up to snuff, merely because you were assigned to the project three hours before it was due. They just don’t understand big firm life. Defend your reputation by giving them copies of your firm’s recruiting guide. That’ll show them what a great lawyer you are.
• Make sure the music in your office isn’t too calm, lest it cause you to fall asleep. Sleep is for the weak. You don’t need it. I used to play Slavic folk dances over the speakers to keep me from dozing off, but I’ve since discovered a local band called The Sudden Loud Noise Experience.
• Paralegals and office help are the stairs on the ladder to success. Feel free to walk all over them.
• The occasional schizophrenic episode is normal. Seeking professional help would just reduce your billable hours, and how would you make partner then? Besides, I’ve found that the aliens from the planet Grebnulak are a great help in motion practice.
• You may notice that some of your old law school buddies aren’t in big firms and may appear to be happy. Ha! We’ll see who’s happy when you make partner, buy their bank, and foreclose on everything they own.

That’s just long enough to count as a publication on my resume, so I’ll cut off here with one last word for the wise: when the nukes start flying, big firm people will all get spots in the bunkers and the rest of you won’t.

Questseans

2007-08-27T14:40:00.001-07:00

by Ty Bair

In which His Royal Highness Sean Beck, King of Mediasean and Arbitrasean, resolves other people’s disputes.
Dear Sean: How did you become King of Mediasean and Arbitrasean? -Confused in Menard
Dear Confused: Brutal war of succesean, then coronasean.
Dear Sean: I’m really big and pretty, but I’d like to be bigger and prettier. I work really hard in the gym, but I never seem to accomplish anything. You’re pretty ripped. Any advice? -Wants Enormous Legs in Latah.
Dear WELL: Regimentasean of weight repetiseans, in conjunctsean with hydrasean, protein ingestsean, and steroid injectsean.
Dear Sean: I’m confused about global warming. I’ve even heard it might be caused by your irrational hatred of almost everything. Shed some light on this for me. -Skeptical in Moscow.
Dear Skeptical: Total fabricasean! Warming caused by pollusean: internal combustsean, fuel evaporasean, factory emiseans.
Dean Sean: My friend left a frisbee golf game last semester to talk to some stupid client. And somehow I’m the one everyone hates! Should I be mad at him? -Almost Crying on the Ninth Hole.
Dear A.C.: We all make regrettable deciseans. My recommendasean is for benedictsean.
Dear Sean: This whole column is just a total ripoff of that old Adam Sandler Cajun Guy sketch! -Just Out of Sympathy for Hack writers.
Dear JOSH: So what’s your questsean? Anyway, isn’t most sincere form of flattery . . . imitasean?

The Thrill of the (Ambulance) Chase

2007-08-27T14:39:00.000-07:00

by Aaron Crary

It’s no secret that for the summer after my second year of law school I went to work for my father and his two partners at their law firm in Spokane. The interview process was tough, but with some good contacts and an exceedingly competitive resume prepared, they realized that I would be the best fit.
Naturally the men and their staff received me with suspicious warmth, but I was eager to learn and the awkward familiarity lasted only a relatively short time. I bounced around from projects early on, whether it was sorting through medical records, researching dog bites or helping the wrongfully accused keep their drivers’ licenses my intent was to waste no time in proving I was a worthy member of the team.
And things went well to start. I got along with all the staff. The lawyers had a lot of projects to keep me busy. I was progressing at a good pace. I found my first two years of law school at U of I had helped prepare me well for the real world practice of law.
But my true test for early lawyerhood came about a month and a half into the summer when I was called to learn a bit about the world of personal injury law. My dad is a personal injury lawyer. Naturally he is very familiar with all the “ambulance chaser” comments and the “one call that’s all” jokes, but he has learned to compose himself very well in this specialized area of practice. One day he approached me as I sat in my little intern cubicle and invited me to come along on some personal injury lawyerly business.
The day was mostly uneventful: a deposition, BS-ing with some other lawyers my dad’s age, and then a little father/son lawyer lunch. “Son I am real proud of you,” he interjected after a few solemn moments of silence while we sat at a Mexican restaurant for lunch. “You’ve been doing a great job here. I just want you to know I am real proud of you.” I nodded.
He continued. “You know son. I think I am going to take you up to Gonzaga to show you some things. You’ve been around long enough; I think you’re ready.”
“OK,” I responded, somewhat at a loss for words because I was not sure really what he had in mind. We finished lunch, hoped into the car and headed towards the local law school my dad and all his partners graduated from.
Upon arriving my 53 year old, gray haired father first took me on a car tour of the campus. I had been there before, but it was nice to see the school after so many years. The next stop was to the law school itself. Though it spent many years in tier 4, the school was very new and very nice inside. It made my wonder how the school had done so poorly in the past.
After spending a good hour inside the halls, my dad took me to our last location. I was somewhat confused and waited a good couple of minutes for my silent father to explain to me why we were at the university’s running track. He kept silent as if in waiting longer it would all make sense to me.
Nevertheless he finally did speak. But it was not a conversation that preceded, it was something like a declaration. “Aaron,” his voice rung. “As you know, there are people everyday who find themselves struggling with the faults and negligences of their closest brethren.”
“You also know that I practice personal injury law. And I do this because it is my goal to make right those who have suffered the wrongs of others in the only way I can. Justice, Aaron. Justice provides payment to those for the injuries others have caused them.”
“So son, that is why I bring you here today. Yes, you are here at the running track. I bring you here for a reason, one that you will understand as you grow and mature in your own practice of law. I can’t teach you the full understanding behind this, but what I can teach you now is that you must at all times keep your wits about you. Always be prepared Aaron; always be ready. Do you understand? Aaron, Do you understand?” He kept chanting. I nodded.
“Aaron do you understand!” he screamed. I yelled back, “Yes I understand!” I didn’t. He eyed me curiously. “If you understand Aaron then start running.”
“What” I asked.
“Run, Aaron run!” With no idea what I was doing I took off, sprinting along the outer rim of the track. I sprinted as hard as I could, no clue as to why, only intent on making my father happy. I ran many laps. I lost count how many times I ran around the track, but I do know I was getting close to passing out when my father finally pulled me over to the side. I was drooling and could hardly see straight.
“Good job Aaron. You worked hard. I knew you could do it.” I wasn’t sure what I had done or whether it was done well or not but I took my father’s word for it, whatever it meant.
My new suit was soaked full of sweat, but my father ignored this and embraced me, somehow proud of what I had done. We walked back to the car and we said very little to each other, him occasionally patting me on the back. I had not been this connected to my father in some time, the only problem was is that I didn’t know why. All I could gather was for some reason my trip to the Gonzaga law school and me sprinting around the track was somehow special to him.
We were getting close to the car. I was so tired and sweaty I resolved to figure out the true meaning of all this at another time. “Well, thanks dad,” I whispered, half looking in his direction. He said nothing in response, focused on something entirely out of our control. “Listen Aaron,” he hummed. I stopped. What was it; what was my dad now talking about?
Moments later I heard the cry of a distant emergency vehicle. Normally this would have meant nothing to me, but now there seemed some special significance. I waited moments longer to make sure my ears weren’t playing tricks on me. No, true enough it was an ambulance.
I began to focus. It all seemed to make sense now; somehow I had an understanding of what I must do. I waited for a few moments. When I could see the vehicle I bolted. I started running after the vehicle harder than I had ever run before. Any thoughts of my earlier trials were forgotten as I focused all my energy on catching that ambulance.
I could see in the distance where the vehicle was turning and I cut, an obvious move to get a direct route to the car. Yes, I made a good move. It was at a red light, waiting to turn in the direction I was now heading. There was no question; it would come right for me. It was within my grasp, yes, it was amazing I would have it that easily on my first outing. Just one turn past a building and I would have it.
I came to the building and turned as quick as I could, not faltering a step. As I looked around the corner I could see it, now getting ready to move through the green light; I was almost on it.
I sprinted, but unfortunately I did not make it. In turning the corner I saw it all fall away as my face went straight into the pavement. Everything went black. Moments later I woke up and saw the street woman that I had tripped over staring at me. “You ok man?” Tears welling up in my eyes as I wiped the blood from my forehead all I could do was shake my head.
My father came on the scene minutes later asking me if I was alright. I continued shaking my head then looked up, “Father, I have failed you,” I whispered. He bent down and picked me up, placing my arm over his shoulders. “No you didn’t Aaron. You did fine. It takes a long time to be a good ambulance chaser.”
He helped me back to the car, wiping the tears and blood from my face as we went.

Quotable Quotes

2007-08-27T14:36:00.000-07:00

“‘French wine.’ - It even sounds British.”
“95% of statistics are made up on the spot.”
“Intelligent, articulate, not bad company - but seriously, tiny tiny dark little heart.”
“We all know that suspects tear their clothes off and run - this is the American way.”
“Would you feel differently if you
were a Japanese-American?”
“I am a Japanese-Ameri- can.”
“You should raise your hand and yell ‘Bingo’.”
“Heroic efforts not to poop”
“I’m just here for the cookies.”
“With the chainsaw - what happened?”
“It cut him.”
“So, Cinco de Mayo is on May 5th.”
“All those who know the law of Evidence raise your hands. Get those hands down!”
“Which presidential candidate right now is raising the most money?”
“She’s a man.”
“You’re now the equivalent of a 24 year-old woman.”
-said to 27 year-old male, regarding gender maturity
“That’s the only thing I’m gonna know, but I’m gonna know the shit out of it.”

'07 Most Likely To...

2007-04-30T11:58:00.000-07:00

So, the 3Ls made their own list. Here [corrected from the print version] are the results as announced at the Barrister’s Ball. The mostly likely to...

• Marry a client is Lewis Stoddard.
• Marry their secretary is Lewis Stoddard and Seth Gordon.
• Become a professor is Seth Gordon.
• Become a politician is Brian Wonderlich.
• Be a criminal defense lawyer is Chris Christensen
(close runners up Megan Yeates, Tom Lyden)
• Be a civil rights lawyer is Solmaz Rafiee-Tari.
• Be a prosecutor is Dave Whipple and Nikki Owens.
• Become the next Johnnie Cochran is Dean Bennett.
• Become an advocate for exotic flowers in the Amazon is Amber Ellis (close runners up, Ray Thompson, Brad Willis, and Abbi Baron).
• Open a bar after law school is Jim Bielenberg (close runner up LemMackedon).
• Be the most fashionable in court is Jordan Leroy (close runner up Stephanie Sterling).
• Wear a polyester suit to court is Brad Willis.
• Be the next Judge Judy is Katie Garcia (close runners up Pele Peacock and Keisha Oxendine).
• Be on the Idaho Supreme Court is Brian Wonderlich.
• Use law books as coffee table books is Zach Thompson (close runner up Phu Chau).
• Use “I am a lawyer” as a pickup line is Lance Fuisting.
• Take their dog to court is Jacque Groff.
• Become the next Nancy Grace is Katie Garcia.
• Sue Wal-Mart is Maban Smith.
• Defend Wal-Mart is Andy Jolly.
• To marry and open a practice are Rob Berry and Sara Bearce, and Megan Mooney and Brian Wonderlich.

News Briefs

2007-04-30T11:57:00.000-07:00

Grades, standings available in June
As finals approach, the specter of grades can’t be far behind. In an e-mail sent last week, the law school’s pseudo-registrar Sande Schlueter said students can expect to see their grades via the university’s online Banner service by June 2. When they are completely uploaded, she will send an e-mail notification to that effect. Sande asks that students not e-mail her asking when grades will be posted.
Standings are processed after grades are turned in and posted and should be available shortly after June 11. Once processed, the standings are final and are not calculated again until after fall semester.

Summer remodel will focus on technology upgrades
Over the summer, the law school will begin extensive renovations of the Courtroom and Room 104 that will leave them upgraded but unusable for part of the Fall semester. Construction in 104 will likely be completed by the end of September and the Courtroom should be finished by the end of the semester.
Work in both rooms will focus on technology upgrades and acoustic improvements. The rooms will also be made compliant with changes in the building code and Americans with Disabilities Act.
“The courtroom is going to have technology installed in it that will enable our students to be trained to practice in the most modern courtrooms in the country,” Dean Rich Seamon said.
Other summer projects will replace the current carrels in the second floor with new ones similar to those in the basement and replace the furnishings in the student lounge. The lounge may get new carpet and paint but those projects have not been confirmed. Dean Seamon confirmed that the only game table that will remain in the lounge is the ping-pong table.

Some Fall classes to be held across the street
Due to construction projects in room 104, large-enrollment classes will not be held in the law school until October. Instead, classes that do not fit in either of the smaller rooms will be held somewhere in the general campus. The law school has not confirmed a replacement location yet but Dean Seamon said that the school would likely hold classes in the Borah Theater in the Student Union Building.

FUISTOS

2007-04-30T11:56:00.000-07:00

by Ty Bair

In honor of the graduation of the perennially hard-working LANCE FUISTING, Inter Alia presents
FUISTOS ...

... to Professor LAURIE O’NEAL for hosting a small party at her house in support of the BSA. The party was utterly without incident. No shower doors were broken, no faces were scarred, and no Subarus were barfed within.
... to 1L student MEGAN BARTLEY, who took down third place in the 9th Annual Palouse Invitational Wet T-shirt Contest at the Hyde-Out Tavern in Colfax, Wash. on March 2, besting 2L student TED REINBOLD.
... to 2L student “Anonymous” THOMAS RODGERS, whose first act as SBA Sergeant-at-Arms was to ban full golf swings in the basement. The new policy will still allow chips, flops, putts, pitches, punches and “other utility shots.”
... to 2L student WILLIAM KENDALL FLETCHER on finally resetting the clock. He just now realized it was daylight savings time.
... to 5L student BRIAN BUCKHAM, whose knowledge of Criminal Law will soon be tested for the 400-500th times.

2007-04-30T11:52:00.000-07:00

We dress, you decide

2007-04-30T11:51:00.000-07:00

by Travis Woodland and SODA

You know, sometimes it’s easy to say you like homos, and sometimes it’s not. I don’t mean “like” like – that’s always hard. Ask a homo. They’ll tell you.
The Sexual Orientation Diversity Alliance (SODA) recently asked its fellow law students to show a little support for their gay brethren by wearing denim on April 18. “Why denim?” you may have asked yourself. The simple answer is this: to trick you. No, really. If you wore jeans, you like gays (and lesbians, bisexuals, and transgendereds).
Obviously the last sentence was a lie. Denim does not make anyone a liker of anything but denim. The real purpose behind the “Day of Silence” (jeans day) was to get people to think. That might seem an anachronism in a law school, but it really isn’t. How many times since your first day in this building have you thought about how your actions and words affect other people, and not just those that SODA tries to represent? I certainly don’t very often.
It’s a small world here at UI-Law, and nobody wants to be left out. We all make assumptions about our fellow students: Mormons, Catholics, atheists, African Americans, Asians, gays, ex-military, men, women, drinkers, druggies, sobers, parents, bachelors(and ettes), socialites, quiet people – all of them. I’ll let you in on a poorly kept secret: Few of those assumptions are true.
Asking people to wear denim might seem like a strange segue into the whole “when you assume you make an ass out of you and me” argument, but it really isn’t. The clothes someone wears can lead to just as many assumptions about a person as any other aspect of their life. Jeans represent comfort, the fashion equivalent of feeling like you belong and aren’t going to be singled out based on someone’s assumptions about you. How comfortable would you be in your favorite pair of denim if it became the new ‘gay thing’ to wear? Besides, we couldn’t have asked you to dress up in suits; many students won’t even do that for the Idaho Supreme Court.
Nearly everyone in the law school donned their Silvertabs, Tuffskins, and Gap relaxed fits, with a few notable exceptions. To those who wrote their feelings about gay rights, even those whose feelings don’t embrace the ideals of SODA: thank you. The point of having discussions about human rights, gay or otherwise, isn’t to force a viewpoint on someone; it is to ask people to think about why they feel how they do. Much like faith, an opinion is only worth something if can withstand test and attack.
Unfortunately, some of our students chose not to wear denim. I don’t mean that they forgot and wore dress pants because they always do. Some people (you know who you are – and so do we), always wear jeans; just not on a day when wearing jeans might make people think they supported the homos. However, their fears were unfounded: there is no way any of us would have thought you supported gay rights. But, thanks for the brutal honesty.
Don’t worry, the gays don’t hate you. In fact, you may find yourself getting a little more gay attention in your life than you want because you just became one of SODA’s top priorities. This is one closet you can’t go back into.
By the way, if anyone wants to have a day to celebrate the rights of heterosexuals, SODA will be on board. Just let us know what to wear. I suggest a nice pair of tight wranglers.

Dear RJ

2007-04-30T11:49:00.000-07:00

by RJ Linnan

Confidential to DVT
Blue Grapefruit. BLUE GRAPEFRUIT! DEAR, GOD, BLUEGRAPEFRUITBLUEGRAPEFRUIT!!!

• • •

Dear RJ,
I thought that the designation of classes as 2L or 3L was merely a warning that a designated 2L course could conflict with a required or bar related 3L course, and not that a designated course would be reserved for one class or the other. Can you explain this?
Student who Can’t Really Enter What Ever Division

Dear SCREWED,
Clearly you fail to understand the fact that students in law school shouldn’t get to choose which teacher they take a given class from. Just because the previous policy was to simply be a planning factor for when classes would be offered doesn’t mean that the administration shouldn’t change the policy and give priority to 2L’s. Never mind that 3Ls might actually need the class for when they graduate. Even though every registration process in higher education across the country is generally first-come, first-serve, doesn’t mean that our school should do it that way. Just take bankruptcy instead of tax. They’re basically the same thing.

• • •

Dear RJ,
I am confused by the many different statements that I am asked to make here at law school. I thought that jeans were for rape awareness, red ribbons were for heart health awareness, pink ribbons were for breast awareness, and yellow ribbons meant that I thought Lance Armstrong was hot. A little clarity?
Dumbfounded About Denim

Dear DAD
You have it all wrong. The more important consideration is whether you comply with every request to paint, wear, or pin for whatever the cause du’jour is that day. So, basically, even if there is no rational relationship between a “message” like yellow bracelets and Lance Armstrong’s testicles, or the fact that you were going to wear jeans to school anyway, you still must comply with the request for solidarity or be labeled an asshole.

• • •

Dear RJ
I have a problem with one of my professors. I have never raised my hand in his class, because he would just cut me off anyway. He is always preaching his crazy politics in class and insulting my point of view instead of actually teaching anything and I don’t know what to do?
Really Annoyed at Teacher

Dear RAT
You are absolutely right to not raise your hand and voice your opinions and arguments in class. Why bother when the professor won’t listen anyway? It would probably just offend the professor if you spoke too, and that puts your grade at risk since all professors can access your exam number. What you should do instead of confronting the professor is rush straight to the dean’s office and complain as loudly as possible about your voice being silenced and your opinion going unheard.
When you’re a lawyer, RAT, you won’t have to confront opposing counsel, or a judge who disagrees with you, you’ll just be able to contact the State Bar and issue a complaint because of the disagreement. Ideally a representative from the Bar will come to your rescue by arriving at your next meeting a few minutes late and manage to interrupt your nemesis so you don’t have to do any speaking at all.

High school-like atmosphere made law school stranger

2007-04-30T11:48:00.000-07:00

by Ray Thompson

In the last issue of Inter Alia, the “Most Likely To…” reminded me of observations I’ve been making for awhile: That law school and high school have a lot more in common with each other than undergraduate education.
Here’s why:
• School pride dress-up days.
• Powder Puff football.
• Report cards/Standing cards.
• Assigned seating.
• School dances.
• On-site lockers (carrels).
• Drama, drama, drama.
• Yearbooks / Dogbooks.
• Limited class choices.
• Everyone takes themselves way too seriously.
• Mandatory class attendance.
• Talent shows.
Surprisingly for a profession which stresses confidentiality, the spread of gossip/rumors not only equals but exceeds gossip/rumor levels in junior high/high school, or any other setting I’ve ever experienced.
The entire curriculum is confined to one building, which gives rise to striking similarities in the respective social structures. For instance, when walking through the crowded halls, you are bound to run across many more people you know than you will have time to say hello to. Depending on the ever-shifting hierarchies of social alliances, you have several options for these encounters: 1. Engage in some quick small talk. 2. Say hello. 3. Smile and nod. 4. Just nod. 5. Avoid making eye-contact at just the right moment. 6. (Most commonly employed) Pretend the other person doesn’t exist. 7. Actively scowl at the other person.
In addition, my 1L year reminded me more of grade school than anything I’d experienced since. As in grade school, the class was divided into two sections which were given completely different instructors (although my grade school classes were all in the same room and my 1L classes were confined to two rooms).

Someone take my gel

2007-04-30T11:47:00.000-07:00

by Eric Haley

To put it in law school terms, I did not foresee that it would be this difficult to give away a canister of premium “fancy” hair manipulator.
Out of the kindness of my heart I have offered an unopened jar of Bed Head (retail $16.95 for a small amount only a true ass would buy) to seven different people and each time I finished my proposal I received a look that made me wonder if I was about to get maced. I don’t understand it; it’s not like I am some stranger in a trench coat offering to baby sit your kids. I am simply trying to brighten someone’s day with the gift of overpriced hair sculpting product. I fail to see what is so damn suspicious about it. My favorite response to my failed charity has been: “Why don’t you want it anymore?” That is a good question – for a person on LSD. Relax Cochese, those fire-breathing cobras you see on my head are just hallucinations and even if they were real, they are hair-less cobras. They don’t need Bed Head.
A sober person on the other hand would look at my bald-ass head and understand why I might not have an interest in hair manipulator anymore. Furthermore, if I grew my hair back out to a length that could be manipulated, I would probably look like Ron Howard and I am no man’s sidekick-buddy, especially not “The Fonz.” I think I will stick with the “Ty Bair” (the editor of the Law School’s other journal), which is 70 percent shaved close to the scalp, 30 percent out of my control.
For those that are still not convinced that this free Bed Head won’t kill them, let me further uncloak the mystery of why I have this canister. See, I was still living in denial at Christmas and couldn’t decide what to get with my $15 JC Penny’s Gift Certificate. All of the sudden, I caught a mirror by the in-store salon and it was like my 18 bangs were feathered about my forehead pleading, “Hey boss, we can’t hold down the fort without some hair manipulator; some really, really expensive hair manipulator.”
When I returned home, I proudly displayed “the answer to my prayers” so my sisters would give me an “Atta Boy” but instead they looked at me like I had just walked into a Jaguar dealership with a clip-on tie.
One of them asked me if I planned on rubbing the canister of hair product in the hope that a Genie would appear and grant me some hair for my bald spots After all, they reasoned, applying the contents to current hair style would be kind of like putting jet fuel in a weed eater – overkill.
So, yeah, I shaved my hair off and I would like to give something back, you know, do something good for mankind. So, mankind, I present to you, hair manipulator.
Someone please catch me at my carrel and take this reminder of painful memories off of my hands. If you still think something is fishy we can do this the right way, give me a peppercorn, I will give you the Bed Head and give you this warranty: When applied to the hair on your head, this product will not kill you, unless you are allergic to one of its many chemicals, then you may be up shit creek and I won’t be supplying a paddle.
I just want closure.

Top 10 reasons you might be a redneck lawyer

2007-04-30T11:46:00.000-07:00

by Daniel Malouf

Tired of trying to land that dream job with a prestigious downtown firm? Perhaps the fact that you chose UI Law over other schools indicates that you might well be cut out for something a little, shall we say, different? Consider if any of the following apply to your situation:
10. You are willing to accept bushel of potatoes and half a dozen chickens as retainer.
9. You are embarrassed to park rusty old truck next to fancy cars at Menard Law building.
8. Your suit jacket hangs from gun rack as you drive to interviews.
7. You wish real estate finance class dealt more with double-wides… an’ such.
6. You can hardly wait to show off that belt buckle in a courtroom someday!
5. Rather than scope out a big firm in a big city, you scope out office space near trailer park near [insert Deary, Weiser, Bonner’s Ferry, or former logging town of choice].
4. You’ve ever studied the big game proclamation during class.
3. You’ve ever considered leaving a note on a professor’s door, saying “Please don’t call on me in class today; I’m not prepared because I went steelhead fishing all weekend.”
2. You think chasing an ambulance with a tractor sounds like great fun.
1. You think that if you ever become a judge in your home county, it’ll be easy money- especially since you’ll hardly ever hear a case because you’ll constantly recues yourself on account of being related to one or both parties.

The Story of the Three Little Pigs as told by a smart-aleck legal drafting grad

2007-04-30T11:45:00.000-07:00

by Josh Studor

for laurie

Definitions:
For the purposes of this story, the following definitions shall be used:
• “Pig:” any of several mammals of the family Suidae which have short legs, cloven hooves, bristly hair and a cartilaginous snout used for digging.
• “Sparrow” means big bad wolf.
• “House” is deemed to mean a place of residence, dwelling, home, or abode.

The Story:
At a point in time prior to the time and date of the day this article is read, three (3) pigs of diminished stature set to depart their home and seek, search out, and look for wealth. Before leaving said home, the pig’s’ mother, that was very wise, said and spoke to the swine saying, “In whatever you do, do it in the best way that you can because that’s the way to get along in the world.”
The pigs each purchased plots of land for the construction and erection of they’re respective houses, that were made from various materials. (1) The first little pig, (Pig 1) caused his/her house to be constructed out of straw since said action did not cost much and was the most easiest thing to do. (2) The second pig (Pig 2) entered into and executed a contract with Contractor to cause his house to be built from sticks of wood. (3) The third pig, (Bob Smith) built his house out of red-bricks.
Commencing on or about a night following the Construction of Each of the Houses, a sparrow named Meany McMeanpants (“Defendant”), that really, greatly, and emphatically enjoyed eating pigs, came up to the Pig 1’s straw home, that was built from straw. Defendant shouted very loudly “little pig, little pig, let me in.”
Vaklempt, the juvenile sow said, “You, the party of the first part shall be unable to affect me, the party of the second part, by any margin herein defined as a ‘hair’ as it relates to the parties’s chinny, chin or chin.”
Defendant sparrow replied, “huh? I don’t understand a word that you just said. So, I’ll huff, and I’ll puff, and I’ll blow you’re house in.”
And the sparrow did blow in said house and consumed Pig 1.
The following night, which was after the night on which the first little pig’s house was blown in and the first little pig was eaten and digested by The Sparrow, Defendant came to the house built by Pig 2 and he discovered that the pig Resided in the house; which was built of sticks that were taken from a forest located less than one mile, from where the property Pig 2 purchased, in violation of several local ordinances; and he shouted out to the occupant(s) of said house, “little pig, little pig, let me in.”
The Pig 2 said, “you, the party of the first part shall be unable to affect me, the party of the second part, by any margin hereby defined as a ‘hair’ as it relates to the parties chinny, chin, or chin.”
Again, Meany was confused, and replied, “ OH HELL! I’ll just blow your damn house in.” While the stick house maybe stronger than the straw house it still fell quickly and immediately as Defendant huffed and puffed. Consequently, therefore, the sparrow was able to eat the little pig.
On or about approximately 8:27 PM, Eastern, Standard Time, on the night of 5th of Aug., 2006, which was the night following the two previous Nights, Meany arrived at the house built by the third(3rd) and final pig. The house had been constructed with bricks, and it received a certificate of occupancy by a certified inspector as required by Idaho Code 39-4108. It also further was compliant with all codes, requirements, and contract terms required by the homeowner’s association and it was free of all liens and encumbrances.
Defendant approached the wooden door, which had been painted red and had elaborate inlay, and knocked the brass door knocker. He said, “little pig, little pig, can I come in”?
Bob replied in a firm tone, “Are you nuts? You can not come in. I’m going to get my shotgun so I can protect myself from you. I shall also call the police who can show up here to protect me from you who may injure me or cause me to be injured through your actions, which may be violent in nature.”
Defendant was Puzzled and said nothing but attempted to blow the house in anyway. Because of the structural quality of the brick and thanks to the quality of the construction and oversight, the house did not not stay standing but instead did not blow in. Also, because the house had been caused to be fitted with high-speed- wireless-internet, a security-system, and Bob had a cell-phone, Bob calmly called the police.
Further, Defendant Meany, not knowing the police had been called, attempted and tried to enter the house threw the part of the house build specifically for the release of smoke, which is produced by a substance that produces heat and light. But, before the wolf could get “down” the chimney, the Idaho State Police showed up with a SWAT team and successfully captured and detained the sparrow. The sparrow never again got lose and was tried and convicted of hamicide, malicious destruction of property and attempted hamicide.
Once the story got out to the public, the Idahoans began protesting the reintroduction of sparrows into the “wild”. The public said the principlE(thics) reason why they was angry is that if the state had not reintroduced the sparrows, the little pigs would not have been eaten by the sparrow that did eat the pigs, which were eaten.
Hey prof., We tease ‘cause we can... or is it may?

More Random Barrister's Ball Pictures

2007-04-19T10:14:00.000-07:00

Barrister’s Ball was packed until the last song! See.

Sanja Prutina (1L) (left) and Megan Bartley (1L).

Ray Thompson (3L).

The Kingpin’s Hula Hoop competition! Congrats to Susanne for winning.

Brian (2L) and Megan Williams (Left) and Mark and Erin Coppin.

Sarah McDowell (2L) (Left) and Lindsey Simon (2L).

Estee Hart (1L) (Left) and Sanja Prutina (1L).

The Kingpins… surprisingly fun!

Joanna Rebich (2L) and Eric Haley (2L).

Eric Haley (1L) and Jessica Walker (1L).

Danielle Rowand (2L) and Katherine Spenner (2L).

Everybody’s dancing!

Christine Dow (2L).

Autumn Renshaw (2L) and Katherine Spenner (2L).

Kristi Wilson (2L) and Kat (2L).

Chris Christiansen (3L).

Amy Kingston (2L) and Josh Studor(2L).

Professor John Hasko and Associate Dean Elizabeth Brandt.

Phil Sanchez (2L) and Susanne Kaye (2L).

Josh Studor (2L) and Kat Spenner (2L).

Lisa Johnstone (3L).

Tracy Wright (2L), Kat Spenner (2L), and Travis Woodland (2L).

And the Awards Go To:

2007-04-15T15:10:00.001-07:00

(Judged by the completely partial Josh Studor)

For Best Dressed:

3L: Ms. Lisa Johnstone. A flapper dress WITH tassels? How daring. And oh how it worked.

2L: Ms. Katherine Spenner. A black cocktail dress with just enough detail to make it pop.

1L: Ms. Jessica Walker. Not only can she dress but damn if she can’t cut a rug.

Faculty/Staff: Mr. Dennis Colson. He’s retiring in style with a throwback tux. Looking sharp!

For Worst Dressed:

3L: Mr. Brian Wonderlich. Those tux tees were so last year!

2L: Mr. Aaron Crary. Hawai’ian shirts are fine but your pine needles are clashing with your beautiful lady there.

1L: A TIE! For Mr. Michael Sinks and Neil Burns. Felt Zoot Suits? What were they thinking?

Coolest Faculty/Staff Member

A TIE! Professors John Hasko and Laurie “Joey” O’Neal. Both closed the party down at midnight. Plus Hasko probably danced with every lady in the room. Nice Job! Professor Ben Beard was a close runner up too.

And Last But Not Least: The Cutest Couple (and “couple”) Awards… How cute :-)

Here we have John Jameson (3L) and Regan Boyd (2L).

And the beautiful Kendra Dean (3L) and her date Brian (non-L).

Retiring Professor Craig Lewis and his lovely wife.

Skylar Christensen (1L) and Jessica Pollack (non-L).

Mark (2L) and Erin Coppin.

2Ls Danielle “Canada” Rowand and Ty Bair.

Brian (2L) and Megan Williams.

Trent Belnap (2L) and his dashing date.

Lisa Johnstone (3L) and Dan Scheckler (4L).

Travis Woodland (2L) and Anne Buike.

Josh Studor (2L) and Lindsey Simon (2L). Didn’t come together but didn’t leave alone… ok, yeah, Josh left alone.

Sure, this isn’t a couple but Sanja Prutina (1L) and Joanna Rebich (1L) look good huh? Who’s that guy stuck in between them?

Got better photos? Send them to uiinteralia@gmail.com.

Who is Most Likely To...

2007-04-09T13:58:00.000-07:00

In the tradition of high schools everywhere, the Inter Alia is asking the 3Ls: Who do you think is most likely to be the first classmate…

• to successfully argue a case before the U.S. Supreme
Court?
• to run into the back of an ambulance he or she is chasing?
• to win a multi-million dollar settlement?
• to become a television judge?
• to be told by a judge that he or she needs to buy a new suit?
• to appear on Court TV defending a murdering movie star in Sun Valley?
• elected to public office?
• to take on big potato?
• to become the dean of a law school?
• to have a treatise named after him or her?
• to set a filibuster record?
• to move back in with their parents?
• to write a John Grisham style novel?
• to give up and become a law professor?
• To get a Professional Rule violation for 1.8(j)?

Vote for your choices by e-mailing uiinteralia@gmail.com or posting a comment at the end of this story by April 25!

Check the next issue for results.

Former Irish President visits, isn’t made to feel awkward enough

2007-04-09T13:57:00.000-07:00

by Josh Studor

The first female president of The Republic of Ireland gave the keynote address at the University of Idaho’s 59th Borah Symposium April 2 but before she did, she spoke briefly at the College of Law. The Hon. Mary Robinson joined Professional Responsibility to discuss her experiences as a lawyer, stateswoman, and world human rights leader and then stopped to answer two questions. The first question started out harmless enough. Mikela French, 2L, asked something about including human rights requirements in international economic agreements. It was the second question that left the crowd – and Pres. Robinson – scratching their collective heads. A 3L student then asked something about a new law that Great Britain supposedly passed that would keep history teachers from teaching kids about the Holocaust because it offends Muslims. Pres. Robinson stumbled for a moment – visibly shocked – but recovered to answer the question in the most diplomatic way she could. She said she hadn’t heard anything about that (probably because she doesn’t read the Drudge Report) and that she didn’t think the story was accurate. She reiterated that the British have a great solemn remembrance of the Holocaust and, because of that, she thought the 3L had his facts wrong. Needless to say, it was uncomfortable for everyone involved. However, no one was more visibly mortified than Professor Monica Schurtman, who stood up and practically pleaded the audience for a decent question. Thankfully, R.J. Linnan, 2L, took the bait and saved the day with a softball question about peace agreements. Pres. Robinson, who looked relieved, took the question, ran with it, and ended with the audience laughing because “Dr. Paisley said ‘yes.’” While many students felt inspired, the whole experience left some students thinking to themselves, “What could Mr. 3L have asked that would have been less awkward?” Well, here are some answers to that question: • Can I take you out for a “Black and Tan” after your presentation? And as a follow-up, can we get in a fight later? • Was it a good idea to allow Prince Harry to serve in the military? • Why are you always after me Lucky Charms? • Why can’t you Irish just accept British rule? • How come you aren’t wearing a kilt? • Is there anything ironic about you being in a state famous for potatoes? • Where is your pot o’ gold? • Are you and Colin Farrell friends? • Do you have family in Boston? • How did you become one of the most prosperous nations in the EU by selling goats? • What do you think of “The Black Donnellys?” I supposed the question could have been worse. Maybe we should try again. Next time we should bring King Abdullah of Saudia Arabia to the law school and someone can ask him why he can’t keep his terr-er-est friends from blowing themselves up.

News Briefs

2007-04-09T13:56:00.000-07:00

Barrister’s Ball Saturday
The Student Bar Association’s social committee will play host to the annual Barrister’s Ball this Saturday beginning at 7 p.m. at the 1912 building. The evening begins with a roast for retiring professors Colson and Lewis. A performance by the Kingpins will follow. Food and drinks are provided.
Tickets are available all week in the main hallway. Cost: $12 drinking, $7 non-drinking.

Carrel lottery next week
A carrel lottery will be held Friday so students can select their carrels for next year. Sign up sheets are available in the basket on the library door and must be completed and submitted in the envelope outside the SBA Office by 5 p.m. on Friday. Students may sign up individually or in groups of no more than four.
Once the lottery is completed, students will need to attend the selection meeting for their class. 2Ls will meet at 4 p.m. on April 18 in room 103 and 1Ls will meet at 3:30 p.m. on April 19 in room 104. Students will pick their carrels based on their draft order.
Any questions should be sent to either Jodi Felton at felt5217@uidaho.edu or Thomas Rogers at rodg4115@uidaho.edu.

Kudos...

2007-04-09T13:55:00.002-07:00

by Ty Bair

... to Professor DALE “PAPPY” GOBLE, who struck gold while panning a local creek. A nationally renowned expert in biodiversity law and amateur prospector, Professor Goble exclaimed, “YEEEE HOWDY! IT’S THE MOTHER LODE!” and then performed an exuberant dance while banging together two cast-iron pans
.... to 1L student BRANDON SMITH, for consistently leveling up while playing “World of Warcraft” in Contracts.
... to 2L student TEDDY REINBOLD, who took down fourth place in the 9th Annual Palouse Invitational Wet T-Shirt Contest at the Hyde-Out Tavern in Colfax, Wash. on March.
... to 2L student JOSHUA P.
MCCARTHY, whose band, Weezer, has announced plans for a finals concert at the College of Law. Joshua looks just like Buddy Holly—oh oh—and you’re Mary Tyler Moore.

Police Blotter

2007-04-09T13:55:00.001-07:00

“compiled” by Michael Witry

7:21 a.m. - Little black spot observed on sun. No change since yesterday.
8:14 a.m. - Commuters found words of the prophets written on subway walls. Graffiti artists responsible remain at large.
8:46 a.m. - Miss Lottie Lenya found dead of knife wounds down by the river.
9:08 a.m. - Called to intervene in a dispute between neighbors along Hedgerow St. Issued citation to the May Queen for unlawful disposal of bustles.
9:41 a.m. - Arrested a suspect in connection with a slaying along the Mexican border. Suspect offered to plead guilty in exchange for water.
11:22 a.m. - Caller reported a suspicious line of cars, all painted black. Cars turned out to be part of a funeral procession. Complaint dismissed.
11:53 a.m. - Search party for 29 lost sailors called off due to gales of November coming early.
12:19 p.m. - Unattended yellow basket seized at airport.
1:18 p.m. - Investigated trampoline-related disturbance downtown. Advised Mr. Kite and Mr. Henderson that their performance would require a permit from City Hall.
1:38 p.m. - Frog bearing sword and unlicensed firearm stopped near residence of Miss Mousie.
2:44 p.m. - Squatter reported theft of jumbuck. Upon being stopped for questioning, suspect drowned self in billabong. Revival was unsuccessful.
3:38 p.m. - Driver of hot rod Lincoln cited for speeding and reckless driving.
4:18 p.m. - Parents of Little Susie called to report missing daughter. Investigation revealed that Susie and her date fell asleep at the movie theater.
4:46 p.m. - Owner of brand new house by railroad side, made out of rattlesnake hide, cited for violations of building code and zoning regulations.
5:31 p.m. - Advised owner of a broken-down Woody along the surf route to contact a mechanic, rather than attempt to hitchhike in his wetsuit.
7:29 p.m. - Called to disturbance along watchtower, where barefoot servants were denied entrance due to health code. Servants were escorted away.
8:48 p.m. - Investigated reports of dancers who had left their friends behind. Advised dancers to keep everything under control.
9:11 p.m. - Children complained of glass cuts on feet from broken bottles. Several bodies discovered on nearby street.
10:55 p.m. - Confused and intoxicated man found in residential area, complaining that this was not his beautiful house. Cited for public intoxication.
11:06 p.m. - Broke up fight on big dance floor involving man with hair piled high and real square cat with out-of-date wardrobe.
11:31 p.m. - Complaints of excessive noise traced to lonely goatherd, who was cited for keeping a disorderly house.

Panties! Glorious Panties!

2007-04-09T13:53:00.000-07:00

by Eric Haley

OK, OK, OK. Everyone relax. Breathe deeply, ABC News Crew. Can I get you another water or perhaps another round of bagel bites? I have obviously been caught with my “hand in the cookie jar,” you win, here are the 93 pounds of panties. TA DA!
Wow, the weather sure has warmed up here on the Palouse! Do you think it’s going to be a dry Summer? Oh... yeah, I suppose we could talk a little more about the 93 pounds of female underwear I have (or should I say “had”) in my possession.
There are a lot of things a person could say when caught with 93 pounds of underwear. When I owned just 92 pounds of female underwear, I can’t tell you how many times I practiced for this moment in front of the mirror,
“Woah! Officer, how did that get there? Is that 92 pounds of panties sitting in the middle of my TV viewing room? My God, my children play there.” You can explain 92 pounds.
But, when the cops bust in to your home it doesn’t matter how many times you have practiced your lines, 93 pounds of panties speaks for itself.
Ninety-three pounds of panties, in one location, says things like, “You know we did not get here by accident” and “Is it really going to take a sixth duffel bag full of panties to convince you that this is the panty thief? C’mon, arrest him immediately!”
Fair enough, I won’t even offer my explanation on why it is not only normal that I own 93 pounds of panties, it is a necessity. When the evil Murdoch blew a hole in the cabin of MacGyver’s airplane, the passengers thought Mac was crazy when from his pocket he produced, a condom, a can of Skoal, and a tube of Ben Gay salve. But five minutes later, when these products had patched the hole, no one dared to ask why a person would happen to be carrying these things on their person.
Hmmmm... I can see you did not buy that at all. I suppose I understand – until you have seen someone sling a heavy stone from a pair of panties or dress a sucking chest wound with them, you probably can’t fathom why I have these five duffel bags bursting at the seams with panties. Between you and me, I know of no better way to keep a Komodo dragon at bay then a smooth river rock and a panty sling. If you have never been in a situation like that, Officer, these 1,500 pairs of panties probably make me look like some pervert, huh?
What? Oh that room back there? That is the guest bedroom and you are correct, that “BAAAAAAH” was the sound of a sheep. You are telling me that you would still use store-bought wool if you had a vacant bedroom that could be used as a stable? And if you think that the sheep is connected to the 93 pounds of panties in anyway aside from the pair it is wearing now, I am going to have to ask you to please get your mind out of the gutter! So how about those Mariners, do you think they finally got some decent pitching this year?

Confessions of a global warming denier

2007-04-09T13:52:00.000-07:00

by Brandon Law

Yesterday when I heard on the local country radio station that Tim McGraw and Faith Hill were slated to participate in Al Gore’s Live Earth concert series this summer to enhance awareness about the theory of global warming, I began to realize just how mainstream the belief in the theory has become. Not only has it become mainstream given the fact that it is supported by all the front-runners of both parties for the next Presidential election cycle, but the hype has reached absurd levels as evidenced by one news Web site that ran a headline entitled, “Global warming concerns are keeping children awake at night.” Now, I’m just as environmentally friendly as the next guy, but I have my doubts about the theory of global warming. I ride my bike or walk to class every day, eat a relatively vegan organic diet, recycle my consumer waste, etc., but still find the self-proclaimed inventor-of-the-internet’s latest product more politically expedient than scientifically sound. Not only is the theory still relatively new on the scientific landscape, but I still find it contradictory to conventional—dare I say—scientific wisdom of just 30 years ago as I recently discovered by a trip to our campus library. I was prompted to further investigation by Dennis Miller’s display of a story during a recent appearance on Jay Leno’s “Tonight Show,” from the April 28, 1975 issue of Newsweek magazine entitled, “Cooling World.” I was curious to see whether the story that predicted an impending ice age was just an anomaly or a widely supported theory among the contemporary scientific community. In the 1970s the prevailing view amongst the scientific community was that a global ice age was imminent. The National Academy of Sciences in 1975 issued a report stating that there was, “a finite possibility that a serious worldwide cooling could befall the earth within the next 100 years.” I found three books in our campus library, that I believe represent a fair cross-section of the scientific thought regarding climate change in the 1970s: The Cooling (1976), Ice or Fire (1978), and Forecasts, Famines, and Freezes (1976). The authors made many statements in these books predicting an impending ice age evidenced mainly by a sustained trend of declining temperatures and a growth or extension of the polar ice caps. Two ideas bandied about in the books to remedy the growth of the ice caps and impending worldwide death and destruction by ice were to spread black carbon on the ice in order to attract the sun’s rays to heat and melt it, and to dam the Bering Strait in order to prevent the mixing of warm and cool ocean water. Contrary to news commentators eager to spin the “heat waves” of last summer as new evidence proving the theory of global warming, the contemporary scientific community is not united on views regarding the theory of global warming. Nigel Calder, in an article in the UK edition of The Sunday Times Online, scoffed at the recent findings of the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) and pointed out that the Earth’s temperature hasn’t changed since 1999 and asserted that solar activity, rather than greenhouse gases has been responsible for fluctuations in global temperatures in the past and is most likely responsible for the current mild temperature changes. He alluded to the findings of Ohio State University’s Dr. David Bromwich by also pointing out that, “[w]hile sea-ice has diminished in the Arctic since 1978, it has grown by 8 percent in the Southern Ocean.” In a recent article published in the San Francisco Chronicle, Patrick J. Michaels poked fun at Al Gore’s “Greenland suddenly melts” doomsday scenario and emphasized that Al Gore’s projection of sea level rising by 12 feet is at odds with the IPCC’s estimates of a rise of about 17 inches. After Hurricane Katrina, which was supposedly caused by global warming, I recall “experts” on the news predicting that the next hurricane season would make Hurricane Katrina pale in comparison, due to severity. However, the next hurricane season (last year) was more of a whimper than a bang. Though Boston Globe columnist Ellen Goodman recently equated deniers of the theory of global warming with Holocaust deniers, I’ll take my chances. Hi, my name is Brandon Law, and I’m a global warming denier.

UI contracts professor earns fame in EBAY community

2007-04-09T13:51:00.001-07:00

by Mellisa Wood

Eager 1L Ben Smith, moved forward with his plans to cash in on his personal collection of snapshots of Professor Colson’s chalkboard drawings by offering them to the highest bidder on EBAY. The three-day auction for the collection of drawings was a hit with more than 120,000 art investors bidding for the chance to own the collection of abstract interpretation of contract law.
Bids poured in until the last second and, when the war was over, the price tag was set at $4780.93 plus $2.99 shipping and handling — unheard of in the new prince of the art world, — “Chalk Art.”
MacDonald, an attorney for prepaid legal services of New Jersey, is the new, proud owner of ”Colson: Contracts in Chalk.” MacDonald refers to his new purchase as functional art. In an exclusive interview, he strained to hide his emotions when explaining the piece was, “so much like a Picasso, yet brings such amazing clarity to the whole hoorah of contract conditions and modifications.”
MacDonald plans to hang the photos above the bar in his office as a decorative “assent.” On the price of the piece, MacDonald gushed, “How do you put a price on inspiration? When I look at this collection, sometimes I see a manatee barking at a pelican, other times I see the rules on the appropriateness of introducing extrinsic evidence. Art as a business tool — can you say tax deduction?”
The seller plans to purchase numerous contract hornbooks with the money earned. Rumor has it that the seller cannot take credit for his ingenious idea of selling contract outlines. Kyle Schou, claims to have paved the way last semester. Unfortunately, his auction was not nearly as snazzy and the photo was from his cell phone. He admittedly made enough to purchase a nice bottle of scotch to drink after the torts final. A fair trade indeed.